Gross jokes, Disgusting jokes

Q: How did Captain Hook die?
A: He wiped his вuм with the wrong hand.

70 0

I don't like the term "аnаl bleaching".
I prefer "changing your ringtone."

69 0

Dirty jokes Gross Jokes Communication Jokes

Why was the соndом flying through the air?
It got рissеd off.

68 0

Gross Jokes

Little Johnny: "I've рiss may I go out?"
Teacher : "Рiss is an impolite word instead you say I've number 1."
Jimmy: "May I go out? I want to shiт."
Teacher: "Shiт is also a bad word it is better to use number 2 instead."
Ronald: "There is a wind in my belly give me please a number for it."

67 0

School Jokes Gross Jokes Kids Jokes Vulgar jokes Communication Jokes

Two skunks observed a deer hunter sneaking through the woods with a rifle.
"I hope he's not going to shoot at us," said one skunk.
The second skunk bowed his head and said, "Let us spray."

66 0

Hunting Jokes Gross Jokes Animal Jokes

- You've got a hole in your head.
- You always hang around with two nuts.
- Your closest neighbor is an a**hole.
- Your best friend is a рussy.
- Every time you get excited, you throw up.

66 0

Gross Jokes Dirty jokes

After a recent football game, the team went into the locker room to get out of their uniforms and to shower.
In the showers, Bubba noticed that Duke has a cork shoved up his вuтт-hole.
So, Bubba asked,
"Duke, why in the world do you have a cork up your вuтт?"
Duke answered, "Last night when I was cleaning my antique brass lamps, a genie came out of one of them. The genie said that I had one wish. I was really startled and I replied, "No shiт!"

66 0

Gross Jokes Genie jokes Soccer Jokes Communication Jokes

A sexology professor announced that if any man over 50 eats 2 or 3 dates with a raw garlic clove he never fails in sеx problems.
This prescription makes his diск strong and heathy.
There is only one side effect.
That diet causes he blows many farts daily!

64 0

Gross Jokes Dirty jokes Sex Jokes Dating Jokes Fart Jokes Diet and Weight Loss Jokes

I got into an embarrassing situation at a swingers' party last night.
I snuck up behind an older lady, started fuскing her from behind then looked up and suddenly realized that the guy at the other end of the spitroast, getting a вlоwjов, was my dad. I said, "After 30 years of marriage I can't believe you're being unfaithful to mum."
He said, "I'm not."

63 0

Gross Jokes Sex Jokes

Once upon a time, there was a very happy, long-married couple who ran a small farm.
They loved each other and all, there was just one problem – the guy farted incredibly, and enjoyed ripping seriously loud ones in bed especially.
The wife complained for years, pleaded – in vain.
"One day, you'll spill your guts out, you mark my words!" was the lady's frequent closing warning.
Then one Thanksgiving morning, gutting the turkey, she had a sтrоке of genius.
She took all the turkey's guts and went to their bedroom and quietly slipped them under the still sleeping man's covers.
"That'll teach him!" she thought with satisfaction and went back to her work.
At 10 the man was still nowhere to be seen – quite shocking for a farmer – and she was starting to worry when finally her husband came down – walking a little strange, wearing an even stranger expression.
"You were right about the farting, Ida," he panted, "I'm ashamed to admit that I did fаrт my guts out. But with the help of our Lord and these two fingers, all is right again!"

63 0

Thanksgiving Jokes Gross Jokes Fart Jokes Couple jokes

Q: Why did the bald man cut holes in his pockets?
A: He wanted to run his fingers through his hair.

63 0

Gross Jokes

Q: How do you know a blonde just lost her virginity?
A: The crayons are still sticky.

62 0

Blonde Jokes Gross Jokes Dirty jokes Sex Jokes

Five liters of bean soup for dinner – let´s spend the night with the gas mask!

61 0

Gross Jokes Food Jokes Fart Jokes

A little old man who's hard of hearing goes to see the doctor. As he can't hear very well, he takes his wife with him.
The doctor examines the man and then says,
"Hmm, I think we need to take a stool sample, a urinе sample and a sреrм sample."
The old man turns to his wife and asks, "What did he say?"
The wife replies,
"He said he wants your underwear."

61 0

Gross Jokes Dirty jokes Old People Jokes

If there are two people in an elevator and one of them farts everybody knows who did it.

60 0

Gross Jokes Fart Jokes

Little cowboy runs into a Bar shouting angerly "WHO's the lousy varmint that painted my horse green?"
A big cowboy sidles up to him and says "I DID.. want to complain to me?"
"No," says the little guy "just wanted you to know that the first coat is dry!"

59 0

Cowboys and Indians Jokes Gross Jokes Animal Jokes Dirty jokes Bar and Bartender Jokes

Him: "I'm going to come and see you, I don't care about the gas prices or anything I'm coming to no matter what."
Her: "Aw okay, I'm going to get ready."
Him: "I love you, I can't wait to see you, I'm getting ready to leave."
Her: "Okay honey, I'm on my period, just letting you know."
Him: "My car just blew up, I can't come see you."
Her: "Get your friend to bring you, he always does."
Him: "He got shot I can't come, sorry."
Her: "Never mind I'm not on my period, my раnтiеs are just red."
Him: "My boy said he is okay, he's going to take me, I'm going."
Her: "I'm really on my period."
Him: "Dамn! He got shot again..."

59 0

Gross Jokes Friendship Jokes Relationship Jokes Communication Jokes Love Jokes

Knock knock.
Who's there?
Urine.
Urine who?
Urine trouble if you don't open the door.

58 0

Gross Jokes Knock-knock jokes

That moment when you notice that one fork isn't really very clean when you're laying the table and you have to decide which family member you like the least.

58 0

Gross Jokes Marriage and Family Jokes Food Jokes Dirty jokes

A redneck family shares one vehicle, the daughter asks her dad for the truck.
The father says "okay, you know what to do."
Then continues to lower his pants, the daughter says "daddy why's there shiт on your diск."
The father then replies "ohhhh, that's right honey, your brother has the truck."

58 1

Redneck jokes Sex Jokes Car and driving jokes Gross Jokes Marriage and Family Jokes