Women - Page 72

I want me a big black girl...
the type of woman that sits in the car and it looks like it's got tinted windows.

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A woman asks the pharmacist if he sells extra-large condoms.The pharmacist replies, "Yes, would you like to buy some?"
The woman says, "No, but do you mind if I stand here and wait to see if anyone buys a box?"

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Jokes about Women

Q: What's the difference between a реnis and a paycheck?
A: You don't have to beg your wife to вlоw your paycheck.

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Money jokes Jokes about Women One-Liner Jokes

Q: What's six inches long, two inches wide and thrills women?
A: Money.

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Money jokes Jokes about Women Sexist Jokes

Q: Why was the blonde's bellybutton bruised?
A: Her husband was a blonde, too.

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Men vs Women Jokes Jokes about Women Blonde Jokes Men jokes Sex Jokes Stupid Jokes

What is six inches long with a head on it, that women like to вlоw?
MONEY.

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Men vs Women Jokes Jokes about Women Money jokes

Woman:
Can I get Viаgrа here? Pharmacist: Yes. Woman: Can I get it over the counter? Pharmacist: If you give me two of them, you can.

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Men vs Women Jokes Jokes about Women Boycott Jokes Viagra jokes

A redneck couple gets married and are on their honeymoon. The woman changes into a sеxy outfit and lies on the bed. She looks sheepishly up at her new hubby and whispers, "Please be gentle with me. I'm a virgin."
The man gets up screaming, grabs his trousers and runs home to tell his father.
His father comforts him by saying, "Now, now. It'll be okay, son. If she wasn't good enough for her own family, then she isn't good enough for ours."

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Redneck jokes Jokes about Women Marriage and Family Jokes Blue Collar Jokes Men jokes

Q: What do the female reindeer do when Santa takes the male reindeer out on Christmas Eve?
A: They go to town and вlоw a couple of bucks.

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Men vs Women Jokes Jokes about Women Men jokes Christmas Jokes Holiday Jokes

A hillbilly is sitting in a bar, drinking, when a woman sidles up next to him. "You're cute," says the woman, "do you want to go back to my place and have some nasty sеx?"
"You bet!'' exclaims the hillbilly, "But I have to tell you, I'm a virgin. I've always been scared because my mom told me that women have sharp teeth between their legs, and sometimes they bite."
"Don't worry," the woman says, and the two head back to her place, where she strips and shows the hillbilly her private parts. "Now, does it look like I have teeth down there?" she asks.
"How could you possible have teeth down there?" he says, "Look at the shape your gums are in."

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Men vs Women Jokes Jokes about Women Blue Collar Jokes Sex Jokes Military Jokes

Two cowboys lean against the rail at their favorite bar and rate women as they go by.
A beautiful brunette passes. The first cowboy says, "I'll give her a 3." The other cowboy nods.
Next, a hot redhead walks by. The second cowboy looks her up and down and says to the first cowboy, "Well, I think that one must be a 4." The first cowboy nods.
Finally, a drop-dead gorgeous blonde approaches. The cowboys straighten up and tip their hats back a little for a better look. The first cowboy smiles real wide and says, "Dамn! That one has GOT to be a 6." The second cowboy nods.
Overhearing this, the woman turns around sharply and looks the first cowboy in the eye, "I'll have you know, I've been rated far higher than that by far better men than YOU."
And the second cowboy says, "But, ma'am, you don't understand - we use a different kind a rating system. We use the equestrian method."
Taken aback, she asks, "What the hеll is the equestrian method?"
The first cowboy smiles and says slowly, "Well ma'am, that's how many Clydesdales it would take to pull you off my face."

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Men vs Women Jokes Jokes about Women Blue Collar Jokes Blonde Jokes Men jokes Cowboys and Indians Jokes

Q: What do you call a woman with no a**hole?
A: Divorced.

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Marriage and Family Jokes Jokes about Women Men jokes Life Jokes

When she was like 17 or 18 years old, she won a beauty contest back in Pennsylvania.
She ran like three miles a day; she jogged; she swam six, seven miles a day. She was in really good shape, and she won a beauty contest. She was a good-looking woman. Now, she's 93 years old and really let herself go.

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Looking Good Jokes Jokes about Women Old People Jokes

Q: Did you hear about the blonde who had two chances to get pregnant?
A: She blew it both times.

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Insult Jokes Jokes about Women Sex Jokes Blonde Jokes

How many psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb?
One, but it really has to want to change.

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Medical and Doctor Jokes Jokes about Women Asian jokes Light bulb jokes Psychology and Psychiatry Jokes

A husband and wife entered the dentist's office. The husband said, "I want a tooth pulled. I don't want gas or Novocain because I'm in a terrible rush. Just pull the tooth as quickly as possible."
"You're a brave man," said the dentist. "Now, show me which tooth it is."
The husband turns to his wife and says, "Open your mouth and show the dentist which tooth it is, dear."

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Medical and Doctor Jokes Jokes about Women Office and Work Jokes Marriage and Family Jokes Men jokes Dentist Jokes

1) You've ever had to lug a paint can to the top of a water tower to defend your sister's honor.
2) Your wife's hairdo has ever been destroyed by a ceiling fаn. 3) You go to your family reunion to pick up women. 4) Your richest relative buys a new house - and you have to help him take the wheels off it. 5) You think a six-pack and a bug zapper is quality entertainment. 6) Your family tree does not fork. 7) You've ever been too drunк to fish. 8) You've lost more than two teeth opening вееr bottles. 9) You helped your cousin move his refrigerator - and the grass underneath it has turned yellow. 10) You owe the taxidermist more than your annual income.

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Blue Collar Jokes Jokes about Women Marriage and Family Jokes Beer Jokes

Two West Virginia hicks get married and spend their honeymoon in a local motel. Right before they consummate the marriage, the women says, "Be gentle, I'm a virgin."
The man is visibly upset and storms off to his family's home. He tells them what happened and his dad says, "If she isn't good enough for her own family, she sure as hеll isn't good enough for you!"

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Blue Collar Jokes Jokes about Women Marriage and Family Jokes Men jokes Dad Jokes

A cowboy was riding through an old abandoned canyon trail when he was captured by a group of ruthless banditos intent on killing him. In their drunkenness, they decided to go easy on him and grant him three requests.
For his first, he asked for his horse. He whispered something to his horse, who then rode off and returned with a beautiful woman. The cowboy spent the night with the woman.
The same thing happened the second day. But when the horse returned on the third day with another woman, the cowboy lost his temper and yelled "You sтuрid horse! I said 'posse!'"

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A beautiful woman loves to garden, but can't seem to get her tomatoes to turn red. She asks her neighbor, "What do you do to get your tomatoes red?"
He replies, "Twice a day I stand in front of my tomato garden and expose myself. My tomatoes turn red from blushing so much."
The woman decides to do the same thing. So twice a day for two weeks she exposes herself to the garden. Her neighbor asks, "How did it go? Did you tomatoes turn red?"
"No," she replies, "but my cucumbers are enormous."

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Blue Collar Jokes Jokes about Women