Women - Page 27

Son: "Mommy why doesn't Gandhi have hair?"
Mom: "Because he never lies."
Son: "Ohh now I see why ladies have long hair."

0 0

A very fат woman comes into a store and tells the clerk,
"I would like to see a bikini that fits me."
Clerk, "me too..."

37 0

Jokes about Women Men vs Women Jokes Fat Jokes

One day a young teen was in a church for the first time and he got a seat net to a not-so-good-looking woman.
The pastor was preaching and he said: "Tell your neighbour how beautiful they are" and the boy stood up and said pastor "How can you expect me to lie in a church?"

35 0

Kids Jokes Jokes about Women Church jokes Beauty Jokes

Kamasutra says:
If you suск one niррlе, the women herself offers the other one.
And that was the origin of "buy one get one free"!

37 0

Dirty jokes Jokes about Women Money jokes Sex Jokes Business jokes

A guy asks a Chinese lady for her phone number she says, "Free, sеx, free, sеx, tonight."
The guy said," wow" and her friend says she means 363629.

37 0

Sex Jokes Jokes about Women Friendship Jokes Asian jokes Communication Jokes Phone jokes

One day a man and woman were in their bedroom making love. All of a sudden a bumble bee entered the bedroom window. As the lady parted her legs, the bee entered her vаginа. The woman started screaming, "Oh my god, help me, there's a bee in my vаginа!" The husband immediately took her to the local doctor and explained the situation. The doctor thought for a moment and said "Hmm, tricky situation. But I have a solution to the problem if young sir would permit." The husband being very concerned agreed that the doctor could use whatever method to get the bee out of his wife's vаginа. The doctor said "Okay, what I'm going to do is rub some honey over the tip of my реnis and insert it into your wife's vаginа. When I feel the bee getting closer to the tip of my реnis, I shall withdraw it and the bee should hopefully follow my реnis out of your wife's vаginа. The husband nodded and gave his approval. The lady said, "Yes, whatever, just get on with it." So the doctor, after covering the tip of his реnis with honey, entered the woman. After a few gentle strokes, the doctor said, "I don't think the bee has noticed the honey yet. Perhaps I should try further." The lady began to quiver with excitement, moaning aloud. The doctor, concentrating very hard, looked like he was enjoying himself. The husband became very annoyed and shouted, "Now wait a minute! What the hеll do you think you're doing?" The doctor, still concentrating, replied, "Change of plan. I'm gonna drown the ваsтаrd!"

0 0

Sex Jokes Jokes about Women God Jokes Medical and Doctor Jokes Animal Jokes Men jokes Love Jokes

A mathematician and an engineer agreed to take part in an experiment.
They were both placed in a room and at the other end was a beautiful nакеd woman on a bed.
The experimenter said every 30 seconds they would be allowed to travel half the distance between themselves and the woman.
The mathematician said "this is pointless" and stormed off.
The engineer agreed to go ahead with the experiment anyway.
The mathematician exclaimed on his way out "don't you see, you'll never actually reach her?".
To which the engineer replied, "so what? Pretty soon I'll be close enough for all practical purposes!"

38 0

Science jokes Jokes about Women Math Jokes

3 things which change women:
1) I love U
2) I liquidated to your account
3) U have lost weight
The last one had been some fatalities!

72 0

Men vs Women Jokes Jokes about Women Money jokes Love Jokes

Boyfriend: Do you think my salary is sufficient for you?
Girlfriend: It’s sufficient for me but how will you survive?

37 0

Relationship Jokes Jokes about Women

GOD said, "Adam, I want you to do something for me."
"Gladly, Lord," replied Adam.
"What do you want me to do?"
"Go down into the valley."
"What's a valley?" asked Adam.
God explained to him, then said, Cross the river."
"What's a river?"
God explained it to him, and then continued, "Go over the hill".
"What's a hill?"
God explained to Adam what a hill was, then said, "On the other side of the hill, you will find a cave."
"What's a cave?"
After God explained, he said, "In the cave you will find a woman."
Adam asked, "What's a woman?"
So God explained that to him too. He continued, "I want you to reproduce."
"How do I do that?"
"Jeez," God muttered under his breath. He then sighed and explained the birds and the bees to Adam. He
liked that concept very much, so he went down into the valley, across the river, over the hill and into the
cave where he found a woman."
A little while later, Adam returned and asked God, "What's a headache?"

37 0

Religion jokes Jokes about Women God Jokes Medical and Doctor Jokes Sex Jokes

A woman asked her lover, "Would you keep fuск me that much even after marriage?
He replied, "Sure dear, if your husband had no objection."

38 0

Dirty jokes Jokes about Women Marriage and Family Jokes

If the Earth turned 30 times faster, we would get salary every day, but women would bleed to death...

37 0

Jokes about Women Sick and Death Jokes

In the supermarket was a man pushing a cart which contained a screaming, bellowing baby.
The gentleman kept repeating softly, “Don’t get excited, Albert; don’t scream, Albert; don’t yell, Albert; keep calm, Albert.”
A woman standing next to him said, “You certainly are to be commended for trying to soothe your son, Albert.”
The man looked at her and said, “Lady, I’m Albert.”

37 0

Parent Jokes Jokes about Women Kids Jokes Men jokes Baby Jokes

Q: Why did the girl spread peanut butter on the road?
A: To go with the traffic jam!

74 0

Jokes about Women Car and driving jokes Food Jokes

An ugly bloke walks into a pub with a huge grin on his face.
"What are you so happy about ?" asks the landlord.
"Well, I live by the railway and on my way home last night I noticed a woman tied to the tracks. I cut her free and we shagged all night !"
"Did you get a вlоw job ?" asks the landlord.
"No ..." he says, "I never found the head."

37 0

Gross Jokes Jokes about Women Dirty jokes

A woman heads to the doctors office for her usual checkup.
While there, the doc notices a strange rash on her chest in the shape of an H and inquires about it, "Oh, my boyfriend likes to wear his Harvard sweater during sеx."
The next day, another woman comes in, for a checkup.
While there, the doctor notices a strange rash on her chest in the shape of a Y and inquires about it,"Oh, my boyfriend is really into wearing his Yale sweater during sеx."
The next day, another woman comes in, again, for a simple checkup.
This woman too has a rash on her chest, and the doctor, catching on with the trend, asks,"So, Does your boyfriend go to Wisconsin?"
The girl replies, "Nah, but my girlfriend goes to Michigan."

37 0

Sex Jokes Jokes about Women Office and Work Jokes Medical and Doctor Jokes Dirty jokes

A middle aged woman was driving through a school zone when a policeman pulled her over for speeding.
As he was giving her the ticket, she said, “How come I always get a ticket and everyone else gets a warning?
Is it my face?”
“No, ma’am,” explained the officer, “it’s your foot.”

21 0

Police Officer Jokes Jokes about Women Office and Work Jokes School Jokes

A Koala and a Prostitiute had just finished having sеx, so the Рrоsтiтuте said, "All right, now give me my money!"
The Koala replied, "Money, what for?"
"What for?", the Рrоsтiтuте growled,
"Look up Рrоsтiтuте in the dictionary and read what it says."
So the Koala looked up рrоsтiтuте in the dictionary.
It said, "Рrоsтiтuте- A woman who is paid to have sеx."
" Okay," said the Koala, " now you look up Koala in the dictionary, and read what it says."
So the Рrоsтiтuте looked up Koala in the dictionary.
It said, "Koala- A furry animal who eats bush, then leaves."

37 0

Animal Jokes Jokes about Women Money jokes Sex Jokes American Presidents Humor

Q: A smart blond, Santa and a pregnant woman are on an elevator.
A twenty-dollar bill lies on the ground.
Who picks it up?
A: The pregnant woman... the other two aren't real!

37 0

Blonde Jokes Jokes about Women Pregnancy Jokes

Why do women love Hunters the best as lovers?
1. Hunters have the longest and most powerful rifles.
2. Hunters always....shoot twice.
3. Hunters love to...eat what they shoot!

37 0

Hunting Jokes Jokes about Women Love Jokes