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A foreign man came to America not knowing a word of English and right away began looking for a job. He became a chorus teacher and learned to say, ¨Mi-mi-mi-mi-mi!¨ After that he joined the Army and learned to say, ¨Yes sir!¨ After that he worked at a restaurant and learned to say, ¨Forks and knives, forks and knives!¨ After that he worked at a candy store and picked up the words, ¨Goody-goody gumdrops!¨ A few weeks later, there was a мurdеr in the area and he was the first person to be interrogated by the police. The interrogation went as follows:
Policeman: Who killed the man?
Foreign man: Mi-mi-mi-mi-mi!
Policeman: Did you кill the man?
Foreign man: Yes sir!
Policeman: What did you use to кill him:
Foreign man: Forks and knives, forks and knives!
Policeman: You´re under arrest.
Foreign man: Goody-goody gumdrops!
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Yo momma is so black, she got marked absent at night school.
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White people don't shoot each other in the streets like black people do.
We do it in schools, because we have class.
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When I was little I would pray to Jesus every night for him to get me a new bike, I learned one week in Sunday school that that’s not how it works, so instead i just stole one and asked him for forgiveness.
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When I die I'm going to donate my body to science.
That's the only way I'll ever get into medical school.
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Someone keyed the music teacher’s car
Fortunately, the damage seems to B minor
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I asked my math teacher why 6 was afraid of 7.
She replied, “Approximately 0.3583679495453”.
I stared at her, confused. Seeing my confusion, she added, “You know, cos (789)”
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I don't mind the Chinese students in my Math class being really good at the subject
But I must say, it's pretty cocky of them to do the problems with their eyes closed.
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What did the student say after learning all the symbols on the periodic table?
“Fluorine-Uranium-Carbon-Potassium this! Never again!”
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I never knew the kid at School had Autism, I always just thought he was walking into cobwebs
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I spent four years at college and didn’t learn anything…
It’s really my own fault. I had a double major in psychology and reverse psychology.
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Teacher: You cant be here after school without a parent!
Orphan:
- No response-
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Why cant orphans do homework?
They dont have a home to do it at.
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Queue is Just Q followed by 4 Silent letters
Teacher: Queue is Just Q followed by 4 Silent letters
Me: They aren't Silent, They are waiting their turn
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I got voted “Least Likely To Succeed” by my high school class...
I hate being a teacher...
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Student: Are well and actually both one syllable words
Teacher: Well yes , but actually no
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Your Mama's so fат that when she went to school she sat next to the whole class!
Your Mama's so fат that when she went to school she sat next to the whole class!
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