Две бабички си вървят по шосето - връщат се от сенокос. Идут две бабы с сенокоса. Мимо пролетает парень на мотоцикле...без головы. Jedzie chłop razem z babą wozem. Jadą tak, jadą i chłop patrzy - wymija ich rowerzysta bez głowy. Chłop nic sobie z tego nie robi i jedzie dalej. Patrzy a tutaj motorowerzysta bez głowy ich wymija. Chłop dalej olewa sytuację. Jadą dalej, patrzy a tutaj motocyklista bez głowy, jeden, drugi,... Йдуть два куми по дорозі, коли — Вжик! .. — їх обігнав мотоцикліст без голови. Глянули куми один на одного з подивом й пішли далі. Коли знову — Вжик! .. — мотоцикліст знову без голови. Знову... Mergeau odata badea Ion si badea Gheorghe prin oras cu caruta. Gheorghe zice: - Bai Ioane uite un motociclist fara cap! Mai merge ce merge, si din nou spune: - Bai Ioane uite un motociclist fara... Iet pa ceļa malu zemnieki. Pēkšņi pabrauc garām pāris riteņbraucēji bez galvām. Viens saka: - Johaidī, nu gan brīnumi! Otrs: - Nav nekādu brīnumi, pārliec izkapti uz otra pleca! Two farmers are walking down a road when suddenly they’re passed by a headless biker.Weird, but – well. They continue down the road. After a while they are passed by a headless bicyclist.Hm. They walk on for a bit when one says to the other, “Joe, how about you put the scythe on your other shoulder?” 208 0 0
Al ritorno da scuola, un bambino chiede al padre: "Oggi a scuola ci hanno insegnato delle nuove parole, ma io non ho capito: qual è la differenza tra certo e confidenziale?" Il padre: "Te lo spiego subito con un esempio. Tu sei mio figlio e sono CERTO di questo. Anche il tuo amichetto Marco è mio... Un ragazzino chiede al padre: - 'Qual'è la differenza tra certo e confidenziale?' Il padre: - 'Tu sei mio figlio. Sono certo di questo. Il tuo amico qui sopra è anche lui mio figlio. Questo è... Son - "Dad whats the difference between confident and confidential?"Dad - "Hmm. You are my son. Of that I am confident. Your friend Timmy is also my son. That's confidential." 208 0 0
Мъжа: Муж: Ehemann: Mal Lust auf einen Quickie? Ehefrau: Im Gegensatz zu was? Husband: Want a quickie?Wife: As opposed to what? 204 0 0
In order to attract women I like to use this quote from Shakespeare’s Hamlet, Act III, Scene IV, line 82.“Hello.” 204 0 0
За български - натиснете 1 Ако не разбирате български - натиснете 2 If you understand English, press 1. If you do not understand English, press 2. 203 0 0
The only thing I take seriously in the newspapers nowadays is Fish and Сhiрs.And even that I take With a pinch of salt. 203 0 0
Бабата пита малката Мария: Mama pyta Jasia: - Co dziś robiłeś na podwórku? - Udawałem ptaka. - A co robiłeś - śpiewałeś czy ćwierkałeś? - Jadłem robaki. Jussi tuli juosten kotiin ja kertoi äidilleen: Äiti, äiti, pikkuveli matkii lintua. Ihanko totta? Viserteleekö hän? Ei, ei, hän syö matoja. Grandma asks little Fiona, “Did you have a nice play outside?”Fiona smiles, “Yeah, I was playing pretend and I was a lovely bird!”“Oh that’s beautiful. Did you sing nicely?” says Grandma.Fiona explains, “No, I was eating worms!” 193 0 0
Сутринта попитах мъжа ми дали помни какъв ден е днес. Толкова е лесно да уплашиш мъж! :) I just asked my husband if he remembers what today is... Scaring men is easy. 192 0 0
Adam & Eve's Surprise Was war das erste, was Adam zu Eva sagte? "Halt besser Abstand, Süsse. Ich weiss nicht, wie gross das Ding noch wird..." Mitä Aatami sanoi Eevalle kun sai ensimmäisen stondiksen? Viittiks siirtyä vähän kauemmaks kun ei yhtään tiedä miten iso tästä tulee. Selvtillid Hvad sagde Adam til Eva, da han fik ståpik for alleførste gang? FLYT DIG FOR HELVEDE..... Jeg ved jo ikke hvor stor den bliver!! Какви са били първите думи на Адам към Ева? - Отдръпни се, моля, че не знам това нещо колко голямо може да стане... Κάνε στην άκρη μωρό μου, ποιος ξέρει πόσο μεγάλο θα γίνει! What did Adam say to Eve? ‘Stand back! I don’t know how big this thing gets!’ 189 0 0
Q: When does a person decide to become an accountant?A: When he realizes he doesn't have the charisma to succeed as an undertaker. 185 0 0
So I walked into a this bar and heard two girls speaking in what sounded like a lovely Scottish accent. I said: A man in a pub hears two overweight ladies behind him speak with an accent. He turns and asks:- Are all of you ladies from Scotland?- Wales, they reply hastily.- Sorry! Are all of you whales from Scotland? 183 1 0
Учителката: English Teacher : Give me the opposite of this sentence : "Children In the dark make mistakes "Student : "Mistakes in the dark make Children "Teacher: GET OUT! 179 1 0
- Иванчо, какви бяха последните думи на дядо ти? I’ll never forget my Granddad’s last words to me just before he died. “Are you still holding the ladder?” Ik zal nooit de laatste woorden van mijn opa aan mij vergeten vlak voordat hij stierf. Houd je de ladder nog steeds vast? I will never forget my dad’s last words: “Will you stop playing with the bow, Nicholas?!” I will always remember my grandpa’s last words: Stop shaking the ladder you сunт! 175 0 0
Math Teacher:"If I have 5 bottles in one hand and 6 in the other hand, what do I have?" Student:"A drinking problem." 172 1 0
- Как да накарате мъж да направи нещо, което не иска? Най-лесния начин да се накара един мъж да направи нещо вкъщи - е да се спомене, че сигурно вече е доста стар, за да направи това... Wat is de beste mannier om een man iets te laten doen? Zeggen dat hij er te oud voor is. The best way to get your husband to do something is to suggest he’s too old to do it. 161 0 0
Bei der Marine nehmen sie jetzt nur noch Nichtschwimmer! Във флота вече вземат за моряци само хора, които не могат да плуват. Говорят, что в будущем в морфлот будут брать только не умеющих плавать - они намного лучше защищают свой корабль! Die Marine nimmt jetzt bevorzugt Nichtschwimmer in Dienst. Warum? Na, weil die im Ernstfall die Schiffe länger verteidigen! Effective immediately, the navy is only conscripting non-swimmers.They defend the ships much more eagerly. 160 0 0
When I was young my sister used to play with dolls and I played with soldiers, now we do it the other way round. 158 0 0
Warum hast du nie geheiratet? - Сонче, не е ли крайно време да се омъжиш? Дві подруги плавають в басейні. Одна інший каже: - Слухай, ну скільки ж можна бути самотньою? Треба ж колись вийти заміж. Ну, познайомся з ким-небудь! - Та не хочу я ні з ким знайомитися, я весь час про твого чоловіка думаю. - Як про мого чоловіка ?!... "Hey, man! You didn't tell me why didn't you get through with the wedding!""To tell you the truth... I'm thinking about your wife, all the time!""WHAT? You РRIСК!""Chill out man... Don't get it wrong... I'm just afraid that I might end up having the same bad luck as you had...!" 157 0 0