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30 people died in a car wreck before they got to Heaven God asked for one wish because they died in a tragic way the first lady she was obsessed with her looks so she asked to be beautiful and God granted her wish the next person didn’t know what to wish for so they wish for the same thing the guy in the very back was laughing having a grand old time then god got to the person before the last he aaid the same he wished to be beautiful when God got to the last person he said I want them all to be ugly again.
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Friend #1: “Yo guys, what’s the most unfair game you’ve ever played? For me it’s Fortnite.”
Friend #2: “I’d have to say Monopoly.”
Me: “The most unfair game you say? Life, definitely. Like, no one wins, it’s a one-way game.”
Friend #2: “Uhh…that’s not exactly what he meant…”
Friend #1: calls the suicide hotline
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My town’s population never changes. Every time a girl gets pregnant, a guy leaves town.
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A guy goes into his attic to clean it out and finds an old oil lamp. He thinks he could sell it instead of throwing it away, so he starts to rub it and out pops this genie. The genie says to him " Thank you for awakening me, I can grant you three wishes as a token of my gratitude." The guy wishes for a billion dollars, the genie grants it. The guy then asks for a huge mansion with 2 Lamborghinis and 2 Ferraris, the genie grants it. The genie says “This is your last wish so really make this one count.” The guys says “Well I’ve always wanted to drive out to hawaiian islands, because airplanes scare me to death, so I would want a highway that could stretch from here all the way to the islands.” The Genie says “That is asking for quite a lot and I’m not sure if I can pull that off, Is there anything else you’d want?” The guy says "Well I’ve been married and divorced three times, and I just can’t understand what I’ve been doing wrong. I’ve given my ex-wives all the love and care that I could but in the end it was never enough. I would want to have the ability to understand women. The genie thinks for a few moments and says “Do you want a three or four lane highway?”
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Blind
El del bar y el chiste de Lepe
Ein Blinder will einen Blondinenwitz erzählen
ΕΝΑΣ ΤΥΦΛΟΣ
The blind man
O τυφλός
Ο τυφλός και η ξανθιά
Един слепец си седи на бара и по едно време се провиква към бармана:
Мъж влиза в заведение
Доаѓа малиот Ѓокица дома и целиот среќен му вели на татка си:
A blind guy on a bar stool shouts to the bartender:
A blind man enters a bar and find his way to a barstool.
A man was recently flying to New York. He decided to strike up a conversation with his seat mate.
Un ragazzo entra in un bar e dice: "Ho una nuova barzelletta di raccontare sui carabinieri". Un uomo
Слеп маж влегува во женски моторџиски бар
A blind man walks into a bar. The blind man sits down
Em um bar
Un borracho está tomando un trago en un bar donde el ambiente es bastante oscuro. En esto se da vuelta hacia la mujer que tiene a su lado y exclama: - ¿Quieres que te cuente un chiste de rubias super cómico? La mujer le responde:... - Bueno
En blind man på en barstol skriker till bartendern
Un aveugle entre dans un bar lesbienne par erreur. Il trouve son chemin vers le comptoir et commande un verre. Au bout d'un moment il crie à la serveuse: - "Eh
Kommt ein Mann in eine Bar und sagt: "Hey Leute
So a dude turns to the guy next to him at a bar and asks
Een blinde man gaat per ongeluk een vrouwenbar binnen. Hij vindt zijn weg tot de toog
Bardaki taburede oturan kör adamın biri barmene
En blind man går av misstag in på en lesbisk bar. Han sätter sig på en barstol och beställer en drink. När han har suttit en stund ropar han på bartendern: - Hörru
A blind guy on a bar stool shouts to the bartender
After a really good party a man walks into a bar and orders a drink. Already drunk and delirious
En blind mann kommer inn på en damebar ved et uhell. Han finner veien frem til baren
A man walks into a bar
Sokea mies meni baariin ja kysyi baarimikolta "haluatko kuulla blondivitsin?" Vierestä kuului kuiskaus "kuulehan nyt. Ennenkuin kerrot sen vitsin sinun tulee tietää
Aan een bar in een drukke kroeg zit een blinde man welke plotseling vrij hard roept naar de barkeeper: He barkeeper
Un hombre ciego entra en un "bar de chicas" por equivocación. Se las apaña para llegar hasta la barra y pide una copa
Kör bir adam yanlışlıkla Bayanlar Barına girer. Bara doğru ilerler ve bir içki ısmarlar. Biraz oturup
En blind mann i en bar roper til bartenderen: - ”Vil du høre en blondinevits?” Mannen ved siden av ham lener seg bort og hvisker: - ”Før du forteller den vitsen er det noe du bør vite. Bartenderen...
En blind mand kommer ved en fejltagelse ind på en bar for kvinder. Han famler sig frem til en barstol
So a blind man accidentally walks into a women's bar and says to the girl bartender
Slepec se svým psem vejde do baru
A blind man walks into a bar, and asks the bartender, “Wanna hear a blonde joke?” The bartender replies with, “I’m blonde, the man working next to me is blonde, the woman next to you is blonde, and the fат guy behind you is blonde.” Then says “Do you really wanna tell the blonde joke?” the blind guy responds with "No I don’t wanna tell it that many times.
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3 construction workers where sitting on the bridge that they where building having their lunch break. The first guy says “If I get a vegimite sandwich again I am going to jump off this bridge.” The second guys says “If get a peanut butter sandwich again I am going to jump off this bridge”. The third guy says if I get another strawberry jam sandwich then I am going to jump off this bridge.” The next day the first guy gets a vegimite sandwich, the second guy gets a peanut butter sandwich and the third guy gets a strawberry jam sandwich. All 3 guys jump of the bridge and die. The next day at their funerals the first wife says “If he just told me I would have given him a different sandwich.” The second guys wife says “It is all my fault. If only I knew.” The third wife says “I don’t get it, he makes his own lunch.”
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What did the guy exclaim after inventing the shovel?
It is ground breaking!
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My lesbian neighbors asked me what I wanted for my birthday.
My lesbian neighbours gave me a Rolex for my birthday
Got a rolex for my birthday last week from a couple of lеsвiаns i know, think they misunderstood me when i said "i wanna watch".
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МОМЧЕ Е
Ich schrie: "Es ist ein Junge. Ich kann es noch gar nicht fassen. Es ist ein Junge." Ich war so gerührt
"It's a boy!" I shouted tears rolling down my face "I don't believe it. A boy!" Its at that moment I decided I'd never visit Thailand again.
"It's a boy
11 years ago today my pal James came running out shouting lts a boy!" With tears streaming down his face.
We never went back to Thailand.
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A cop stopped a guy for speeding.
He said, “Do you know how fast you were going?”
“I was trying to keep up with traffic,” the guy replied.
The cop said, “But there is no traffic.”
And the guy answered, “That’s how far behind I am.”
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Доктор:
Лекар към пациент:
Urologe zum Patienten: „Ich werde Sie jetzt rektal untersuchen und möchte Sie darüber aufklären
“Don’t worry
Un gars consulte un médecin pour des problèmes de prostate. Le médecin lui annonce qu’il va devoir lui faire un toucher rectal
During my prostate exam
My doctor says it's common to get an еrестiоn during a prostate exam
I never do, but he does.
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Q: In the Navy, how do they separate the men from the boys?
A: With a crowbar.
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Q: What do you call a lеsвiаn dinosaur?
A: Lickalotopuss.
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