Phone jokes - Page 6

Yo mama so fат she stepped on a weight machine and someone said "hey that's my phone number"!

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Little Johnny had finished his summer vacation and gone back to school.
Two days later his teacher phoned his mother to tell her that he was misbehaving.
“Wait a minute,” she said. “I had Johnny with me for three months and I never called you once when he misbehaved.”

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Little Johnny Jokes School Jokes Phone jokes

If he wanted to, Chuck Norris could rob a bank.
By phone.

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Chuck Norris Jokes Phone jokes Banker Jokes

Dave and Jim were a couple of drinking buddies who worked as Aircraft mechanics in Melbourne.
One day the airport was fogged in and they were stuck in the hangar with nothing to do.
Dave said, "Man, I wish we had something to drink!"
Jim says, "Me too. Y'know, I've heard you can drink jet fuel and get a buzz. You wanna try it?"
So they pour themselves a couple of glasses of high octane вооzе and get completely smashed.
The next morning Dave wakes up and is surprised at how good he feels.
In fact he feels GREAT!
NO hangover!
NO bad side effects.
Nothing!
Then the phone rings.
It's Jim.
Jim says, "Hey, how do you feel this morning?"
Dave says, "I feel great, how about you?"
Jim says, "I feel great, too. You don't have a hangover?"
Dave says, "No that jet fuel is great stuff - no hangover, nothing. We ought to do this more often."
"Yeah, well there's just one thing."
"What's that?"
"Have you farted yet?"
"No."
"Well, DON'T! 'Cause I'm in Perth!"

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Men jokes Office and Work Jokes Drinking and Drunk Jokes Aviation Jokes Australia Jokes Fart Jokes Bad Habits Jokes Phone jokes

Yo momma so nasty i had phone sеx with her and she gave me an earinfection

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Sex Jokes Yo Momma Jokes Phone jokes

There is nothing fun about a funeral, but despite that, I had a good laugh at the following reaction by my two children.
We, along with a bunch of other relatives, were following the hearse of my late great aunt.
When my daughter, who always tends to focus on the morbid things in life raised the dreaded question, "Dad, what's going to happen to us when you die?"
My son who was busy texting one of his friends at the time barely glanced up from his phone.
"We'll go in the limousine duммy."

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Dad Jokes Marriage and Family Jokes Kids Jokes Funeral jokes Sick and Death Jokes Phone jokes

I would actually use Siri if the voice sounded like Morgan Freeman.

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Celebrity and Pop Culture Jokes Computer Jokes Phone jokes

Yo mama so sтuрid, she dropped off her phone because it stopped.

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Yo Momma Jokes Stupid Jokes Phone jokes

Q: How many Apple Iphone 6 early adopters does it take to change a light bulb?
A: 3001. 1 to do the work and 3000 to go online and вiтсh about the lack of obscure features!

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IT jokes Office and Work Jokes Technology Jokes Computer Jokes Programmer Jokes Light bulb jokes Apple and iPhone Jokes Phone jokes

Why is the Apple still reporting record profits from iPhone sales?
Because iPhone users are just as oblivious to the looming recession as they are to the people around them.

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IT jokes Computer Jokes Programmer Jokes Apple and iPhone Jokes Phone jokes

Every mobile phone user has complained like this:
Don't text me while I'm in the middle of texting you, because now I have to change the whole text.

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IT jokes Computer Jokes Programmer Jokes Phone jokes

Mother: "Why was the phone busy all night?"
Babysitter: "The fire department put me on hold."

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Office and Work Jokes Communication Jokes Phone jokes

What do you call an iPhone that isn't kidding around?
Dead Siri-ous.

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IT jokes Technology Jokes Computer Jokes Programmer Jokes Apple and iPhone Jokes Phone jokes

Moody was awakened by the telephone at four A.M.
It was his Ku Klux Кlаn buddy, Crumm, calling long distance from Montgomery.
"What's the matter?" asked Moody.
"Are you in trouble?"
"No!" said Crumm.
"What do you want, then?"
"Nothing!"
"Then how come you are calling me in the middle of the night?" asked Moody.
"Cause!" said the other redneck, "the rates are cheaper!"

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Redneck jokes Money jokes Phone jokes

When I was young I had my first induction day in IT we were making an animation on scratch me and my friend decided to go on our phones.
The teacher came over and asked, "what we were doing on our phones."
I had to think fast so I said "we were researching something" she said that was alright.
Still, to this day I wonder why she didn't notice that we had computers in front of us that had the school wifi.

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School Jokes Technology Jokes Stupid Jokes Phone jokes

Q: How many hipsters can you get into a phone booth?
A: One, any more and it would be too mainstream.

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Hipster Jokes Phone jokes

A man called, furious about an Orlando, Florida, vacation package we had booked for him:
He was expecting an ocean-view hotel room.
I explained that was not possible since Orlando is in the middle of the state.
"Don't lie to me," he said. "I looked on the map, and Florida is a very thin state."

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Customer service jokes Stupid Jokes Phone jokes Hotel Jokes

Q: What do you get if you cross a fridge and a hipster playlist?
A: Cool music!

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Hipster Jokes Computer Jokes Programmer Jokes Music and Musician Jokes Apple and iPhone Jokes Phone jokes

According to Apple what is the leading cause of iphone 6 overheating?
Downloading images of Candice Swanepoel.

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Celebrity and Pop Culture Jokes Technology Jokes Computer Jokes Beauty Jokes Apple and iPhone Jokes Phone jokes

The irate customer calling the newspaper offices, loudly demanded to know where her Sunday edition was.
"Ma'am", said the employee, "today is Saturday. The Sunday paper is not delivered 'til Sunday."
There was quite a pause on the other end of the phone, followed by a ray of recognition. "So that's why no one was in church today."

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Office and Work Jokes Old People Jokes Church jokes Customer service jokes Phone jokes