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Phone jokes

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Coming home, I drove into the wrong house and collided with a tree I didn’t have.
In an attempt to кill a fly, I drove into a telephone pole.
I had been driving for 40 years when I fell asleep at the wheel and had an accident.
I collided with a stationary truck coming the other way.
I told the police I was not injured, but on removing my hat I found that I had a fractured skull.
I pulled away from the side of the road, glanced at my mother-in-law, and headed over the embankment.

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Car and driving jokes Medical and Doctor Jokes Police Officer Jokes Old People Jokes Banker Jokes Phone jokes

Why did the blonde burn her ear?
The phone rang while she was ironing!

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Blonde Jokes Phone jokes

Chuck Norris keeps a list of all his victims, it's called the phone book.

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Chuck Norris Jokes Phone jokes

What is the favorite TV show of a telephone number?
Game of Phones!

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Phone jokes

How can you tell if a bee is on the phone?
You get a buzzy signal!

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Phone jokes

How is a telephone like a dirтy bathtub?
They both have rings!

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Phone jokes

Yo mamma so sтuрid she put her iPhone in the blender and thought it would turn into apple juice.

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Yo Momma Jokes Stupid Jokes Phone jokes

What's the difference between my phone and Stephen Hawking?
When my phone dies, I actually give a fuск.

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Celebrity and Pop Culture Jokes Sick and Death Jokes Phone jokes

What do ghosts use to phone home?
A terror-phone.

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Phone jokes

It is believed dinosaurs are extinct due to a giant meteor.
That's true if you want to call Chuck Norris a giant meteor.

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Chuck Norris Jokes Phone jokes Dinosaur jokes

Chuck Norris watched the tape from The Ring.
His phone rang and when he answered a scared voice said "Excuse me, the wrong number"

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Chuck Norris Jokes Phone jokes

Q. What do prisoners use to call each other?
A. Cell phones.

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Prison Jokes Phone jokes

After a number of attempts to get the customer service agent on the phone to understand his name, my Asian American friend Appappa decided to spell it out.
"A for apple," he began. "P for pineapple, p for pineapple, a for apple, p for pineapple, p for—"
The flustered agent interrupted.
"I have a better idea," she said. "Just tell me how many apples and how many pineapples."

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Asian jokes Customer service jokes Communication Jokes Stupid Jokes Phone jokes American Jokes

A college freshman decided to try out for the football team.
"Can you tackle?" asked the coach.
"Watch this," said the freshman, who proceeded to run smack into a telephone pole, shattering it to splinters.
"Wow," said the coach. "I'm impressed.
Can you run?"
"Of course I can run," said the freshman.
He was off like a shot, and, in just over nine seconds, he had run a hundred yard dash.
"Great!" enthused the coach.
"But can you pass a football?"
The freshman hesitated for a few seconds.
"Well, sir," he said,
"If I can swallow it, I can probably pass it."

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Sports Jokes College jokes Soccer Jokes Phone jokes

When Chuck Norris calls 911 it's to ask if everything is ok.

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Chuck Norris Jokes Phone jokes

Chuck Norris puts phone companies on hold.

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Chuck Norris Jokes Phone jokes

Pavlov walks into a bar.
The phone rings, and he says,
"Dамn, I forgot to feed the dog."

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Animal Jokes Bar and Bartender Jokes Phone jokes

Why do blondes always die before help arrives?
They always forget the "11" in "9-1-1".

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Blonde Jokes Stupid Jokes Phone jokes

Chuck Norris was about to die... until the Grim Reaper phoned in sick.

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Chuck Norris Jokes Sick and Death Jokes Phone jokes

When Jim was playing on his phone, my grandfather told him, “You use way too much technology!”. Jim then said, “No, YOU use too much technology!” and then Jim disconnected his grandfather’s life support.

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Phone jokes Grandparent Jokes