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Latest Jokes

What do you call an evil Muslim?
Muhahahahahahammed

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What do you call jokes

What does the narcissistic соw say?
"Meeeeee!"
I wrote this.
I'm now a comedy writer.
You are welcome.

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Cow jokes

I'll never forget my dog's last words
"You've taken too much acid."

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Dog jokes

I asked a librarian for a book about Pavlov's dog and Schroedinger's cat.
She said it rang a веll, but she wasn't sure if it was there or not.

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Cat jokes Dog jokes

Why was Sally rolling in the grass?
She was on fire.

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Dark Humor Jokes Anti-Humor Jokes

My nerd friend just got a Ph. D. on the history of palindromes.
He is now Dr. Awkward.

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Nerd jokes

Why do white people own so many pets?
Because we’re not allowed to own people anymore.

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White people jokes

A vegan, an Italian and a Prius owner walk into a bar.
I know this because they told me when they walked in the door.

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Italian Jokes Vegan and Vegetarian Jokes

I saw Batman leaving Church early on Easter
It was the first time I had seen a Christian Bale

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Easter Jokes Superhero Jokes

Ollie and Lena visit New York City. Caught in traffic on East 46th, a homeless person starts washing the windshield. Ole rolls down the window. …
…
“Eh how’s it going?” the homeless guy says. …
…
“Ohhh it’s OK. Ole says. …
…
“Hey where are you folks from?”
“Ohh ve’re from Minnesota.”
“Ohhh Minnesota, I’ve been there. I met the ugliest woman I ever saw in Minnesota!”
Lena asks “Vat’s he saying Ollie?”
“Ohhh he says he knows you Lena.”

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Jokes about Women Stupid Jokes

Why do most homes have a window above the kitchen sink?
It gives women a point of view.

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Jokes about Women Sexist Jokes

Had to deal with with doctor’s receptionist this morning and managed to get an appointment..
Reminder to myself…add hostage negotiator to CV!!!!

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Medical and Doctor Jokes Sarcasm Jokes

Sometimes I worry about what other people think but then I remember that most people are super dumb and probably don’t think at all, like those that vote for our political leaders.

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Political Jokes Philosophy Jokes

Never break someone's heart because they have only one inside... Break their bones because they have 206 of them.

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Love Jokes

I was in Tesco's and I saw this man and woman wrapped in a barcode.
I said,
"Are you two an item?"

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Jokes about Women Men jokes Life Jokes

Yesterday I ran into my ex.
He said that he would buy me a new iPhone if I spend the night with him.
Men are such jerks!
Sent from my iPhone 7.

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Men jokes Apple and iPhone Jokes

My dad sat me down, brought the laptop in and said, “Son, I think it’s time to talk to you about роrnоgrарhy.”
“What about it?” I replied.
“How the hеll can I get past the filters without your mum knowing?”

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Dad Jokes Internet Jokes

Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked a tadpole and turned it into a frog, then he kicked it again and it died.

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Animal Jokes Chuck Norris Jokes Sick and Death Jokes

Yo mama so fат when her beeper goes off, people thought she was backing up.

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Yo Momma Jokes Fat Jokes

A guy goes to the first aid section of the hospital. He says: ‘I’ve got 3 ваlls, could you have a look?
A nurse takes him to the examination room, checks his ваlls, and says: ‘Nope, you’ve got 2 ваlls, just like any other man’
‘Impossible’, the guy says, ‘you should look better’
The nurse checks his ваlls again for a couple of minutes and says: ‘there’s really nothing wrong’
‘Get another nurse’, the guys demands.
Another nurse joins the club and starts checking his ваlls too and says: ‘Really, I only see 2 ваlls…
The guy says: ‘Okay, perhaps I’m mistaking…’, and he walks away.
Just outside he runs into his friend who says: ‘Hey, what are you doing here?
The guy: ‘Well… I was waiting for the bus and noticed that it could take at least 1 hour for the bus to arrive. So I thought, I’m gonna have some chicks rub and touch my sack for a while…

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Men jokes Friendship Jokes Disability Jokes Nurse jokes