School Jokes

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Chuck Norris didn't go to school to learn, he went to teach.

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A Sunday School teacher asked her class why Joseph and Mary took Jesus with them to Jerusalem.
Little Johnny replied: "They couldn't get a baby sitter."

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One day, a young boy was asked by his teacher to tell him what the chemical formula for water was.
The boy replied with "H-I-J-K-L-M-N-O".
The Teacher was stunned. "That's not right, how did you come up with that?"
The boy said, "Last week you said it was H2O!"

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A student called her best friend and said that she had some great news.
“The teacher told me that we had to do a test today in rain or shine,” she told her.
“Why is that great,” her friend asked.
“It’s snowing today!”

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Chuck Norris has heard the actual voice of Charlie Brown's teacher...

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Why did the teacher jump into the lake?
Because she wanted to test the waters!

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What do you call a school bus full of black people?
A rotten banana.

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The absent-minded teacher paused to chat awhile with one of her students, then asked,
"Which way was I going when I stopped to talk to you?"
"That way", the student pointed.
"Good," said the teacher, "then I've had my lunch."

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Teacher: Can you tell me where Napoleon came from? Pupil: Course I can. Teacher: Very good.

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What did the music teacher need a ladder for?
To reach the top notes.

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You are so old, you sat next to Jesus in school.

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„And, Johnny? How did your school report turn out?“ asks mother .
„Come on mom, the most important thing is that I’m healthy!“

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There are three 6th grade girls: a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead.
Which one has the biggest тiтs?
The blonde.... She's 18.

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Hunter: What has given Mr. Bubbles nightmares since elementary school?
Josh: Beats me.
Hunter: Pop quizzes!

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When a teacher closes his eyes, why should it remind him of an empty classroom?
Because there are no pupils to see!

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Stevie: Hey, Mom, I got a hundred in school today!
Mom: That’s great. What in?
Stevie: A 40 in Reading and a 60 in Spelling.

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Corpsalicious!
One day a medical professor and his class were standing over a corpse and the professor said, ''There are two things to being a medical forensicist. First: Don't fear anything.''
After saying that, the professor shoved his middle finger up the corpse's аnus and licked it. He then told the class to do the same. After hesitating, they all did it.
''Next,'' the professor said, ''you have to have a key observation finger. Thus, I licked my index finger.''

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"Some plants," said the teacher, "have the prefix 'dog'. For instance, there is the dogrose, the dogwood, the dogviolet. Now name another plant prefixed by 'dog'."
"I can," shouted a blonde. "Collieflower!"

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