Chuck Norris

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Chuck Norris once shook a pirates hand.
That pirate is now known as Captain Hook

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If Chuck Norris appears in your dream, don't panic, he is only looking for Freddy Krueger.

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Everybody loves Raymond. Except for Chuck Norris.

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Charlie Sheen winning?
Chuck Norris says "I think not."

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Bruce Wayne first tried wearing a Chuck Norris mask to inspire fear, until he saw himself in the mirror.
He immediately changed to the Batman

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Harry Potter needs 8 movies to seek and destroy Voldemort.
Chuck Norris needs 4 seconds.

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When Chuck Norris goes to donate blood, he declines the syringe, and instead requests a hand gun and a bucket.

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Chuck Norris's 1st Grade teacher asked him how many stars there were on the American Flag.
Chuck Norris replied "Yes." and was correct.

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Usually when kids go to sleep they sleep with a teddy bear...
Chuck Norris sleeps with an actual bear

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Chuck Norris can't be racist, because to him there are no people, just light and dark targets.

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President Roosevelt once rode his horse 100 miles. Chuck Norris carried his the same distance in half the time.

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In a tagteam match, Chuck Norris was teamed with Hulk Hogan against King Kong Bundy and Andre The Giant. He pinned all 3 at the same time.

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Most people put their pants on one leg at a time, Chuck Norris does both legs at once.

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Chuck Norris has a pet kitten - every night for a snack.

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Chuck Norris can make snow angels on a concrete slab.

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Chuck Norris kicked Neo out of Zion , now Neo is "The Two."

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Lightning doesn't strike Chuck Norris, chuck norris strikes lightning!

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There is no such things as a tornado.
Just Chuck Norris proving that ballet ain't that hard.

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