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Stupid Jokes

Newest jokes in this category
My husband, who uses a wheelchair, showed up at his eye doctor for an appointment.
The receptionist checked the schedule, then said, "The nurse will call you in a moment. Have a seat."
He smiled. "Done."
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Nurse jokes Marriage and Family Jokes Medical and Doctor Jokes Communication Jokes Stupid Jokes
Q: Why did two women walk into a saloon pointing bananas at people and shouting:
"GIVE US YER LOOT!"
A: They were both blonds.
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Money jokes Blonde Jokes Stupid Jokes
Two blondes are walking down the street. One notices a compact on the sidewalk and leans down to pick it up. She opens it, looks in the mirror and says,
"Hmm, this person looks familiar."
The second blonde says,
"Here, let me see!" So the first blonde hands her the compact.
The second one looks in the mirror an d says,
"You duммy, it's me!"
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Blonde Jokes Stupid Jokes
It was very hot, and this guy runs to a nearby store to buy a hand fаn.
There were two similar fans in make and model but one was 25 cents and the other was 50 cents.
The guy opted for the cheaper one thinking that they work the same way.
Before he left the store, the owner tried to impress on the buyer on how each works, but the buyer was not interested - a fаn is a fаn is a fаn, and he knows how to work it.
The 25 cent fаn broke.
He came back yelling and screaming that the fаn was no good.
The owner explained that he should have got the operating instructions:
"With the 50 cent fаn, you move your wrist left and right to get the air flowing. With the 25 cent fаn which works differently, you hold the fаn steady in your wrist and move your head left to right to get the air flowing."
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Customer service jokes Technology Jokes Money jokes Stupid Jokes Weather jokes
There was a blonde who was at an all blonde football game.
At halftime she was called down to answer questions to see if she could win $1000.
The first question was what is 10 plus 11?
She hesitates and says, "hm.. 5!"
The host says "No, I'm sorry thats incorrect."
All of the blondes in the stadium chanted "Give her another chance, give her another chance!"
So the host agrees and said, "Ok how about 5 plus 5."
She answers and says "20".
Again all the blondes chanted "Give her another chance, give her another chance."
So the host agrees again and says, "OK, last chance, what is 2 plus 2."
The blonde says "4!" and the audience says "Give her another chance give her another chance!"
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Blonde Jokes Money jokes Soccer Jokes Math Jokes Stupid Jokes
A man asks his buddy: "Listen to me! Why has your wife left you, if I may ask?"
And he says, "you know, she has told me that I am weak in the bed."
"Oh, that is really sad. And what do you do to improve it?"
And he says again: "you know, I have bought one book, the name of this book is Kamasutra, you know I am helping myself with the hand, I have learned all positions, but the last position I am not gonna make."
"And what is the name of this position?"
"You know, imagine the missionary position."
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Sex Jokes Marriage and Family Jokes Friendship Jokes Stupid Jokes
Q: Why did the blonde keep an empty carton of milk in the fridge?
A: In case she wanted black coffee.
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Blonde Jokes Food Jokes Stupid Jokes Coffee Jokes
Q: Does your mum like shopping on the Internet?
A: No, the trolley keeps rolling off the top of the computer.
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Technology Jokes Yo Momma Jokes Computer Jokes Internet Jokes Stupid Jokes
911 ¿Por qué los gallegos no pueden marcar el 911?. Q: Why can't a blonde dial 911? A: Because she couldn't find the 11 Soru: Bir sarışın acil bir durumda neden 112’yi arayamaz? Cevap: Çünkü telefonda 11 tuşunu bulamayacağı için. Въпрос към радио "Ереван": - Защо блондинка не може да набере 911? Отговор на радиото: - Ами защото не може да набере 11... Varför kunde inte blondinen skriva siffran elva? Hon visste inte vilken etta som kom först Miksi blondi ei osaa kirjoittaa lukua “yksitoista”? Hän ei tiedä, kumpi ykkönen tulee ensin.
Q: Why couldn't the blonde write the number eleven?
A: She didn't know what one came first.
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Math Jokes Blonde Jokes Stupid Jokes
Mike: "Hey Joe. My girl friend always gets offended whenever I tell her jokes about bald people."
Joe: "Is your girl friend bald?"
Mike: "No. She"s a blonde."
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Blonde Jokes Friendship Jokes Relationship Jokes Stupid Jokes
Yo mama so sтuрid, she dropped off her phone because it stopped.
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Yo Momma Jokes Stupid Jokes Phone jokes
Die Wunderlampe На един самотен остров останали три блондинки. Търговски представител, администатор и управител на една фирма отишли да обядват заедно. A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette were all lost in the desert. They found a lamp and rubbed it. A genie popped out and granted them each one wish. A blonde, a brunette and a redhead were stuck on an island for many, many years until one day they found a magic lamp. They rubbed it hard and out popped a genie. He said that he could only give three wishes so since there were three girls, each... Three men stranded on an island. They were walking across the sand when they came across a magic lamp; they rubbed the lamp and out came a genie. The genie said "you have three wishes but make it... Están tres náufragos solos en una isla desierta y se encuentran una lámpara maravillosa. El genio les dice que les va a conceder un deseo a cada uno. El primero dice: - Deseo irme con mi familia y... Eran tres hombres en una isla desierta, y de pronto se encuentran una lámpara mágica, y los tres hombres la frotan, de pronto sale el genio de la lámpara y les dice a los tres hombres que les va a... Esto son tres amigas que se encuentran en una isla desierta, una es morena, otra pelirroja y la otra rubia y se encuentran una lampara y una de ellas dice: - Yo he oído que si se frota sale un...
Three guys are stuck on a deserted island when one of them finds a lamp on the beach. He picks it up and gives it a little rub and a genie pop out. The genie looks at the three guys and says:
"I normally give three wishes, but since there are three of you, I will grant each of you one wish."Well, the first guy is sick and tired of being on the island, so he wishes to go back home. РООF!He disappears. The second one said he, too, is tired of the island and wishes to go home. РООF!He too disappears. The genie then turns to the last guy and asks him what his wish is."Gee," he says," I'm awfully lonely here by myself. I wish my friends were still here!"
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Friendship Jokes Genie jokes Stupid Jokes
Two boys have taken part in IQ tests at the well-known psychologist.
The first boy has opened the door after 30 minutes of testing and has screamed: "wow, perfect, unbelievable, I have 60 points, I have 60 points!"
After another 30 minutes has opened the door the second boy and has screamed: "wow, super, I have 62 points, I have 62 points!"
They sat down and asked each other: "and what does it mean, that you have 60 points and I have 62 points? Let us ask the psychologist what does it mean?"
The psychologist has said: "the 60 and 62 points means that you are both idiots."
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Psychology and Psychiatry Jokes Medical and Doctor Jokes Stupid Jokes
A woman called the Colorado State Division of Wildlife regarding a snake in her backyard.
"Can you tell me what kind it is?" she asked.
"Can you describe it?" I asked.
"Yes," she said. "It's long and thin."
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Customer service jokes Communication Jokes Stupid Jokes Weather jokes
The man comes home drunken but he goes to the piggery instead of the house.
He lies down, he takes a look at the pig, caresses it and says: "Oh, it's you, darling, nакеd again?"
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Animal Jokes Dirty jokes Drinking and Drunk Jokes Communication Jokes Stupid Jokes
Yo mama so dumb she used old spice body wash to cook.
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Yo Momma Jokes Food Jokes Stupid Jokes
Какво отговоря блондинка като я попиташ дали мигачът мига? Две блондинки се возят в кола. Един борец казал на друг: Blonde Rides Shotgun The Blonde and the Blinker Δυο ξανθιές στο αμάξι Скъпа, погледни дали свети преден десен мигач! Што одговара плавуша кога ја прашуваат дали работи жмигавецот на колата: Zwei Österreicher überprüfen ihr Auto: A guy was driving in a car with a blonde. He told her to stick her head out the window and see if the blinker worked. - Vet du vad norrmännen säger om blinkersen i bilen? - Fungerer, fungerer ikke... C'est deux belges qui sont dans une voiture et le préparent pour partir en vacances. Le conducteur dis au passager - Va voir si le clignotant marche bien s'il te plaît. - Ouais, ouais, tout de... Carabinieri in auto: "Appuntato guarda se la freccia funziona". "Ora si', ora no, ora si', ora no ..." Det var en norrman, en dansk och Bellman som skulle köpa bil. Bellman ville prova ljusen och norrmannen ställde sig bakom bilen för att kontrollera ljusen. Bellman slog på ljuset. - Ja det... A man got in a taxi cab to be driven to work. They were about to turn a corner, but had to wait for the light. The taxi cab driver wasn’t sure his blinkers were working so he said to the man "will... Kevin, schaust du mal bitte, ob der Blinker hinten funktioniert? Kevin: Ja geht, nein, doch jetzt wieder, jetzt wieder nicht. Un tipo le dice a la mujer rubia: - Andrea, hazme el favor y mírame si funciona el intermitente derecho. Andrea sale y dice: - Sí, no, sí, no. What does a blonde say when you ask her if her blinker is working? Yes. No. Yes. No. Yes. No. Yes. No. Yes. No. Det var en Svensk turist som var ute och åkte bil i Norge. Han svängde in på en verkstad för att kolla så att alla lampor på bilen fungerade. - Kan jag få hjälp med en sak? Frågade svensken. -... Det var två norr män som skulle åka bil. Då sa den som skulle köra till den andra: - Kan du gå ur och kolla så blinkersen funkar? - Okej, sa han och gick ut för att titta. Så satte han som skulle... P: O que uma loira te responde quando você pergunta se o pisca-pisca está funcionando? — Está; não está; Está. Não está... Ein Mann bittet eine Blondine sich hinter sein Auto zu stellen, um ihm zu sagen, ob sein Blinker funktioniert. Blondine geht hinters Auto und ruft: Ja Nein Ja Nein Ja Nein..... A guy asked a blonde if his blinkers were working and she replied On,off,on,off Two blondes are driving down the road, the driver turns to the passengar and says can you tell me if my blinker is working. So the passengar sticks her head out the window and says... A guy driving his car asks his blonde girlfriend to stick her head out of the window and check to see if the blinkers are working, she sticks her head out and tells the boyfriend to go ahead I'm... This guy picked up a dumb hitchhiker, and he said, 'Before we go any place, there might be something wrong with my right rear blinker. Will you go back there and check it?' The guy went back there.... Quando uma pessoa pergunta para uma loira se o pisca-pisca do carro está funcionado o que ela diz? R.. tá , nao tá , tá, nao tá , tá , nao tá....
A husband is driving with her blonde wife, the husband says "Can you stick your head out the window if the blinker works?" T
hen the blonde sticks her head out the window and replies, "Yes, No, Yes, No, Yes..".
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Marriage and Family Jokes Blonde Jokes Communication Jokes Stupid Jokes
Yo mama so fат and sтuрid, she went to a grocery store and tried to gamble at Butterball.
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Food Jokes Yo Momma Jokes Stupid Jokes
Police Officer says "We'll never forget 9/11..."
In my mind: "I hope not It's your dамn number!"
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Police Officer Jokes History Jokes Stupid Jokes Phone jokes
Your mama so dumb she thought the shoes Vans are actually vans.
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Yo Momma Jokes Stupid Jokes
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