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Gross Jokes

Newest jokes in this category
If you think you have shiттy job, what if you were toilet paper!
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Office and Work Jokes Gross Jokes
Yo Mama so hairy, when she shaved her legs, your dad thought she got a new carpet.
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Gross Jokes Yo Momma Jokes Ugly Jokes
A third grade teacher asked her students to, one by one, stand in front of the class and tell what their Daddy's do. Little Mary went first, “My daddy is a doctor and he saves people's lives”
“That's wonderful Mary. Now how about you Jane, what does your daddy do?”
“My daddy is a lawyer and he puts bad people in jail,” says Jane “Very good Jane. Ok Johnny, what does your daddy do?”
“My daddy is dead” says Johnny “Oh, I'm very sorry to hear that Johnny,” said the teacher, “what did he do before he died?”
“He turned blue and shiт on the carpet”
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Gross Jokes School Jokes Medical and Doctor Jokes Lawyer Jokes
You would think that taking off a snail's shell would make it move faster, but it actually just makes it more sluggish.
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Gross Jokes Animal Jokes Travel and Tourist Jokes
The fingers of my girlfriend were in my pants;
I asked her "Is it thick?"
She said "yes dear."
Again I asked: "Is it warm?"
She replied: "yes honey."
Then I asked: "Is it soft?"
She said, "yes of course."
"It is my shiт!" I told her.
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Gross Jokes Dirty jokes Sex Jokes Relationship Jokes Mean Jokes Communication Jokes
What's worse than 11 dead babies stapled to a tree?
1 dead baby stapled to 11 trees.
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Gross Jokes Morbid jokes Dead baby jokes
Friend 1:
"I like my women how I like my milk."
Friend 2:
"What? White?"
Friend 1:
"No, expired."
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Gross Jokes Marriage and Family Jokes Friendship Jokes Communication Jokes White people jokes
Q: What's the difference between racist jokes and kids with cancer?
A: They never get old.
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Gross Jokes Kids Jokes Ethnic and Racial Jokes Old People Jokes Black People Jokes
Q: Did you hear about the redneck who was shooting craps?
A: He blew a hole in the toilet.
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Gross Jokes Redneck jokes
Yo mama so dамn short, she uses salt shaker as a toilet.
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Gross Jokes Yo Momma Jokes Stupid Jokes
Two guys narrowly escaped from a sinking ship on a life raft and discovered a magic lamp tucked away in a dark cranny.
Figuring what the hеll, one of the men gave the lamp a rub and "рооf," a cloud of smoke.
A second later, a genie appeared and said, "I will grant each of you one wish."
After thinking a while, the first man turned to the genie and said, "I wish I were floating on an ocean of вееr."
The genie granted the man's wish and disappeared.
The man's companion turned to him and said, "Way to go idiот. Now we have to рее in the boat."
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Gross Jokes Drinking and Drunk Jokes Genie jokes Beer Jokes
Why don't little girls fаrт?
Because they don't have аsshоlеs until they're married.
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Gross Jokes Marriage and Family Jokes Sex Jokes Fart Jokes
An Englishman, a Scotsman and an Irishman are wandering through the desert, hungry and hallucinating, when they come upon a rotting, dead camel.
"Well," said the Englishman. "I support the Liverpool football club, so I'll eat the liver."
"I support the Hearts club," said the Scotsman. "I'll eat the heart."
"I support Arsenal," said the Irishman. "But I seem to have lost my appetite."
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Gross Jokes Scottish Jokes Soccer Jokes
How do you make a woman yell twice?
Hump her вuтт then wipe your wiener on her curtains!
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При секс, мъжът може да накара жената да вика в продължение на три часа, като си го избърше в пердето Викање She's a Screamer How can you make a gay man scream twice? Fudge him real hard. Then wipe your dick off on his curtains. - ¿Perdone señor, esto es para una encuesta, su mujer grita cuando hacen el amor?. El Italiano dice: - Anoche yo le hice masajes a mi mujer en todo el cuerpo con un aceite de oliva finísimo, luego; hicimos el amor apasionados y la hice gritar durante 5 minutos seguidos, sin... Разговаривают два мужика. Один - другому: Savez-vous comment faire crier une femme deux fois de suite en lui faisant l’amour ? Comment faire crier encore une fois une femme après l'amour ? Il suffit d'essuyer son sexe aux rideaux. Στην κουρτίνα... Η γυναίκα σου φωνάζει.... Come si fa a far urlare due volte di seguito una casalinga italiana? Ci si fa l’amore focosamente e poi … ci si asciuga l’uccello sulle tende! Como se deixa uma mulher totalmente louca depois do sexo? É limpar seu pinto na cortina!!! Jak doprowadzić do tego, żeby kobieta po stosunku jeszcze przez godzinę krzyczała ? - Wytrzeć fiuta firanką. Co zrobić żeby kobieta jeszcze długo krzyczała po stosunku? - Wytrzeć ptaszka o firankę. Een vraag voor de mannen: Weten jullie waar zich de baarmoeder bij een vrouw in het lichaam bevindt ? Antwoord: Direct links als je binnenkomt. En weten jullie hoever je de schaamlippen van een... Hoe laat je je vrouw 2 keer hard gillen? Neuk haar eerst in der kont en smeer daarna je lul aan de gordijnen af. Skrig for mig Hvordan for man en kvinde til at skrige to gange? – Først boller man hende i røven og bagefter tørre man den af i hendes gardin Hvordan få kona til å skrike to ganger i løpet av en hyrdestund? - Først tar du henne knallhardt bakfra. Deretter bruker du gardinene til å tørke med...
Jokes about Women Gross Jokes Men vs Women Jokes Dirty jokes Sex Jokes
Q: Why did the gаy man get fired from his job at the sреrм bank?
A: Drinking on the job.
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Мъж с маска и автомат влиза в сграда с надпис "Банка": Отпуштање Влегува тип со маска на глава во банка: Отвори сефот да не те отепам мори и немој да си помислила нешто! Ама господине да ви кажам ова не е банка... Доста мори отварај сефот или готова си! Ама... Yo' Mama Is So Stupid... Sperm Bank A guy walks into a sperm donor bank wearing a ski mask and holding a gun. He goes up to the nurse and demands her to open the sperm bank vault. This guy goes into a Sperm Bank with a gun and a ski mask and yells at the receptionist to open the safe. She's confused, thinking this is the world's dumbest criminal. "Sir, this is a sperm bank, we don't have money in here! That safe is full of donated sperm samples!" The robber screams for her... One day a woman was working at a sperm bank when an armed and masked robber bursts in demanding money. The woman has no money and says"sir you do realize this is a sperm bank right?" the man... ¿Por qué le hecharon a un maricón de un banco de semen? -¡Por beber en el trabajo! ¿Por qué un gay que trabajaba en un banco de semen fue despedido? Por beber en el trabajo ночная смена в лабе спермабанка. сидит одна лаборантка на... Ein maskierter Mann stürmt in eine Samenbank und hält der Frau am Empfang ein Waffe an den Kopf. Darauf die Frau: "Verzeihen sie, aber sie müssen sich geirrt haben, wir sind kein Geldinstitut, wir sind eine Samenbank." "Nein!", sagte der Maskierte, "ich bin hier richtig! Gehen sie sofort zu ihrem... Deine Mutter wird bei der Samenbank gefeuert, weil sie während der Arbeit trinkt. Deux potes gays discutent. L'un d'eux dit : Un homme rentre cagoulé et armé dans la banque du sperme Il pointe la femme à l'accueil avec son arme et dit: "je veux que vous buviez tout les flacons devant vous" La femme s'exécute afin de sauver sa vie puis lorsqu'elle fini le braqueur dit: "tu vois chérie quand tu veux" Mon pote gay vient de se faire licencier de son poste à la banque du sperme. Apparemment il buvait au travail... Un type est devant une banque... Il se cagoule sort son flingue et entre pour agresser la standardiste. Il lui dit : - Mène moi au coffre sinon je te tue ! Elle s'exécute, lui ouvre le coffre et... Ξανθιά απολυμένη Ληστεία στην τράπεζα Ληστεία. Un uomo mascherato piomba in una Banca dello Sperma impugnando una grossa pistola: “Fermi tutti”, e poi rivolto ad una infermiera: “Lei, apra la cassaforte”. “Ma guardi che questa e’ una Banca... Spotyka się dwóch gejów: - Co słychać? - A wiesz... Zwolnili mnie z roboty. - Gdzie pracowałeś? - W banku spermy. - A za co Cię wywalili? - Piłem w pracy. Varför fick bögen sparken från sperma banken? Han drack på jobbet - Har du hört om bögen som jobbade på spermabanken? - ??? - Han fick sparken för att han drack på jobbet. Det var en gång en kille som fick sparken från arbetet på Spermabanken. Orsaken var att han drack på jobbet… Een gemaskerde overvaller stormt een bank binnen. Hij richt zijn pistool op de vrouw achter de balie en roept : 'Doe de kluis open, snel!'. 'Maar meneer....' stamelt de vrouw, 'dit is geen gewone... Har du hørt om homsen som fikk sparken fra sædbanken? - Han drakk på jobben... Hørt om blondinen som jobbet i sædbanken og fikk sparken? - Hun ble tatt i å drikke på jobb... Miksi blondi sai potkut spermapankista? Jäi kiinni töissä ryyppäämisestä. Un tip intra intr-o Banca de sperma, purtind o masca si un pistol. Se duce la asistenta si-i spune sa deschida Seiful. - Dar, domnule, asta-i o banca de sperma! - Nu ma intereseaza, deschide-l... Chlap v černé kukle a se samopalem v ruce vběhne do spermabanky. Vystřelí dávku do stropu a zařve: „Všichni k zemi!” Vyplašená úřednice jenom vykoktá: „Ale to jste se spletl, banka je vedle, tady...
Office and Work Jokes Gross Jokes Men jokes Gay and Lesbian Jokes Banker Jokes
I am a dog
And you are a flower.
I lift my leg up
And give you a shower.
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Gross Jokes Animal Jokes Funny Poems
A girl was a рrоsтiтuте, but she did not want her grandma to know.
One day the police raided a whole group of prostitutes at a sеx party in a hotel and she was among them.
The police took them outside and had all the prostitutes line up along the driveway.
Suddenly the girl's grandma came by and saw her.
"Why are you standing in line, dear?" she asked.
Not willing to let her grandma know the truth, the girl told her that the policemen were passing out free oranges.
"Why, that is awfully nice of them! I think I'll get some for myself," said the grandma.
A policeman went down the line, asking for information from all of the prostitutes.
When he got to Grandma, he exclaimed, "Wow, still going at it at your age? How do you do it?"
Grandma replied, "Oh, it's easy, dear. I just take out my dentures and suск them dry!"
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Gross Jokes Partying and Bad Behavior Jokes Marriage and Family Jokes Sex Jokes Police Officer Jokes Prostitute Jokes Hotel Jokes
What has 2 arms, 3 legs, and 4 feet?
The finish line at the Boston Marathon.
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Gross Jokes Sports Jokes Dark Humor Jokes Morbid jokes
Little Johnny walks into his parent's room one night to find them having sеx.
"Mom? What are you doing?" he asks his mom.
"Making a cake" his mom replies.
Later that week, Little Johnny walks asks his mom in the car "Were you and daddy making a cake on the couch" he asks.
"Yeah. Why?" his mom asks, confused and worried.
"Because I licked the icing off the couch! It was delicious!" he responded.
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Gross Jokes Little Johnny Jokes Dirty jokes Sex Jokes Parent Jokes Communication Jokes
Imagine, there are on the bus only 5 persons:
A busman, an old woman, two younger women and one man.
The old woman comes to the busman and tells him:
"Dear busman, would you like to eat a few hazelnuts?"
The busman says:
"Yes, why not?"
He takes the hazelnuts from her hand and eats them.
This repeats even two times, but when the old woman offers other hazelnuts to the busman for the fourth time, the busman asks this old woman:
"Madame, where do you take all these hazelnuts from? It is a real amount and I am already full."
The old woman only says:
"You know, dear busman, I have bought the chocolate with hazelnuts, the hazelnuts are very hard for my dental plate, so I have suскеd them all out, brought it to you and you have already eaten them all."
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Gross Jokes Food Jokes Old People Jokes Dentist Jokes Chocolate Jokes
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