Friendship Jokes

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Bubba was bragging to his boss one day, "You know, I know everyone there is to know. Just name someone, anyone, and I know them."
Tired of his boasting, his boss called his bluff, "OK, Bubba how about Tom Cruise?"
"Sure, yes, Tom and I are old friends, and I can prove it. "
So Bubba and his boss fly out to Hollywood and knock on Tom Cruise's door, and sure enough, Tom Cruise shouts, "Bubba! Great to see you! You and your friend come right in and join me for lunch!"
Although impressed, Bubba's boss is still skeptical.
After they leave Cruise's house, he tells Bubba that he thinks Bubba's knowing Cruise was just lucky.
"No, no, just name anyone else," Bubba says.
"President Clinton," his boss quickly retorts.
"Yes," Bubba says,
"I know him, let's fly out to Washington."
And off they go.
At the White House, Clinton spots Bubba on the tour and motions him and his boss over, saying, "Bubba, what a surprise, I was just on my way to a meeting, but you and your friend come on in and let's have a cup of coffee first and catch up."
Well, the boss is very shaken by now, but still not totally convinced.
After they leave the White house grounds, he expresses his doubts to Bubba, who again implores him to name anyone else.
"The Pope," his boss replies.
"Sure!" says Bubba.
"My folks are from Poland, and I've known the Pope a long time."
So off they fly to Rome.
Bubba and his boss are assembled with the masses in Vatican Square when Bubba says,
"This will never work. I can't catch the Pope's eye among all these people. Tell you what, I know all the guards so let me just go upstairs and I'll come out on the balcony with the Pope." And he disappears into the crowd headed toward the Vatican.
Sure enough, half an hour later Bubba emerges with the Pope on the balcony.
But by the time Bubba returns, he finds that his boss has had a heart attack and is surrounded by paramedics.
Working his way to his boss' side, Bubba asks him, "What happened?"
His boss looks up and says,
"I was doing fine until you and the Pope came out on the balcony and the man next to me said,
"Who's that on the balcony with Bubba?"
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A guy named Benny is sitting in a bar mouthing off that he knows everybody.
So his buddy bets $10 the next person to walk in the bar didn't know him.
Somebody walks in the bar and says "Hey Benny what's up?"
So the guy then bets him $100 he doesn't know the first person they see outside walking down the street.
So they go outside and see some coming up to the bar and says "Hey Benny how are things going?".
Flustered the guy bets him $500 he doesn't know the President.
So they drive up to the white house and the security guard says "Benny you know you can't just show up here like this."
Then a limo pulls up with the president in it and he rolls down the window and says "Hey Benny how have you been?"
So then he bets him $1000 he doesn't know the Pope.
So they take a plane down to Rome and he says" Ok now watch up there on that balcony I'm gonna come out there with the Pope."
So he goes up there and looks down to see his friend pass out.
He goes down there and says "Are you that surprised that I know the Pope?" he goes
"No somebody walked behind me and said who's that guy up there with Benny!"
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Eдин човек всяка вечер ходел в един и същи бар и винаги си поръчвал по четири големи уискита, изпивал ги, а след това си тръгвал.
A guy walks into a bar and asks for three beers.
The bartender puts them up and then watches the guy go through a peculiar ritual.
"Happy Birthday, Happy Birthday, happy birthday" Each time he says the word he drinks the вееr. Then he pays and walks out.
One year later he enters the bar again and orders the same thing.
The bartender watches him go through the same ritual.
Curious, he asks the bloke why.
"Well" the guy says, "I have a friend in Ireland and a friend in Australia.
We have our birthdays on the same day.
We can't be together so we have agreed that on this day we will each go into our local pub and have a round of drinks for each other.
We have been doing this for 55 years since we were 18"
The next year the man comes in and asks the bartender for two beers.
The bartender, a bit taken aback, places two beers in front of the guy and watches him say "happy birthday, happy birthday!"
The bartender asks "so which one died?"
"No one."
"But you only ordered two drinks!"
"Yeah, well, I've given up drinking."
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Die Wunderlampe На един самотен остров останали три блондинки. Търговски представител, администатор и управител на една фирма отишли да обядват заедно. A blonde, a brunette and a redhead were stuck on an island for many, many years until one day they found a magic lamp. They rubbed it hard and out popped a genie. He said that he could only give three wishes so since there were three girls, each... Three men stranded on an island. They were walking across the sand when they came across a magic lamp; they rubbed the lamp and out came a genie. The genie said "you have three wishes but make it... Están tres náufragos solos en una isla desierta y se encuentran una lámpara maravillosa. El genio les dice que les va a conceder un deseo a cada uno. El primero dice: - Deseo irme con mi familia y... Eran tres hombres en una isla desierta, y de pronto se encuentran una lámpara mágica, y los tres hombres la frotan, de pronto sale el genio de la lámpara y les dice a los tres hombres que les va a... Three guys are stuck on a deserted island when one of them finds a lamp on the beach. He picks it up and gives it a little rub and a genie pop out. The genie looks at the three guys and says: "I... Esto son tres amigas que se encuentran en una isla desierta, una es morena, otra pelirroja y la otra rubia y se encuentran una lampara y una de ellas dice: - Yo he oído que si se frota sale un...
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