Political Joke

Q: How many Republicans does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Three. One to hire a Mexican guy and two to deport him when he's done.

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Q: Did you hear that the White House isn't displaying it's Nativity scene this year?
A: They couldn't find the three wise men!

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Republican jokes Insult Jokes Men jokes Political Jokes Stupid Jokes

The difference between the short and long income tax forms is simple.
If you use the short form, the government gets your money.
If you use the long form, the tax advisor gets your money.

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Political Jokes Money jokes

President George W. Bush decides it is time to do some public relations at a local Washington DC nursing home.
The President begins his "tour" down the main hallway and passes by a little old man who doesn't seem to notice him.
Sensing this, President Bush backtracks to the resident and asks, "Do you know who I am?"
The little old man looks up from his walker and says, "No, but if you go to the front desk, they will tell you your name."

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Old People Jokes Men jokes Political Jokes American Presidents Humor

If we aren't supposed to eat animals, why are they made of meat?
Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.
A closed mouth gathers no feet.
A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance.
A penny saved is ridiculous.
All that glitters has a high refractive index.
Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy.
Anarchy is better than no government at all.
Any small object when dropped will hide under a larger object.
Death is life's way of telling you you've been fired.

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Political Jokes

Two crocodiles were sitting at the side of the river Thames in London...
The smaller one turned to the вiggеr one and said,
"I can't understand how you can be so much вiggеr than me. We're the same age, we were the same size as kids... I just don't get it"......
''Well,' said the big Croc, What have you been eating"...?
"Politicians, same as you", replied the small Croc, 'And I can tell you how I catch them in the car park next to Parliament.....
I crawl up under one of their posh cars and wait for one to unlock the car door. Then I jump out, grab them by the leg, shake the shiт out of them, and eat 'em!'
'Ah!' says the big Crocodile, 'I think I see your problem. You're not getting any real nourishment. See by the time you finish shaking the shiт out of a politician, there's nothing left but an аrsеhоlе and a briefcase...

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Political Jokes Kids Jokes Animal Jokes Lawyer Jokes

What's the difference between a politician and a flying pig?
The letter F!

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Political Jokes Celebrity and Pop Culture Jokes Animal Jokes Donald Trump Jokes What's The Difference Jokes

Donald Trump and Vladimir Putin are having dinner.
Trump orders a steak, and Putin orders the roast duck.
The waiter, however, gets their plates mixed up.
Trump does not wait, but rather just starts digging in.
"Wow," Putin says. "Your hands make my duck look вiggеr."

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Political Jokes Food Jokes Animal Jokes Communication Jokes American Presidents Humor

Chuck Norris grabs Donald Trump by the рussy.

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Chuck Norris Jokes Dirty jokes Political Jokes American Presidents Humor

Yo mama so fат even Donald Trump can't make as big of a wall as her.

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Yo Momma Jokes Political Jokes Fat Jokes American Presidents Humor

One day Diск Cheney, George Bush and Laura Bush were in a private jet going to France.
Then, George Bush said, " If i throw this hundred dollar bill off this jet I'll make one person happy!"
Then Diск Cheney said, " Man if i throw ten, ten dollar bills down, I'll make ten people happy!"
Then Laura Bush said, " If I throw one hundred one dollar bills off this jet I'll make a hundred people happy."
Then the pilot said, " Man, if I throw these 3 losers outta this jet, I'll make six billion people happy."

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Political Jokes Men jokes Aviation Jokes Travel and Tourist Jokes Military Jokes Pilot Jokes American Presidents Humor

Russian President Putin called President George W. Bush with an emergency:
"Our largest соndом factory has exploded," the Russian President cried.
"My people's favorite form of birth control. This is a true disaster!"
"Mr. Putin, the American people would be happy to do anything within their power to help you," replied the President.
"I do need your help" said Putin. "Could you possibly send 1,000,000 condoms as soon as possible to tide us over?"
"Why certainly! I'll get right on it,"said Bush.
"Oh, and one more small favor, please?" said Putin.
"Yes?"
"Could the condoms be red in color and at least 10" long and 4" in diameter?" said Putin.
"No problem," replied the President.
Mr. Putin hung up and started laughing with his aides about how those sтuрid Americans will fall for anything.
George hung up and called the President of a соndом company. "I need a favor, you've got to send 1,000,000 condoms right away over to Russia."
"Consider it done," said the president of the соndом company.
"Great! Now listen, they have to be red in color, 10" long and 4" wide."
"Easily done. Anything else?"
"Yeah," said the President, "print 'Made in America, size small' on each one!"

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USA Jokes Sex Jokes Political Jokes Russian Jokes Sarcasm Jokes American Jokes American Presidents Humor

Starbucks is offering a new drink to honor Nancy Pelosi.
They call it the "fullacrapuccino".

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Business jokes Food Jokes Political Jokes Democrat jokes Customer service jokes

Q: What is the difference between Election day and Thanksgiving day?
A: On Thanksgiving, you get a turkey for the day; on Election day, you get a turkey for four years.

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Thanksgiving Jokes Food Jokes Ethnic and Racial Jokes Political Jokes

Q: What do you get when you cross a pilgrim with a democrat?
A: A god-fearing tax collector who gives thanks for what other people have.

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Democrat jokes Money jokes God Jokes Political Jokes Tax jokes

Why did Osama Bin Laden кill his wife?
When she spread her legs he saw bush.

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Dark Humor Jokes Military Jokes Political Jokes American Presidents Humor

Dentist's Hymn: Crown Him with Many Crowns
Weatherman's Hymn: There Shall Be Showers of Blessings
Contractor's Hymn: The Church's One Foundation
Tailor's Hymn: Holy, Holy, Holy
Golfer's Hymn: There's a Green Hill Far Away
Politician's Hymn: Standing on the Promises
Optometrist's Hymn: Open My Eyes That I Might See
IRS Agent's Hymn: I Surrender All
Gossip's Hymn: Pass It On
Electrician's Hymn: Send The Light
Shopper's Hymn: Sweet By and By
Realtor's Hymn: I've Got a Mansion, Just Over the Hilltop
Massage Therapist's Hymn: He Touched Me
Doctor's Hymn: The Great Physician

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Medical and Doctor Jokes Religion jokes God Jokes Political Jokes Dentist Jokes

Yo mama so old she had a wedding picture with George Washington.

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Yo Momma Jokes Old People Jokes Wedding jokes Political Jokes

Q: How do you know that Democrats are a diverse people?
A: Because they keep count of how many people they know in each racial or ethnic category.

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Democrat jokes Political Jokes

The buzzword of this election is "CHANGE."
Candidates toss it around without saying what they want to change to.
Just that we need CHANGE!
This brings to mind the following illustration...
Years ago, there was an old tale in the Marine Corps about a lieutenant who inspected his Marines and told the "Gunny" that they smelled bad.
The lieutenant suggested that they change their underwear.
The "Gunny" responded, "Aye, aye, sir. I'll see to it immediately."
He went into the tent and said, "The lieutenant thinks you guys smell bad, and he wants you to change your underwear. Smith, you change with Jones, McCarthy, you change with Witkowski, Brown, you change with Schultz..."
"Change, now get on with it!"
And the moral is: A candidate may promise change in Washington... but the stink remains!

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Military Jokes Political Jokes Communication Jokes