Women - Page 74

A woman goes to the doctor with a black eye, and really lookind rough. the doc says,
"What happened?" the woman replies,
"Everytime my husband goes out and gets drunк on вееr he beats me when he gets home." the doc thinks for a minute and says,
"I have a remedy for that... the next time your husband comes home drunк on вееr just make yourself a glass of iced tea, and swish it around in your mouth until he goes to bed." the woman goes home. two weeks later she returns to her doctor. the doc says,
"You look great, did you try my advice?" the woman replies,
"Yes i did, but how did you know it would work?" he tells her "see what happens when you keep your mouth shut for a change?"

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A young man excitedly tells his mother he's fallen in love and is going to get married. He says, "Just for fun, Ma, I'm going to bring over three women and you try and guess which one I'm going to marry." The mother agrees. The next day, he brings three beautiful women into the house and sits them down on the couch and they chat for a while. He then says, "Okay, Ma. Guess which one I'm going to marry." She immediately replies, "The red-head in the middle."
Stunned, the young man says, "That's amazing, Ma. You're right. How did you know?"
"I don't like her," she says.

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Marriage and Family Jokes Jokes about Women Men jokes

Men are proof that women can take a joke.

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Men jokes Jokes about Women Men vs Women Jokes One-Liner Jokes

A man siting at a bar asked a pretty woman sitting next to him, Excuse me, but can I smell your рussy?"
"Get away from me, you pervert," she replied. "Oh, I'm sorry," exclaims the man, "It must be your feet."

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Boycott Jokes Jokes about Women Insult Jokes Men jokes

A woman broke up with me and sent me pictures of her and her new boyfriend in bed together. Solution? I sent them to her dad

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Dad Jokes Jokes about Women Dirty jokes

I have a theory that women don't fаrт, they hold it in until it comes out as drama.

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Jokes about Women

Real country music is lying on the floor with that bottle of Jack Daniel's by your side 'cause a woman's gone and walked across your heart like a Samoan man in golf shoes.

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Blue Collar Jokes Jokes about Women Men jokes

Three guys are skydiving and the first guy throws a brick out the window, the second guy throws a stone out the window, and the third guy throws a grenade out the window. When they land they decide to go walk into town, so they are walking down the street until they see a woman crying. The first guy asks, "Whats wrong?" The woman says, "A brick fell out the sky and killed my cat." So they continue down the street then see a young boy crying. The second guy asks, "Whats wrong?" The boy said that a stone fell out of the sky and killed his dog. They continue down the road until they see the man laughing his аss off. The third guy asks, "Whats so funny?" The man says, "I веnт down to pick up my news paper and I farted and my house blew up."

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Men jokes Jokes about Women News and Politics Jokes

What every guy should look for in a woman; Sеxy, adventurous, nice, dedicated, witty, interesting, charming, and honest.... in short S.A.N.D.W.I.C.H.

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Jokes about Women

A fат woman just served me at McDonalds. She said, "Sorry about the wait." I responded, "Don't worry, you'll lose that eventually."

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Fat Jokes Jokes about Women

How long does it take for a black women to take a сrар?
9 months

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Ethnic and Racial Jokes Jokes about Women Dark Humor Jokes Black People Jokes

What's easier to pick up, the heavier it gets?
Women.

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Sexist Jokes Jokes about Women

When asked if they would have sеx with Bill Clinton, 86% of women in D.C. said, "Not again."

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Political Jokes Jokes about Women Sex Jokes American Presidents Humor

A teacher asks her class, "If there are 5 birds sitting on a fence and you shoot one of them, how many will be left?" She calls on little Johnny.
"None, they all fly away with the first gunshot."
The teacher replies, "The correct answer is 4, but I like your thinking."
Then Little Johnny says,
"I have a question for YOU.There are three women sitting on a bench having ice cream. One is delicately licking the sides of the triple scoop of ice cream. The second is gobbling down the top and suскing the cone. The third is biting off the top of the ice cream. Which one is married?"
The teacher, blushing a great deal, replies,
"Well I suppose the one that's gobbled down the top and suскеd the cone."
"The correct answer is the one with the wedding ring on...
.....but I like your thinking."

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Little Johnny Jokes Jokes about Women Marriage and Family Jokes School Jokes

A woman at work is gonna have a baby...Â I just haven't decided which one."

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Jokes about Women Office and Work Jokes

Two friends die. One goes to Heaven and the other goes to Неll. The one that goes to Heaven begs the angel to let him visit his friend in Неll, and the angel agrees. He gets to Неll and sees his friend surrounded by beautiful women and alcohol everywhere. He says to his friend, "Wow, you were a son of a вiтсh when we were alive! Неll looks better than Heaven." So the friend in Неll says, "Pour yourself a glass of wine." The heavenly friend pours the wine, and notices that the glass has no bottom. The good friend looks at the bad one in confusion, and the bad friend says, "The glass has no bottom, and neither do the girls. Welcome to Неll."

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Drinking and Drunk Jokes Jokes about Women Sex Jokes Friendship Jokes Wine jokes

Women might be able to fake оrgаsмs. But men can fake a whole relationship.

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Men jokes Jokes about Women Relationship Jokes

A blonde sits down in a bar next to a redhead. Both of them are having a good time when the news comes on the TV. The woman reporter shouts out 'This just in! A man Is at the edge of a cliff attempting to jump' The redhead leans over to the blonde and whispers, 'I bet you $50 that the man's gonna jump.' The blonde responds 'You're on.'
So, both of the women stare at the news waiting to find out what happens next. Finally, the man jumps. The blonde turns to the redhead and hands her the $50. The redhead, feeling guilty, says 'I can't take that money. I saw the news earlier this morning. I knew he was going to jump off the cliff.' The blonde says, 'Well, I saw too. But I never wouls have thought that he'd do it again.'

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Blonde Jokes Jokes about Women News and Politics Jokes Money jokes Men jokes

A guy gets pulled over by a female cop.
He said, " I wasn't aware the kitchen had a speed limit."

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One-Liner Jokes Jokes about Women

A man walks into a bar, he asks for two shots the bar tender says to him we have a deal going on right now. The man replys whats the deal man? the bar tender says to him if you can drink this half gallon of whiskey in five minutes and keep it down for another five minutes, then go out back and pull the angry alligators tooth out and then lastly up stairs is a woman who has never had an оrgаsiм if you give her one and do the other two things in that order you can eat and drink here for free forever. The man said that sounds tough but I will try it any way so he chugs the whiskey drinks it in time and keep it down then goes out back about twenty minutes go by the people in the bar hear screaming and just pure pain the man walks back into the bar all tore up bleeding stumbling drunк and what not and looks over at the bar tender and says now where is that woman who needs her tooth pulled.

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Men jokes Jokes about Women Drinking and Drunk Jokes