Chuck Norris

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Chuck Norris can convert kilograms into centimeters.

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When Chuck Norris logged in to WoW, everyone logged out.

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Chuck Norris has only used the 'Total Gym' twice in his life.
When his eyes are open - and when they are closed.

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Chuck Norris doesn't m*sturbate, he r*pes his hand.

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Chuch Norris stood next to a bear and was told he had to leave because the bear was scared.

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When Chuck Norris kills time, that'll be the end of it.

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Chuck Norris was banned from the Olympics because his mere presence is considered a performance-enhancing substance.

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Chuck Norris' Motto is:
"The beard is mightier than the sword."

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Chuck Norris can travel through time by running 88 miles per hour.

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Chuck Norris makes his own Girl Scout cookies using real Girl Scouts.

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When you sneeze, it means someone is thinking badly of you.
When you have a seizure and pass out, it means Chuck Norris is thinking badly

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Chuck Norris invented his own brand of media disc.
The Black and Blueray.

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Chuck Norris can have his cake and eat yours too.

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One man said he got his вuтт whooped by Chuck Norris twice but he lied, because everyone knows you couldn't survive it once.

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Chuck Norris does not need pressure cookers.
The food cooks itself out of pressure.

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Chuck Norris doesn't teach his kicks.
They speak for themselves.

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Chuck Norris can check his pulse by same hand.

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How far can you spit.
Try to beat Chuck Norris if you ask how far can he spit, at night look at the moon and don't wonder from were the craters come.

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