Drug Jokes - Page 4

Yo mama so sтuрid, she thought Ewoks were just Homeless Care Bears on drugs.

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Smoke a smoke
Not a butt
Fuck a virgin
Not a sluт.

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Dirty jokes Sex Jokes Drug Jokes Vulgar jokes Funny Poems

Q: What do you call a dictionary on drugs?
A: HIGH-Definition.

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Drug Jokes Communication Jokes

Q: How do Columbians develop muscle?
A: By pushing drugs.

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Drug Jokes Fitness jokes

A police officer, though scheduled for all-night duty at the station, was relieved of duty early and arrived home four hours ahead of schedule, at 2 in the morning. Not wanting to wake his wife, he undressed in the dark, crept into the bedroom and started to climb into bed. Just then, his wife sleepily sat up and said, "Mike, dearest, would you go down to the all-night drug store on the next block and get me some aspirin? I've got a splitting headache."
"Certainly, honey," he said, and feeling his way across the dark room, he got dressed and walked over to the drug store.
As he arrived, the pharmacist looked up in surprise, "Say," said the druggist, "I know you - aren't you a policeman? Officer Fenwick, right?"
"Yeah, so?" said the officer.
"Well what the heck are you doing all dressed like the Fire Chief?"

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Police Officer Jokes Marriage and Family Jokes Drug Jokes Cheating Jokes Boss Jokes

Q: What's the difference between a hоокеr and a drug dealer?
A: A hоокеr can wash her сrаск and sell it again.

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Prostitute Jokes Jokes about Women Sex Jokes Drug Jokes What's The Difference Jokes

Everyone should stop hating on Lance Armstrong. He won 7 Toure De France's on DRUGS!
When I'm on drugs, I can't even FIND my bicycle.

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Sports Jokes Drinking and Drunk Jokes Drug Jokes

The owner of a drug store walks in to find a guy leaning heavily against a wall.
The owner asks the clerk, "What's with that guy over there by the wall?"
The clerk says, "Well, he came in here this morning to get something for his cough. I couldn't find the cough syrup, so I gave him an entire bottle of laxative."
The owner says, "You idiот! You can't treat a cough with laxatives!"
The clerk says, "Oh yeah? Look at him, he's afraid to cough!"

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Gross Jokes Drug Jokes

I bought these shoes from a drug dealer.
I don't know what he laced them with but I've been tripping all day!

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Customer service jokes Drug Jokes Bad Habits Jokes

A man went to the doctor’s office to get a double dose of Viаgrа.
The doctor told him that he couldn’t allow him a double dose.
“Why not?” asked the man.
“Because it’s not safe,” replied the doctor.
“But I need it really bad,” said the man.
“Well, why do you need it so badly?” asked the doctor.
The man said, “My girlfriend is coming into town on Friday; my ex-wife will be here on Saturday; and my wife is coming home on Sunday. Can’t you see? I must have a double dose.”
The doctor finally relented saying, “Okay, I’ll give it to you, but you have to come in on Monday morning so that I can check you to see if there are any side effects.”
On Monday, the man dragged himself in; his arm in a sling.
The doctor asked, “What happened to you?”
The man said, “No one showed up.”

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Viagra jokes Office and Work Jokes Marriage and Family Jokes Medical and Doctor Jokes Dirty jokes Men jokes Drug Jokes

Doctor to the patient: "Did I not give you the medicine yesterday? Did you take it?"
Patient: "Yes, sir. But I did not drink it."
Doctor: "Why?"
Patient (Pointing to the bottle): "Because it is written on the label: 'Close the cork tightly and keep it in a cool place.'"

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Medical and Doctor Jokes Drug Jokes

Q: How can you tell if you have smoked too much wееd?
A: You can't smoke too much wееd.

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Drug Jokes

Your mama is so short when she tried to get high she couldn't.

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Yo Momma Jokes Drug Jokes

Officer: "your eyes look red man have you been smoking wееd."
Suspect: "officer your eyes look glazed like you has had doughnuts."

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Police Officer Jokes Drug Jokes Flirt jokes

Drug test?
What kind of drugs are we testing?

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Drug Jokes

A traveling salesman rings this doorbell.
10 year old little Johnny opens, holding a вееr and smoking a fат cigar.
The salesman says, "Little boy is your mother home?"
Little Johnny taps his ash on the carpet and says, "What do you think?"

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Drinking and Drunk Jokes Little Johnny Jokes Kids Jokes Drug Jokes Fat Jokes Beer Jokes

Caitlin Jenner and her chauffer were parked on a highway.
When a policeman pulled up and asked "What's going on?"
The driver said "I blew my тrаnny."
The cop didn't know if he should arrest them for indecent exposure or call AAA.

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Drug Jokes Car and driving jokes Police Officer Jokes Travel and Tourist Jokes

A little lizard was walking through the forest to see his pal the monkey.
The monkey call out hey little buddy come up here I got some great рот.
So the little lizard climbed up the tree.
The little lizard and the monkey smoked a great big joint.
The little lizard said hey this stuff is great but I have horrible cottonmouth.
Well there is a river just down there.
So the little lizard walk down the tree through the brush and started to drink the water.
All of a sudden a crocodile came out of the water.
Hey little buddy waz up said the croc, "I just got sтоnеd with my pal the monkey."
"Really" said the croc, "where is he I want some."
He is through the brush and up the tree.
So the croc walked through the brush and to the tree.
The monkey said "holy shiт how much did you drink little buddy."

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Animal Jokes Drinking and Drunk Jokes Drug Jokes

Q: How many Irishmen does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Two - one to hold the bulb, and one to drink until the room starts spinning.

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Irish jokes Drinking and Drunk Jokes Drug Jokes Light bulb jokes

Q: How do you know when you are sтоnеd?
A: When you are too phoned to stone home.

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Weed Jokes Drug Jokes Phone jokes