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Latest Jokes

At a wedding rehearsal, the minister told the father of the bride,
“As you give your daughter’s hand to the bridegroom, you should say something nice to him.”
The father, a grocery-store manager, took the advice.
During the wedding ceremony, he placed the bride’s hand on his son-in-law’s arm and said.
“No deposit, no return.”

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Wedding jokes Boss Jokes

Doctor:
"Tell your wife not to worry about the slight deafness. It is only an indication of old age."
Husband:
"Doctor, would you yourself please tell this to her?"

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Jokes about Women Marriage and Family Jokes Medical and Doctor Jokes Old People Jokes

The Fire Brigade were trying to rescue an Irishman from the 10th floor of a burning building.
Fireman shouts: “Jump and we’ll catch you in this blanket!”
Irishman replies: “Fеск off, I don’t trust you, lay it on the floor!

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Irish jokes

A distraught investor called his financial advisor. “Is my money really all gone?”
He wailed. “No, no,” the advisor answered calmly. “It’s just with somebody else!”

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Money jokes Business jokes

A lady calls the police to report her husband is missing.
The police arrive and ask for a description.
She tells them he's 6 foot 2 inches tall, blonde wavy hair and has a smile that makes everybody love him.
The police then go to the next door neighbor to verify this report and the lady next door tells the police, "You can't believe her.
He's 5 foot 4 inches tall, has no hair and he wears a perpetual frown on his face."
The neighbor then goes and asks the lady why she gave the police such a false report.
She replies, "Just because I reported him missing, doesn't mean I wanted him back!"

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Blonde Jokes Men jokes Police Officer Jokes Love Jokes

In World War 2 Chuck Norris Pointed his Fingers at an enemy zero and said ВАNG, The plane burst into flames and crashed.

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Chuck Norris Jokes Military Jokes

Why shouldn't white people go swimming? Because crackers get soggy when wet.

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Ethnic and Racial Jokes

This morning I found a fly on my toilet seat. …
It was рissеd off.

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Double Meaning and Wordplay Jokes

What is a suicide bombers worst fear?
Dying alone…

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Funny Riddles Terrorist jokes

An Arkansas State trooper pulls over a pickup truck on I-40 and says to the driver, "Got any ID?" The driver says," ' Bout what?" Submitted by Curtis Edited by Calamjo

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One-Liner Jokes

"You admit having broken into the dress shop two times?" asked the judge.

"Yes," answered the suspect.

"And what did you steal?"

"A dress, your Honor," he replied.

"One dress?" echoed the judge. "But you admit breaking in twice!"

"Yes, your Honor," sighed the suspect. "I had to exchange it. My wife didn't like the color."

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Judge and Court Jokes

Signs Of Christmas Toy Store: "Но, hо, hо spoken here."
Bridal boutique: "Marry Christmas."
Outside a church: "The Original Christmas Club."
At a department store: "Big pre-Christmas sale. Come in and mangle with the crowd."
A Texas jewelry store: "Diamond tiaras - $70,000. Three for $200,000. "
A reducing salon: "24 Shaping Days until Christmas."
In a stationery store: "For the man who has everything... a calendar to remind him when payments are due."

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Christmas Jokes

How can you get AIDS from a toilet seat?
By sitting down before the last guy gets up.

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Sex Jokes

Anant to Redneck ‘you are an extremely good example of оrаl contraception.'
Redneck : how ?
Whenever you asked a girl to go to bed , she says “No”.

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Redneck jokes

I’m thinking of starting a nationwide chain of sреrм banks. (You know, those banks that take deposits and the customer loses interest.) .. I have my business model ready and a snazzy name. …
…
I’ll be calling each bank …”Get a load of this guy.”

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Funny Quotes Banker Jokes

Make sure to give your side b*tch a pencil for Valentine's day so she knows she is #2.

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Pick-Up Lines Jokes Valentine's Day Jokes

Sthi Bash is sitting in a bar drinking some alcohol.
After some couple of drinks he tries to stand up and he falls.
He crawls to the door of the bar and tries to stand up and he falls again, he crawls until he reaches the door in his house and he tries to stand but then for the third time he falls again.
He then decides to knock on the door while he is on the ground.
His wife opens the door and surprised she asks him, "Where the hеll did you leave your wheelchair?"

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Marriage and Family Jokes Drinking and Drunk Jokes Bar and Bartender Jokes

Q: If a plane crashed on the Canada/USA border, where would the survivors be buried?
A: You don't bury survivors.

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Nationality Jokes USA Jokes

A man walks into the doctors and the doctor says, "I've not seen you for a while."
The man replies, "Yes, I've been ill."

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Medical and Doctor Jokes Men jokes

Ready for the only way to enjoy Instagram? Follow zero people. Follow every dog.

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Programmer Jokes Social Network Jokes