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Limerick Jokes

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There once was a pretty young lass
Who had a remarkable ass
Not firm, plump and pink,
Like you already think,
But grey, had long ears and ate grass!
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A beautiful bird is the Pelican … …
His bill can hold more than his belly can … …
That great big beak … …
Can hold enough for a week … …
But I don’t know how the Неll-i-can
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There was once a man from Hong Kong
Who thought Limericks were too long.
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There once was a man from St. Claire
Who was shаgging his wife on the stair
The banister broke
On the sixty-eighth stroke
And they did sixty-nine in the air!
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There once was a man from Sаinт Paul’s
Who possessed the most useless of balls
One night at the Strand,
He managed a stand,
And tossed himself off in the stalls
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There was a young vampire called Mabel.
Whose periods were highly unstable.
By the light of the moon.
And the aid of a spoon.
She could drink herself under the table.
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In Days of Old …
When Knights Were Bold …
And Ladies Weren’t Particular …
They Lined Them Up Against The Wall, …
And Fuскеd Them Perpendicular
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An archaeologist found an old fossil
He was sure that his find was colossal
He could tell by the bend
And the dent in the end
‘Twas the Peter of Paul the Apostle!
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