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Latest Jokes

Q: Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he walked out of the singles bar?
A: He got Avogadro's number!

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Science jokes Bar and Bartender Jokes Chemistry Jokes Nerd jokes

How can you know a lawyer is lying?
When he moves his lips.

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Lawyer Jokes

When a mime sees Chuck Norris, he makes a glass wall and pretends he's dead.

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Chuck Norris Jokes Sick and Death Jokes

All wars stopped when Chuck Norris said, "Can I apply for the army?"

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Chuck Norris Jokes Military Jokes

Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Owls say.
Owls say who?
Yep, that they do.

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Animal Jokes Knock-knock jokes Communication Jokes

Yo mama is so fат when she went on a rowing machine it sank.

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Vulgar jokes Yo Momma Jokes Fat Jokes

Yo Momma so fат, she steps on a scale and makes my phone number come up.

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Yo Momma Jokes Fat Jokes Phone jokes

Q: Why did the computer go to the dentist?
A: Because it had Bluetooth.

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Computer Jokes Dentist Jokes Nerd jokes

Yo momma so fат when she saw a bus she said come back Тwinкiе.

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Yo Momma Jokes Fat Jokes

Two men were walking through the woods when a large bear walked out into the clearing not more than fifty feet from them.
The first man dropped his backpack and dug out a pair of running shoes. Then, as the bear slowly approached them, he furiously attempted to lace them up.
The second man, somewhat confused, looked at the first man and said, "Whaddya doing? Running shoes ain’t gonna help! You can't outrun that there bear!"
"I don't need to outrun the bear, buddy," said the first man, "I just need to outrun you."

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Animal Jokes Men jokes Hunting Jokes

Q: What does a twelve-pound mouse say to a cat?
A: ‘Here Kitty, kitty, kitty’!

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Animal Jokes Pet Jokes

Do you know why men have holes in the end of their penises?
So oxygen can get into their brains.

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Men vs Women Jokes Dirty jokes Men jokes

Romi (to the doctor): "Doctor, my sister thinks that she is a lift."
Doctor: "Tell her to come in."
Romi: "I cannot"
Doctor: "Why so?"
Romi: "Because she does not stop at this floor."

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Medical and Doctor Jokes

A Russian captain is trying to explain to his comrades the effects of atomic bombs:
"Now, imagine 20 no, 40, no... a 100 cases of vоdка and noone to drink them!"

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Drinking and Drunk Jokes Military Jokes Russian Jokes Life Jokes

Yo momma is so fат when she sat on da toilet it said here's a carrot and a diet coke.

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Food Jokes Yo Momma Jokes Fat Jokes Diet and Weight Loss Jokes

Do you know why bankers are good lovers?
They know first hand the penalty for early withdrawal.

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Men jokes Banker Jokes Love Jokes

A major network is planning the show "Survivor" this winter. In response, Texas is planning "Survivor, Texas Style." The contestants will start in Dallas, travel through Waco, Austin, San Antonio, over to Houston, and down to Brownsville. They will proceed up to Del Rio, on to El Paso, then to Midland/Odessa, Lubbock, and Amarillo. From there, they proceed to Abilene, and on to Ft. Worth and back to Dallas.
Each will be driving a pink Volvo with a bumper sticker that reads, "I'm gаy, I voted for Al Gore, and I'm here to confiscate your guns."

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Military Jokes Gay and Lesbian Jokes

Me (texting): Are we still on for today?
Reply Received: You don’t have to text me this every morning! As your boss, trust me when I say, WE ARE "ON" FOR WORK EVERYDAY, MON - FRI!

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One-Liner Jokes Boss Jokes

Mrs. Hunter was called to serve for jury duty, but asked to be excused because she didn't believe in capital punishment and didn't want her personal thoughts to prevent the trial from running its proper course.But the public defender liked her thoughtfulness and quiet calm, and tried to convince her that she was appropriate to serve on the jury.
"Madam," he explained, "this is not a мurdеr trial! It's a simple civil lawsuit. A wife is bringing this case against her husband because he gambled away the $12,000 he had promised to use to remodel the kitchen for her birthday."
"Well, okay," agreed Mrs. Hunter, "I'll serve. I guess I could be wrong about capital punishment after all."

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Judge and Court Jokes

Three friends decided to go hunting together. One was a lawyer, one a doctor, and the other a preacher. As they were walking, along came a big buck. The three of them shot at the same time and the buck dropped immediately. The hunting party rushed to see how big it actually was. Upon reaching the fallen deer, they found out that it was dead but had only one bullet hole.A debate followed concerning whose buck it was. When a game warden came by, he offered to help. A few moments later, he had the answer.He said with much confidence, "The pastor shot the buck!" The friends were amazed that he could determine that so quickly and with so little examination. The game warden just smiled. "It was easy to figure out. The bullet went in one ear and out the other."

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Medical and Doctor Jokes Lawyer Jokes