Little Johnny - Page 13

Little Johnny goes to his sister's room and picks up something.
His sister tells him to give it back, she wants to keep it as a souvenir.
He asks her what it is.
She says, "it's a donut."
Then Little Johnny says, "give me fifty cents."
Johnny gives her the used соndом, and his sister gives him 50 cents.
He goes to the kitchen with a big smile on his face, and his mom asks him why he's smiling.
He says, "My sister gave me fifty cents for a donut, but I already licked out all the custard!

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Little Johnny Jokes

Johnny was playing outside when he really had to go to the bathroom.
He runs in and his grandma was about to take a shower.
He looks at her crotch and says, "Whats that?" She says:
"Well, it's a веаvеr, Johnny."
The next day the same thing happens, only his mom is taking the shower.
He says:
"Mom I know what that is. It's a веаvеr, but I think grandma's is dead because it's tongue is hanging out."

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Dirty jokes Little Johnny Jokes Animal Jokes Old People Jokes

Little Johnny: Teacher, can I go to the bathroom?
Teacher: Little Johnny, May I go to the bathroom?
Little Johnny: But I asked first!

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School Jokes Little Johnny Jokes

Little Johnny comes home from his first day of school.
His mother asks, "What did you learn in school today?"
Little Johnny replies, "Not much. They want me back tomorrow.

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School Jokes Little Johnny Jokes

Little Johnny was at school one day when the teacher asked the kids if they could use the word definitely in a sentence.
Well the first little girl raised her hand and said, "Well the trees are definitely green."
The teacher said "No not really because the trees turn yellow red and brown in the fall."
The next little boy raised his hand and said, "The sky is definitely blue."
The teacher said, "No not really because the sky can be all different colors."
From the back of the room little Johnny raised his hand and asked, "Do farts have lumps?"
The teacher said, "No Johnny of course not, that’s silly."
Then Johnny said, "Well then I definitely shiт my pants!"

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School Jokes Little Johnny Jokes Kids Jokes Fart Jokes

Little Johnny was always late for school.
When asked why he said he had to eat his popsicle.
Without thinking the teacher told him to eat half his popsicle and save the other half in his pocket.
Next day Johnny was on time.
The teacher had history class.
"What are the people in Asia called", she asked a student.
"Asians", said the student.
"What are the people in Africa called".
"Africans" said the student.
Then she asked Johnny, "What are the people in Europe called", but Johnny didn't know so the girl behind him whispered, "Euro pean."
To that Johnny said, "No I'm not, that's just my popsicle."

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Ethnic and Racial Jokes School Jokes Little Johnny Jokes Food Jokes Asian jokes Africa Jokes Europe and European Union Jokes

One day johnny's mam asks the class, "Which part of the human body goes to heaven first?"
Suzi said, "Well, it's our hands.
We do all the good things with our hand, so they are bound to go to heaven first."
Teacher says, "very good. Anybody else?"
Rocky says, "Well, it's our heart.
We think all the good things with our heart, so it's bound to go to heaven first."
Teacher says, "very good.
Do you want to say something, Johnny?"
Johnny says, "Our legs go to heaven first."
Teacher, not getting any clue says, "How comes it, Johnny?"
Johnny says, "Yesterday night, I was passing through my parent's room, & there was my mom,-legs high in the air- screaming 'Oh God!
I am сuммing'"

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Little Johnny Jokes God Jokes School Jokes

Little Johnny comes downstairs crying.
His mother asked, "What’s the matter now?"
"Dad was hanging pictures, and just hit his thumb with hammer," said little Johnny through his tears.
"That’s not so serious," soothed his mother.
"I know you are upset, but a big boy like you shouldn’t cry at something like that. Why didn’t you just laugh?"
"I did!" sobbed Johnny.

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Little Johnny Jokes Marriage and Family Jokes Dad Jokes

Little Johnny runs to his dad and says, "Dad, there's water in the carburetor of the car!"

"How can you be so sure?" the father asks.

"I just know there is," replies Little Johnny.

"Do you even know what a carburetor is?"

"No," says Little Johnny.

"OK, where is the car?"

"In the lake."

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Little Johnny Jokes Dad Jokes

Little Johnny’s teacher was grading student essays about actual family experiences. She came upon Little Johnny’s paper entitled, “The time my dad told me to jump out of the tree and he would catch me.”

Tearing up his teacher knew she’d been too hard on little Johnny for misbehaving and such. She felt terrible just knowing how hard his life must be. Not wanting to read each painful word she decided to give Little Johnny an 'A' without reading it.

Surprised to see an 'A', Johnny was quite puzzled. He thought to himself, "My teacher couldn’t have like the part when my dad caught me and told me that some people can be trusted. She must have liked the part where I stomped on his big toe and called him a wimp."

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Marriage and Family Jokes Little Johnny Jokes Dad Jokes School Jokes

Little Johnny returns from school and says:
"Mam, in school we write dirтy swear-words so often!"
"But I hope you are not writing them, my son."
"No, I'm dictating them!"

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School Jokes Marriage and Family Jokes Little Johnny Jokes

Teacher: Why are you crawling into class, John?
Littly Johny: You said, "Don't anyone dare walk into my class late!"

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School Jokes Little Johnny Jokes

Mother (to sleeping Little Johnny): "Little Johnny, wake up! It’s twenty to eight."
Little Johnny (half asleep): "In whose favor?"

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Little Johnny Jokes One-Liner Jokes

Little Johnny's class were on an outing to their local police station where they saw pictures, of the ten most wanted men, tacked to a bulletin board.
On the way out of the police station Little Johnny said to the officer, "It was so nice of you to put my daddy's picture up there."

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Police Officer Jokes Office and Work Jokes Little Johnny Jokes Men jokes Dad Jokes

Little Johnny’s 2nd grade teacher was quizzing them on the alphabet.
“Johnny,” she says, “what comes after ‘O’?”
Johnny says, “Yeah!”

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Little Johnny Jokes Kids Jokes School Jokes

On his 10th birthday, little Johnny's father took him aside. "I think you're old enough now that we should have a talk about the birds and the bees."

"No!" said little Johnny. "When I turned 6 you told me there was no Easter Bunny and when I turned 8 you told me there was no Santa Claus."

"So now if you're going to tell me adults don't have sеx, I don't wanna hear it!"

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Sex Jokes Little Johnny Jokes Christmas Jokes Easter Jokes

One day Little Johnny asks his Mum, "How come when I come in to your room you and you're on top of Daddy, you say you're making a sandwich, but after a while I come in again, you're eating a sausage?!"

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Sex Jokes Little Johnny Jokes

Ten year old Johnny rushes home from school. He invades the fridge and is scooping out some cherry vanilla ice cream when his mother enters the kitchen.
She says, “Put that away, Johnny. You can’t have ice cream now. It’s too close to supper time. Go outside and play.”
Johnny whimpers and says, “There’s no one to play with.”
Trying to placate him, she says, “OK. I’ll play with you. What do you want to play?”
He says, “I wanna play Mommie and Daddy.” Trying not to register surprise and a bit confused about what her 10 year old son was learning in school, she decided to appease him, by saying, “Fine, I’ll play. What do I do?”
Johnny says, “You go up to the bedroom and lie down.”
Figuring that she can easily control the situation, Mom goes upstairs.
Johnny, feeling a bit cocky, swaggers down the hall and opens the utility closet. He dons his fathers old fishing hat. As he starts up the stairs he notices a cigarette вuтт in the ashtray on the end table. He picks it up and slips it in the corner of his mouth. At the top of the stairs he moves to the bedroom doorway.
Really confused, and now even a bit worried, his mother raises her head and says, “What do I do now?”
In a gruff manner, Johnny says, “Get your аrsе downstairs and get that kid some ice cream!

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School Jokes Little Johnny Jokes Kids Jokes

An elementary school class goes on a field trip to the police station.
The Officer points to the 10 MOST WANTED list and tells them that these are the most wanted fugitives in the USA.
Little Boy says " He is the MOST WANTED in the USA?!" Officer says "Yes."
Little Boy asks "Why didn't you keep him when you took his picture.

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Police Officer Jokes Office and Work Jokes School Jokes Little Johnny Jokes USA Jokes

Dentist: Little Johnny, you're not brushing your teeth very well. Do you know what comes after decay?

Little Johnny: De 'L'?

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Little Johnny Jokes Friday jokes Dentist Jokes