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Four men were bragging about how smart their cats are.
The first man was an Engineer, the second man was an Accountant, the third man was a Chemist, the fourth was a Government Employee.
To show off, the Engineer called to his cat, “Tsquare, do your stuff.”
T-square pranced over to a desk, took out some paper and a pen and promptly drew a circle, a square, and a triangle.
Everyone agreed that was pretty smart.
But the Accountant said his cat could do better.
He called his cat and said, Spreadsheet, do your stuff.”
Spreadsheet went out into the kitchen and returned with a dozen cookies. He divided them into 4 equal piles of 3 cookies each.
Everyone agreed that was good.
But the Chemist said his cat could do better.
He called his cat and said, “Measure, do your stuff.”
Measure got up, walked over to the fridge, took out a quart of milk, got a 10 ounce glass from the cupboard and poured exactly 8 ounces without spilling a drop.
Everyone agreed that was good.
Then the three men turned to the Government Employee and said, “What can your cat do?”
The Government Worker called to his cat and said, “Coffee Break, do your stuff.”
Coffee Break jumped to his feet, ate the cookies, drank the milk, crapped on the paper, sсrеwеd the other three cats, claimed he injured his back while doing so, filed a grievance report for unsafe working conditions, put in for Workers Compensation and went home for the rest of the day on sick leave.
Инженер, счетоводител, химик и държавен служител започнали спор чий котарак е най-умен. Un ingeniero, un contable, un químico, un informático y un funcionario se vanaglorian por tener cada uno un maravilloso perro. El ingeniero llama a su can: - ¡Raíz cuadrada, enséñanostu talento!... 3 Katzen treffen sich zum gemeinsamen Fressen. Die erste Katze ist die eines Architekten, die zweite die eines Chemikers und die dritte die eines Regisseurs. Alle drei sitzen vor ihren Futternäpfen voller Brekkies. Die Katze des Architekten nimmt die Brekkies, baut damit 4 Wände, zieht einen... Un ingénieur, un comptable, un chimiste, un informaticien et un fonctionnaire se vantaient d'avoir un chien merveilleux. Pour le démontrer, l'ingénieur dit à son chien : - Racine carrée,... 5 τύποι, ένας μηχανικός, ένας λ ογιστής, ένας χημικός, ένας κομπιουτεράς και ένας δημόσιος υπάλληλος καυχιόντουσαν για το πόσο έξυπνα σκυλιά έχουν. Czterech mężczyzn - inżynier, chemik, księgowy oraz pracownik administracji państwowej spierało się czyj pies jest najmądrzejszy. Inżynier zawołał do swojego psa: - Pi, pokaż co umiesz! Pies...
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One Day Sтuрid, Trouble, and Shut Up were driving along in their car when Trouble suddenly hurled himself out of the window.
Well, Sтuрid and Shut Up did not know what to do so they went to the police station.
When they got there the chief asked them their names.
“Shut Up”, replied Shut Up.
“Sтuрid”, replied Sтuрid.
The police chief thought these people were telling him to shut up, and were calling him sтuрid.
Which made him very mad.
“Excuse Me!” shouted the chief.
Thinking the chief was hard of hearing, They once again shouted there names.
“Shut Up!”
“Sтuрid!”
The police chief was very riled.
He then asked” Are you looking for trouble?”!!!
Stunned at the idea of the chief knowing that they were looking for their friend, they replied,”Why yes, how did you know?”
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One day at a busy airport, the passengers on a commercial airliner are seated waiting for the pilot to show up so they can get underway.
The pilot and copilot finally appear in the rear of the plane and begin walking up to the cockpit through the center aisle.
Both appear to be blind; the pilot is using a white cane, bumping into passengers right and left as he stumbles down the aisle.
The copilot is using a guide dog.
Both have their eyes covered with sunglasses.
At first, the passengers do not react thinking that it must be some sort of practical joke.
After a few minutes though, the engines start revving, and the airplane begins moving down the runway.
The passengers look at each other with some uneasiness.
They start whispering among themselves and look desperately to the stewardesses for reassurance.
Yet, the plane starts accelerating rapidly, and people begin panicking.
Some passengers are praying, and as the plane gets closer and closer to the end of the runway, the voices are becoming more and more hysterical.
When the plane has less than twenty feet of runway left, there is a sudden change in the pitch of the shouts as everyone screams at once.
At the very last moment, the plane lifts off and is airborne.
Up in the cockpit, the copilot breathes a sigh of relief and tells the pilot: "You know, one of these days the passengers aren't going to scream, and we aren't going to know when to take off!"
Самолетът стои на пистата и се подготвя за излитане. Two blind pilots enter a plane. They have sunglasses and white sticks. As the plane starts to move, the passengers are uncomfortable. The plane gains speed, but it stays on the ground. The... Two blind pilots get on a plane and walk right Through the main aisle, sporting white canes and dark shades. The passengers are mildly concerned but assume it’s all a joke. The plane starts taxiing... Σε μια από τις τακτικές πτήσεις μια αεροπορικής εταιρίας, οι επιβάτες έχουν ήδη επιβιβαστεί στο σκάφος και περιμένουν τους πιλότους να μπουν για να απογειωθούν. Τελικά ο κυβερνήτης και ο... All'aeroporto di Milano Malpensa, in una lunga fila di check-in di un volo Milano - New York, durante l'attesa, un passeggero nota una persona, con uniforme da pilota e con il tipico bastone bianco... Yolcular uçağın hemen yanı başında, bavullarını gösteriyorlar. Uçak şirketinin minibüsü yanaşmış, içinden kaptan pilot ile yardımcısı inmiş. Kaptan pilotun elinde bir beyaz baston, kolunda üç... A sala de espera estava lotada de passageiros para o vôo 171, da Gaivota's Airlines, que já estava meia hora atrasado. As aeromoças tentavam tranqüilizar os passageiros, dizendo que a equipe de vôo... Felszállás előtt a repülő utasai csodálkozva látják, hogy a kapitány egy vakvezető kutyával, fekete szemüvegben, fehér bottal botladozik a pilótafülke felé. Először mindenki arra gondol, hogy... A repülőgép lépcsőjén két pilóta egyenruhás ember lépdel fel, fekete szemüvegben, fehér bottal. Az utasok röhögése és szörnyülködése közepette elfoglalják helyüket a pilótafülkében. Végül az utasok... Na odlétací ploše letiště stojí letadlo a cestující se dívají na piloty, které vede slepecký pes, mají černé brýle a slepecké hole. „To je asi nějaká sranda,” šeptají si mezi sebou. Ale najednou...
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Двама били заедно, на сутринта дамата пита: Срещат се двама в бара, хихо-хахо, айде на "кафе". Анестезиолог The Doctor's Convention A guy and a girl met at a bar. Two doctors are having s*x, he says to her, "You must be a surgeon, you washed your hands before and after." She replies, "Well you must be an anesthetist, because I didn't feel a f*cking thing!" Buen dentista Un chico y una chica se encuentran en un bar. Se llevan tan bien que deciden ir a un lugar más privado, al apartamento de ella. Un par de copas más tarde, el chico se quita la camisa... Despues de hacer el amor ella le pregunta a el: - Papi tu eres anesteciologo?- El sorprendido dice: - Si,xq lo preguntas?- - Xq yo no senti un ****- Jajaja но отдыхе он и она толком не успели познакомиться, но уже оказались... Утро. Южный приморский город. Курортный роман. Интеллигентная пара (за 40) проснувшись, принимает водные процедуры. Von Beruf Anästhesist Un homme et une femme se rencontrent dans un bar. Ils discutent un peu et puis comme cela arrive dans la vie, ils décident d'aller chez la femme. Une femme et un homme font l'amour. Après l'acte sexuel, l'homme demande : C'est un séminaire médical. Au cours d'un des nombreux banquets prévus, un médecin homme repère un médecin femme. Ils font connaissance, et elle accepte un rendez-vous pour un dîner au restaurant en tête à tête. Au restaurant, avant de s'asseoir à la... Un couple a fait l'amour pour la première fois. Après tout ça, le mec demande à sa copine qui va se laver les mains : - Dis-moi, tu voudrais être infirmière plus tard ? - Non. Pourquoi ? - Parce... Ο καταδρομέας.. Σε ένα συνέδριο γιατρών ένας άντρας και μια γυναίκα κοιτάζονται επίμονα. Ο άντρας της προτείνει να πάνε για δείπνο και αυτή δέχεται. Στο εστιατόριο αυτή ζητάει συγγνώμη και πηγαίνει να πλύνει τα... Due medici dopo un congresso scopano a letto. Alla fine lui dice: “Dall’abilita’ delle tue mani scommetto che sei ginecologa!”. Lei: “E tu anestesista!”. “Ma come fai a dirlo?”. Lei: “Non ho... W czasie stosunku siostra dyżurna mówi do lekarza dyżurnego: - Panie doktorze, pan to chyba jest anestezjolog! - Zgadza się, skąd pani to wie? - odparł lekarz. Na to siostra: - Bo nic nie czuję! De båda läkarna hade träffats på en kongress. Han var från Göteborg och hon var från Stockholm. De åt middag tillsammans och fortsatte i baren för att avsluta kvällen på hans hotellrum och i hans... Efter sexualakten säger söta Sara: - Du Klas. Är du narkosläkare eller....? Klas: - Nej, hurså? Söta Sara: - Jag kände ju för fasen ingenting... De mødte hinanden på en bar og vågnede op i samme seng. Jeg ved hvad du laver sagde pigen, du er pædagog. Ja, men hvordan vidste du det? På dit lilla undertøj. Nå sagde han, så må du jo være... Nākamajā rītā pēc pirmās nakts. Viņa: ?Kāda īsti ir tava profesija?? Viņš: ?Anesteziologs.? Viņa: ?Tagad skaidrs, kāpēc es neko nejutu.?
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