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Computer Jokes

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A teacher goes around her class asking each of the kids what do they need at home?
1st kid says, "A computer." Teacher replies "That'd be very useful"
2nd kid says "A new lawn mower." Teacher replies with a similar response...
Little Johnny pops up and says, "At my house we don"t need anything." The teacher asks him to think again carefully as everybody needs something... Little Johnny replies, "Nope, i'm sure of it. Whenever my sister started going out with a NIGGЕR, i remember my dad saying, "Well, thats the last f*cking thing we need."
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Q: How many Apple Iphone 6 early adopters does it take to change a light bulb?
A: 3001. 1 to do the work and 3000 to go online and вiтсh about the lack of obscure features!
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IT jokes Office and Work Jokes Technology Jokes Computer Jokes Programmer Jokes Light bulb jokes Apple and iPhone Jokes Phone jokes
There are only two kinds of computer.
The latest model, and the obsolete.
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IT jokes Computer Jokes Programmer Jokes
How many electricians does it take to change a light bulb?
Three.
One to change it, and two to complain about how bad GE's customer support is.
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IT jokes Computer Jokes Programmer Jokes
Why is the Apple still reporting record profits from iPhone sales?
Because iPhone users are just as oblivious to the looming recession as they are to the people around them.
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IT jokes Computer Jokes Programmer Jokes Apple and iPhone Jokes Phone jokes
What do you call a веnт iPhone 6 plus?
A dead wringer.
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IT jokes Technology Jokes Computer Jokes Programmer Jokes Apple and iPhone Jokes
Why should you never fаrт in an apple store?
They don't have Windows!
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IT jokes Computer Jokes Fart Jokes
Every mobile phone user has complained like this:
Don't text me while I'm in the middle of texting you, because now I have to change the whole text.
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IT jokes Computer Jokes Programmer Jokes Phone jokes
Programming is like sеx.
One mistake and you have to support it for the rest of your life.
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IT jokes Computer Jokes Programmer Jokes Sex Jokes Life Jokes
What do you call an iPhone that isn't kidding around?
Dead Siri-ous.
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IT jokes Technology Jokes Computer Jokes Programmer Jokes Apple and iPhone Jokes Phone jokes
A man works in the operations department of a large bank.
Employees call him from the field when they have problems with their computers.
One night a blonde woman from a branch bank called him and said, "I've got smoke coming from the back of my computer terminal. Do you guys have a fire downtown?"
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Blonde Jokes Office and Work Jokes Technology Jokes Computer Jokes Stupid Jokes Banker Jokes
Why did the boy mouse like the girl mouse?
They just seemed to click.
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IT jokes Computer Jokes Programmer Jokes
I never thought that the Internet was very useful, but now I've changed my mind.
Let's hope your new one works better than the one you had before.
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Geek jokes Technology Jokes Computer Jokes Internet Jokes
What do you get when you try to cross a pit bull with a computer?
A lot of bites.
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Animal Jokes Computer Jokes Pet Jokes
Четирима хирурзи си почивали и пиели кафе. Four surgeons were sitting around discussing who they like to operate on. The first surgeon said, "I like operating on librarians. When you open them up everything is in alphabetical order". The second surgeon said, "I like operating on accountants. When you open them up everything is in... Tres cirujanos discuten en el bar del hospital sus experiencias sobre las operaciones. El primero dice: - A mí me gusta operar a los contables: los abres y lo tienen todo numerado. A lo que el segundo replica: - No, yo prefiero a los bibliotecarios, pues tienen todas sus partes ordenadas... Fem kiruger har kaffepause og taler lidt om, hvilke mennesker der er nemmest at operere. Den første kirug siger: "Jeg synes bedst om at operere revisorer. Alt inde i dem er nummeret" Anden kirug;... Kilku chirurgów spotkało się na przerwie obiadowej. Rozmawiają o tym, kogo najbardziej lubią operować. - Ja to bardzo lubię operować księgowych. Wszystko w środku jest ponumerowane. - Jeszcze... Hat sebész iszogat, és arról beszélgetnek, milyenek az ideális páciensek. Mondja az első: - Én a művészeket szeretem a legjobban. Amikor műtét közben felvágom őket, szinte érzem a belőlük áradó... Quattro chirurghi stanno discutendo del loro lavoro durante una pausa. Il primo dice: "Secondo me i bancari sono i più facili da operare, dentro di loro ogni cosa è numerata.” Il secondo replica:...
Four surgeons were taking a coffee break and were discussing their work.
The first said, "I think accountants are the easiest to operate on. You open them up and everything inside is numbered."
The second said, "I think librarians are the easiest to operate on. You open them up and everything inside is in alphabetical order."
The third said, "I like to operate on electricians. You open them up and everything inside is color-coded."
The fourth one said, "I like to operate on lawyers. They're heartless, spineless, gutless, and their heads and their аssеs are interchangeable."
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Medical and Doctor Jokes Office and Work Jokes Computer Jokes Programmer Jokes Lawyer Jokes Coffee Jokes
Did you hear about the monkeys who shared an Amazon account?
They were prime mates.
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IT jokes Animal Jokes Computer Jokes
"Knock, knock.Who's there?"
very long pause...
"Java."
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IT jokes Computer Jokes Programmer Jokes Knock-knock jokes
If you see the Blue Screen of Death on your laptop... it's because Chuck Norris found out you were reading Chuck Norris jokes.
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Chuck Norris Jokes Computer Jokes
I walked into the computer repair place with my broken Macintosh computer.
I looked at the stack of them on the rack and said, ‘What’s that, Broke Mac Mountain?’
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IT jokes Computer Jokes Programmer Jokes
Q: What is 001011010110101010100101010010101015 in binary?
A: A major glitch!
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IT jokes Technology Jokes Computer Jokes Programmer Jokes Geek jokes Military Jokes
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