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Two farmers are walking down a road when suddenly they’re passed by a headless biker.
Weird, but – well. They continue down the road. After a while they are passed by a headless bicyclist.Hm. They walk on for a bit when one says to the other, “Joe, how about you put the scythe on your other shoulder?”

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Old People Jokes

Son - "Dad whats the difference between confident and confidential?"
Dad - "Hmm. You are my son. Of that I am confident. Your friend Timmy is also my son. That's confidential."

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Marriage Jokes, Family Jokes | Friendship Jokes | Dad Jokes | Whats The Difference, What's The Difference jokes

Husband: Want a quickie?
Wife: As opposed to what?

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Marriage Jokes, Family Jokes

If you understand English, press 1.
If you do not understand English, press 2.

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Customer service jokes | Communication Jokes

The only thing I take seriously in the newspapers nowadays is Fish and Сhiрs.
And even that I take With a pinch of salt.

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Grandma asks little Fiona, “Did you have a nice play outside?”
Fiona smiles, “Yeah, I was playing pretend and I was a lovely bird!”
“Oh that’s beautiful. Did you sing nicely?” says Grandma.
Fiona explains, “No, I was eating worms!”

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Kids jokes, Toddler Jokes, Children jokes

I wonder what Facebook employees do to waste their time at work?

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Work Jokes, Office Jokes | Facebook Jokes | History Jokes

I just asked my husband if he remembers what today is...
Scaring men is easy.

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Men jokes | Communication Jokes

What did Adam say to Eve?
‘Stand back! I don’t know how big this thing gets!’

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Religion jokes | Sex Jokes

Q: When does a person decide to become an accountant?
A: When he realizes he doesn't have the charisma to succeed as an undertaker.

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Accountant jokes, Accounting Jokes

A man in a pub hears two overweight ladies behind him speak with an accent. He turns and asks:
- Are all of you ladies from Scotland?
- Wales, they reply hastily.
- Sorry! Are all of you whales from Scotland?

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English Teacher :
Give me the opposite of this sentence : "Children In the dark make mistakes "
Student : "Mistakes in the dark make Children "
Teacher: GET OUT!

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Math Teacher:
"If I have 5 bottles in one hand and 6 in the other hand, what do I have?"
Student:
"A drinking problem."

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School jokes, Teacher Jokes | Math jokes, Mathematics Jokes, Mathematicians jokes, Algebra Jokes

The best way to get your husband to do something is to suggest he’s too old to do it.

161

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Marriage Jokes, Family Jokes

Effective immediately, the navy is only conscripting non-swimmers.
They defend the ships much more eagerly.

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Military Jokes About The Army, And Air Force

Never marry a woman who was captain of the debate team.

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Jokes about Women | Communication Jokes

"Hey, man! You didn't tell me why didn't you get through with the wedding!"
"To tell you the truth... I'm thinking about your wife, all the time!"
"WHAT? You РRIСК!"
"Chill out man... Don't get it wrong... I'm just afraid that I might end up having the same bad luck as you had...!"

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Marriage Jokes, Family Jokes | Men jokes | Wedding jokes

When I was young my sister used to play with dolls and I played with soldiers, now we do it the other way round.

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Sex Jokes | Military Jokes About The Army, And Air Force