Most popular jokes

Knock knock.
Who's there?
FBI.
FB…
We are asking the questions here!

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I got 99 problems and being upside down ain't one.
Ok wait I got 66 problems.

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Math Jokes

Life is like a definite integral.
Integral from birthday to death ( LOVE ) dx = LIFE

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Math Jokes Love Jokes Nerd jokes

Three guys are stuck on a deserted island when one of them finds a lamp on the beach. He picks it up and gives it a little rub and a genie pop out. The genie looks at the three guys and says:
"I normally give three wishes, but since there are three of you, I will grant each of you one wish."Well, the first guy is sick and tired of being on the island, so he wishes to go back home. РООF!He disappears. The second one said he, too, is tired of the island and wishes to go home. РООF!He too disappears. The genie then turns to the last guy and asks him what his wish is."Gee," he says," I'm awfully lonely here by myself. I wish my friends were still here!"

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Friendship Jokes Genie jokes Stupid Jokes

Roses are red
violets are blue.
My diск has glue
I offer it to you.

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Sex Jokes Dirty jokes Funny Poems Flirt jokes

Your Mom is so skinny she has to wipe her аss with dental floss.

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Yo Momma Jokes

A guy went to a supermarket and began to smoke.
Miss salesman: "Sir don't smoke here."
Guy: "I've just bought the cigarettes from here."
Miss salesman: "We sell condoms too; so that is not why you fuск me here."

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Rude Jokes Sex Jokes Customer service jokes

Q: What did the constipated mathematician do?
A: He worked it out with a pencil!

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Math Jokes Office and Work Jokes

Yo mama so ugly, even goldfish don't smile back.

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Yo Momma Jokes Animal Jokes Ugly Jokes

Two boys have taken part in IQ tests at the well-known psychologist.
The first boy has opened the door after 30 minutes of testing and has screamed: "wow, perfect, unbelievable, I have 60 points, I have 60 points!"
After another 30 minutes has opened the door the second boy and has screamed: "wow, super, I have 62 points, I have 62 points!"
They sat down and asked each other: "and what does it mean, that you have 60 points and I have 62 points? Let us ask the psychologist what does it mean?"
The psychologist has said: "the 60 and 62 points means that you are both idiots."

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Psychology and Psychiatry Jokes Medical and Doctor Jokes Stupid Jokes

Q:What did the polar bear say when they saw tourists in sleeping bags?
A:Mmmm, sandwiches!

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Animal Jokes

Husband and wife had a bitter quarrel on the day of their 40th wedding anniversary!
The husband yells, "When you die, I'm getting you a headstone that reads:
"Here Lies My Wife - Cold As Ever"
"Yeah?" she replies.
"When you die, I'm getting you a headstone that reads:
"Here Lies My Husband - Stiff At Last"

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Marriage and Family Jokes Wedding jokes

We must admit that we want to be like some animals.
We all want to be strong like a bear, we want to have a sharp sight like a falcon, the intelligence like an owl, the endurance like a horse, we want to sing like a skylark, we want to be running like a fox and of course we all want to have the salivas like a dragon lizard.

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Animal Jokes Dirty jokes

What's worse than 11 dead babies stapled to a tree?
1 dead baby stapled to 11 trees.

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Dead baby jokes Gross Jokes Morbid jokes

Poor Mac was having a bad time finding work. He was very overweight and it seemed to turn employers away. rnrnFinally, he found a job driving the tour bus on the Sesame Street studio. He was instructed to ask the names of the boarding passengers so he could personally address them as he gave the spoken tour while driving.rnrnIt was his first day. He sat patiently at the stop waiting for his passengers when he watched a huge fат lady waddle up to the bus. He asked her name as she boarded, and she responded Patty. Welcome aboard, Patty. Have a seat and we will be off soon. rnrnHe was startled when and equally large fellow approached. Again, he asked the name and the response was Patty O'Brien with a thick Irish brogue. Welcome aboard, Patty. Have a seat and we will be off soon. rnrnJust after the two Pattys had selected their seats, a shy looking small boy came up and asked if he could go. Sure son, come on in. What's your name? The boy responded Ross. It sounded like Ross might have some special problem but he seemed OK. rnrnThere were not many others around, so Mac was thinking he might not have anyone else join in. He was about to drive off when a creepy fellow came running up and asked to go along. Sure, come on in. We are about to go. What's your name? Lester was the response. Have a seat Lester. We are just about to go.rnrnAs he drove off to begin the tour, he glanced in the mirror to look at the passengers. Lester had removed his shoe and was picking at something on his foot. The vision made Big Mac laugh so hard he had to stop for a minute. rnrnHe was thinking who would believe this? Here I am with two big Pattys, a special Ross, and a creep named Lester picking bunions on a Sesame Street Bus?

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Travel and Tourist Jokes Office and Work Jokes Car and driving jokes Communication Jokes

There are an older brother and a younger sister.
The sister went to the bathroom while the brother was in the bathroom.
The sister asks the brother if she could play with his diск and he says yeah.
A few weeks later there was a big storm and the sister goes to the brother's room and asked the brother if she could play with Mr.Cuddles he says no.
Then the sister said that she would tell on him so a little рissеd of he says yes.
After a while, the parents hear a scream.
They rush to the brother's room and asks the sister what happened she said "Mr.Cuddles spat on me so I bit his head off."

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Sex Jokes Marriage and Family Jokes Dirty jokes

The email server is unable to verify your server connection.
Your message has not been delivered.
Please restart your computer and try sending again.

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Technology Jokes Office and Work Jokes Computer Jokes Communication Jokes

Q: Did you hear that the travel agency NEVER SEE YOU AGAIN offers the flights over the Bermuda Triangle?
A: Mostly is the trip successful for the first time, max. for the second time. Very popular is also the camping in tents near the shore of the river Nile.

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Travel and Tourist Jokes Business jokes Sick and Death Jokes

There appeared suddenly a crowd of many people in the street, because they caught a thief, who has stolen 500 euros from the grocery.
They wanted to beat him up, but Johny stayed still and told the people:
"who is without guilt, may throw a stone at this thief!"
Nobody wanted to throw a stone at this thief, becuase nobody was without guilt.
Suddenly one stone has hit this thief directly into his forehead and he has fallen down to the ground.
Johny asked:
"who was it? Who was it?"
The Heaven has opened and the oldest archangel has s aid:
"it was me!"

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Money jokes Heaven And Hell Jokes

A Jewish boy asked his father "Father, can you lend me 50 dollars?"
The father replied, "40 dollars, What do you need 30 dollars for?"

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Money jokes Jewish Jokes Ethnic and Racial Jokes Communication Jokes

Most Popular Jokes