(FWIW. “Sven and Ollie” are two yokels or hillbillies. They are popular subjects in Norwegian and Swedish jokes, often told in Minnesota and northern climates.. They typically are not the brightest bulbs on the Christmas tree.) …
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Sven and Ollie buy a mule. But when they get it home, they can’t get it into the barn. It just won’t go.
Sven says, “I know just the problem. He won’t fit through the door because his ears are too long.”
Ollie sees that Sven is right, thinks a bit, and then says, “I know what we can do. We should raise the barn up by a foot, so he’ll fit.”
Sven asks, “Wouldn’t it be easier to dig a ditch for him to walk in?”
Ollie says, “Sven, don’t be such a duммy! It’s his ears that are too long, not his legs!”
All my life I have been too compassionate and trusting. Always the sucker with a soft heart. …
I really need to vent. I’m just so sick of people, I can’t believe it. I have had enough!!!! I will never help anyone again……EVER!! I’m just DONE with people! …
Yesterday, I decided to take a man into my home out of the kindness of my heart. I felt so sorry for the guy. Poor thing was standing out in the cold, without a stitch of clothing on, just a smile from ear to ear. …
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When I got up this morning, he had just vanished! Not a word…not even a goodbye or a thank you for sheltering him!! NOTHING! …
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Oh, and the last straw?!?! The realization that he must have deliberately peed everywhere when I discovered the huge puddle he left on the living room floor!!! That’s the thank you I get for being good to people?!?!?! I’m just done with humanity…
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Now I’m going to warn you to watch out for this man! He’s somewhere around the north of New York state. He is heavy set with a very pale complexion, wearing nothing but a scarf, he has a nose that looks like a carrot, two black eyes, and his arms are so skinny they look like sticks!!! Don’t bring him into your house!! What a huge mess he made on my floor!
Merry Christmas!!!