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Math Jokes

Newest jokes in this category
Not all math puns are bad
Just sum
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Math Jokes
Why was Нiтlеr bad at math?
He could only count to nein.
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Math Jokes
A mathematician stumbles home drunк at 3 a. M. and his wife is livid. “You swore that you’d be home by 11:45!”
“No,” slurs the mathematician, “I said I’d be home by a quarter of 12.”
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Math Jokes
Lying in bed, my girlfriend turned to me and said
"You're a lot like a math exam."
I replied "Why? Because I'm long and hard?"
She said,
"No, I'm cheating on you with an Asian."
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Asian jokes Math Jokes Cheating Jokes
If i got 50 cents for every failed math exam,
I'd have $ 6.30 now
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Math Jokes One-Liner Jokes
A white guy, a black guy, an Indian, an Asian women and a girl in a wheel chair walk into a bar
They are celebrating being on the cover of a middle school math book
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Asian jokes Math Jokes School Jokes Cowboys and Indians Jokes
My daughter has a math test on Roman numerals.
I told her I hope she gets a "C".
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Math Jokes
So I was in math class when the teacher asked me what comes after 69.
Apparently, "I do." is not the correct answer.
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Math Jokes School Jokes
Blocked & repoted
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Math Jokes
Alcohol and calculus don't mix... Don't drink and Derive.
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Drinking and Drunk Jokes Calculus jokes Math Jokes
Johnny, if you had 5$ and you asked your father for 3$ more, how many dollars would you have?
I would have five dollars...
You don't know your arithmetic, Johnny...
You don't know my father, Mrs. Mutch...
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Little Johnny Jokes School Jokes Money jokes Marriage and Family Jokes Math Jokes
A biologist, a chemist, and a statistician are out hunting.
The biologist shoots at a deer and misses five feet to the left.
The chemist takes a shot and misses five feet to the right.
The statistician yells, "We got 'em!”
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Science jokes Hunting Jokes Math Jokes Chemistry Jokes Nerd jokes
Teacher: If 1+1=2 and 2+2=4, what is 4+4?
Pupil: That's not fair! You answer the easy ones and leave us with the hard one!
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Kids Jokes School Jokes Math Jokes
A redneck family's only son returns home from college. The father asks, "Well son, you done gone to college, so you must be perty smart. Why don't you speak some math fer' us?"
The son says, "Pi R squared."
The father yells, "Why son, they ain't teached ya nothin'! Pies are round, cornbread are square."
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Redneck jokes Money jokes Marriage and Family Jokes Blue Collar Jokes Dad Jokes Math Jokes
Q: Why is the math book always upset?
A: Because it has a lot of problems.
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School Jokes Kids Jokes Math Jokes
Confucious say, ''There are three kinds of people in the world:
Those who can count - and those who can't.''
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Конфуции каза: Es gibt drei Arten von Mathematikern. Die, die zählen können und die, die nicht zählen können.
News and Politics Jokes Office and Work Jokes Men jokes One-Liner Jokes Accountant Jokes Math Jokes
Geek Воотy Call... Math:
How about we add a bed, subtract our clothes, divide your legs and multiply?
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Two rednecks, Bubba and Соотеr, decided that they weren't going anywhere in life and thought they should go to college to get ahead.
Bubba goes in first, and the professor advises him to take math, history and logic.
"What's logic?" asked Bubba.
The professor answered, "Let me give you an example. Do you own a wееd-whacker?"
"I sure do," answered the redneck.
"Then I can assume, using logic, that you have a yard," replied the professor.
"That's real good," the redneck responded in awe.
The professor continued, "Logic will also tell me that since you have a yard, you also have a house."
Impressed, the redneck shouted, "AMAZING!"
"And since you own a house, logic dictates that you have a wife."
"Betty Mae! This is incredible!"
"Finally, since you have a wife, logically I can assume that you are heterosexual," said the professor.
"You're absolutely right! Why, that's the most fascinating thing I ever heard of! I can't wait to take this here logic class."
Bubba, proud of the new world opening up to him, walked back into the hallway where Соотеr waswaiting.
"So, what classes are ya takin?" he asks.
"Math, history and logic," replies Bubba.
Cooter asks, "What's logic?"
"Let me give you an example. Do ya own a wееd-eater?"
"No."
"You're gаy, ain't ya?"
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Blue Collar Jokes Math Jokes
Q: What did one math book say to the other?
A: Don't bother me I've got my own problems!
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Science jokes Men jokes Math Jokes
A soccer coach walked into the locker room before a game, looked over to his star player and said:
"I'm not supposed to let you play since you failed math, but we need you in there.
So, what I have to do is ask you a math question, and if you get it right, you can play."
The player agreed, and the coach looked into his eyes intently and asks:
"Okay, now concentrate hard and tell me the answer to this. What is two plus two?"
The player thought for a moment and then he answered:
"I think... no... yes... I’m not sure... what about 4?"
"Did you say 4?" the smiled coach exclaimed, excited that he got it right.
At that, all the other players on the team began screaming:
"Come on coach, give him another chance!"
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