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Latest Jokes

Knowledge is power, and power corrupts. So study hard and be evil.

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Motivational Jokes

Five Secrets of Successful People:1. Don't 2. Tell 3. Anyone 4. Your 5. Secrets

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Motivational Jokes

When my wife came home last Sunday afternoon to find the kitchen and living room a mess, the laundry still in a pile by the washer and me asleep on the couch having done nothing but drink вееr and watch telly all day, she yelled, “Watch yourself, Mister, or you’re going to make me do something I don’t want to do.”
I thought, “I can’t believe it - I’m going to get a fuскing вlоw job out of this!”

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Misunderstanding Jokes Masturbation jokes Beer Jokes

I told my office junior that I’d promote her if she gave me a вlоw job.
She did, so I wrote: “Samantha gives great head” on the gent’s wall.

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Office and Work Jokes Masturbation jokes

No woman ever falls in love with a man unless she has a better opinion of him than he deserves.

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Jokes about Women Men jokes Love Jokes

Love is not the number of times you kissed her, but the number of moments you were dying to kiss her.

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Love Jokes

Q: How many lightbulbs does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Depends on how clumsy you are.

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Life Jokes Light bulb jokes

Without you I can't breath.
I love you so much my nose.

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Life Jokes Love Jokes

All of the iPhone 5 jokes are just slightly improved iPhone 4 jokes.

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One-Liner Jokes Apple and iPhone Jokes

All I want for Christmas is you, lol JK, I want an iPhone 5.

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Christmas Jokes Dark Humor Jokes Apple and iPhone Jokes

Q: What's the Internet's favorite animal?
A: The lynx.

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Animal Jokes Programmer Jokes Internet Jokes

Did you know you can download the whole Tyson-Holyfield fight off the internet?
It doesn’t take much memory – just two Bytes.

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Internet Jokes Technology Jokes Sports Jokes Computer Jokes Programmer Jokes

A man returns home and find his wife with his best friend.
He takes out the gun and shoots his friend to death.
His wife:
"Listen, if you stay in such character, you will lose all your friends."

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Friendship Jokes Marriage and Family Jokes Men jokes Sick and Death Jokes

Phone a friend and tell them you're a doctor, and you're very, very sorry, but you did everything you could to save their... then pretend that the connection dropped out.
Wait a couple beats, then give your deepest condolences.
Then hang up.

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Friendship Jokes Medical and Doctor Jokes Sick and Death Jokes Phone jokes

Yo mama so fат, that when she got on the titanic, it sunk right away, and the only reason that this story is different is because the people who've told others about it were scared that she would sit on them.

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Fat Jokes Yo Momma Jokes

I decided to help in the search for the 11 year old autistic boy whose missing.
My strategy was the best way to find an autistic boy was to think like one.
Now I’m fcyking lost.

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Disability Jokes

Q. Why can’t dyslexics smell gas?
A, Because they are poor smellers and often can’t even smell their own name.

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Disability Jokes

Mother:
"Are you talking back to me?!"
Son:
"Well yeah, that's kinda how communication works."

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Office and Work Jokes Marriage and Family Jokes Communication Jokes

Rumors? Impressive b*tch at least you're spreading something else besides your legs.

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Insult Jokes

A man recently had his arm amputated and decided to кill himself by jumping off a building. When he was ready to jump, he saw a man with both arms amputated dancing around. He decided to find out why he was so happy. The man told him, “I’m not dancing. My аss is itching and I can’t scratch it!”

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Boycott Jokes Men jokes