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A guy goes into his attic to clean it out and finds an old oil lamp. He thinks he could sell it instead of throwing it away, so he starts to rub it and out pops this genie. The genie says to him " Thank you for awakening me, I can grant you three wishes as a token of my gratitude." The guy wishes for a billion dollars, the genie grants it. The guy then asks for a huge mansion with 2 Lamborghinis and 2 Ferraris, the genie grants it. The genie says “This is your last wish so really make this one count.” The guys says “Well I’ve always wanted to drive out to hawaiian islands, because airplanes scare me to death, so I would want a highway that could stretch from here all the way to the islands.” The Genie says “That is asking for quite a lot and I’m not sure if I can pull that off, Is there anything else you’d want?” The guy says "Well I’ve been married and divorced three times, and I just can’t understand what I’ve been doing wrong. I’ve given my ex-wives all the love and care that I could but in the end it was never enough. I would want to have the ability to understand women. The genie thinks for a few moments and says “Do you want a three or four lane highway?”
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Blind, Blond & Ballsy El del bar y el chiste de Lepe Ein Blinder will einen Blondinenwitz erzählen ΕΝΑΣ ΤΥΦΛΟΣ The blind man O τυφλός Ο τυφλός και η ξανθιά Един слепец си седи на бара и по едно време се провиква към бармана: Мъж влиза в заведение, сяда на бара до една едра изрусена жена и предлага да й разкаже виц за блондинки. Доаѓа малиот Ѓокица дома и целиот среќен му вели на татка си: A blind guy on a bar stool shouts to the bartender: A blind man enters a bar and find his way to a barstool. A man was recently flying to New York. He decided to strike up a conversation with his seat mate. Un ragazzo entra in un bar e dice: "Ho una nuova barzelletta di raccontare sui carabinieri". Un uomo, seduto ad un tavolo, dice: "Guarda ragazzo, io sono un carabiniere. E vedi il mio amico la Слеп маж влегува во женски моторџиски бар, некако го наоѓа столчето, нарачува кафе и по некое време и ја прашува келнерката "Сакаш ли да чуеш виц за плавуши". Во барот, експресно сите заќутуваат. Со доста длабок и зарипнат глас, жената до него му вели: "Пред да ја кажете шегата господине, сметам... A blind man walks into a bar. The blind man sits down, thinking he Em um bar, um bêbado olha para uma loira que estava ao seu lado e diz: — Posso contar uma piada de loira? A loira responde: Olha meu amigo, você além de estar muito bêbado, eu sou campeã nacional de Karatê, minha amiga loira aqui do meu lado, é campeã nacional de Jiu-jitsu, e a outra loira ao... Un borracho está tomando un trago en un bar donde el ambiente es bastante oscuro. En esto se da vuelta hacia la mujer que tiene a su lado y exclama: - ¿Quieres que te cuente un chiste de rubias super cómico? La mujer le responde:... - Bueno, pero antes de que me cuentes ese chiste, debes saber... En blind man på en barstol skriker till bartendern, - Vill du höra ett blondinskämt? Med låg röst så säger killen till vänster om honom, - Innan du berättar det där skämtet så är det nåt du borde veta. - Bartendern är blond, dörrvakten är blond.... Un aveugle entre dans un bar lesbienne par erreur. Il trouve son chemin vers le comptoir et commande un verre. Au bout d Kommt ein Mann in eine Bar und sagt: "Hey Leute, wollt ihr den neuesten Blondinenwitz hören?" Meint die Barkeeperin: "Bevor du ihn erzählst, sollte ich dir vielleicht sagen, dass ich blond bin,... So a dude turns to the guy next to him at a bar and asks, "Hey, you wanna hear a redneck story?" The guy says, "Buddy, I Een blinde man gaat per ongeluk een vrouwenbar binnen. Hij vindt zijn weg tot de toog, zet zich neer op een kruk en bestelt iets te drinken. Nadat hij er zo een tijdje heeft gezeten, roept hij naar... Bardaki taburede oturan kör adamın biri barmene,- "Hey! Bir sarışın fıkrası duymak ister misin?" demiş.Barmen birden tamamıyle sessizleşmiş. Yanındaki adam fısıltı ile ona - "Fıkrayı anlatmadan... En blind man går av misstag in på en lesbisk bar. Han sätter sig på en barstol och beställer en drink. När han har suttit en stund ropar han på bartendern: - Hörru, vill du höra en... A blind guy on a bar stool shouts to the bartender, "Wanna hear a blonde joke?" In a hushed voice, the guy next to him says, "Before you tell that joke, you should know something." Our bartender IS... After a really good party a man walks into a bar and orders a drink. Already drunk and delirious, the man turns to the person sitting next to him and says, "You wanna hear a blonde joke?" The... En blind mann kommer inn på en damebar ved et uhell. Han finner veien frem til baren, tar frem en barkrakk, setter seg ned og han bestiller en drink. Etter å ha sittet en stund alene, roper han til... A man walks into a bar, he takes a seat and asks the barmen if he wanted to hear a blonde joke, the barmen replies before you tell this joke I want to tell you something, see the women over there,... Sokea mies meni baariin ja kysyi baarimikolta "haluatko kuulla blondivitsin?" Vierestä kuului kuiskaus "kuulehan nyt. Ennenkuin kerrot sen vitsin sinun tulee tietää, että baarimikko on blondi,... Aan een bar in een drukke kroeg zit een blinde man welke plotseling vrij hard roept naar de barkeeper: He barkeeper, zal ik jou eens een goeie mop over domme blondjes vertellen? De barkeeper loopt... Un hombre ciego entra en un "bar de chicas" por equivocación. Se las apaña para llegar hasta la barra y pide una copa, y tras estar un rato sentado en la tabureta le grita al camarero: - Eh, tú,... Kör bir adam yanlışlıkla Bayanlar Barına girer. Bara doğru ilerler ve bir içki ısmarlar. Biraz oturup, içkisini yudumladıktan sonra barmene seslenir: "Hey, bir sarışın fıkrası duymak ister misin?"... En blind mann i en bar roper til bartenderen: - ”Vil du høre en blondinevits?” Mannen ved siden av ham lener seg bort og hvisker: - ”Før du forteller den vitsen er det noe du bør vite. Bartenderen... En blind mand kommer ved en fejltagelse ind på en bar for kvinder. Han famler sig frem til en barstol, og bestiller en drink, uvidende om at han er genstand for alles opmærksomhed. Efter et stykke... So a blind man accidentally walks into a women Slepec se svým psem vejde do baru, najde si volnou židli a objedná si drink. Chvíli sedí a pak křikne: „Hej, barmane, chceš slyšet super vtip o blondýnách?” Bar okamžitě ztichne a žena vedle slepce...
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3 construction workers where sitting on the bridge that they where building having their lunch break. The first guy says “If I get a vegimite sandwich again I am going to jump off this bridge.” The second guys says “If get a peanut butter sandwich again I am going to jump off this bridge”. The third guy says if I get another strawberry jam sandwich then I am going to jump off this bridge.” The next day the first guy gets a vegimite sandwich, the second guy gets a peanut butter sandwich and the third guy gets a strawberry jam sandwich. All 3 guys jump of the bridge and die. The next day at their funerals the first wife says “If he just told me I would have given him a different sandwich.” The second guys wife says “It is all my fault. If only I knew.” The third wife says “I don’t get it, he makes his own lunch.”
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My lesbian neighbors asked me what I wanted for my birthday. My lesbian neighbours gave me a Rolex for my birthday, but I guess they missunderstood me when I said I wanna watch.
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МОМЧЕ Е, МОМЧЕ Е, ОЩЕ НЕ МОГА ДА ПОВЯРВАМ Ich schrie: "Es ist ein Junge. Ich kann es noch gar nicht fassen. Es ist ein Junge." Ich war so gerührt, ich stand sprichwörtlich in Tränen. "It "It
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Доктор: Лекар към пациент: Urologe zum Patienten: „Ich werde Sie jetzt rektal untersuchen und möchte Sie darüber aufklären, dass es dabei meist zu einer spontanen Erektion kommt. Das ist völlig normal und nicht weiter... “Don’t worry, getting an erection at this stage of the process is perfectly typical,” my doctor advised as he prepared me for the colonoscopy exam procedure. “I don’t have an erection,” I... Un gars consulte un médecin pour des problèmes de prostate. Le médecin lui annonce qu’il va devoir lui faire un  toucher rectal, et lui demande de baisser son pantalon et son slip. Puis, il lui... During my prostate exam, the doctor told me it was completely normal to get an erection. When I pointed out I didn
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