Jokes about Cowboys and Indians

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A cowboy was leading a flock of sheep down Main Street when he was ordered to stop by the town policeman.
“What’s wrong?” the cowboy asked. “I was just heading my ewes into a side street.”
“That’s the trouble,” the policeman replied. “No ewe turns permitted on Main Street!”

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Chuck Norris once rode a bull, and nine months later it had a calf.

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Q: If a cowboy rides into town on Friday, and three days later, he leaves on Friday, how does he do it?
A: The horse's name is Friday.

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Q: What kind of candy do Indians give out on Halloween?
A: Dots.

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An Indian and an African walk into a bar...
Just jokin'.
It's just two liberal white women.

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There were two church-going women gossiping in front of the store when a dusty old cowboy rode up.
He tied up in front of the saloon, walked around behind his horse, lifted its tail and kissed the horse full on its rестuм.
Repulsed, one of the women asked, "That's disgusting, why did you do THAT?"
To which the cowboy replied, "I've got chapped lips."
Confused, the women continued, "Does that make them feel better?"
"No, but it stops me from licking them!"

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What does a squid sheriff form?
An octoposse.

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T he sheriff of the small Kansas town pulled over a Porsche that was doing 75 miles per hour in a 35-mile an hour zone.
The man behind the wheel, a Chicago commodities trader, was steaming. When he was finally brought before the local magistrate, he exploded, “I can’t believe you stopped me. This town must be the аsshоlе of the world!”
The magistrate looked at him and replied, “And you must be what’s passing through.”

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Three guys all think that their wives are cheating on them.
The first guy thinks his wife is sсrеwing a plumber because he found a тооl belt under his bed.
The second guy thinks his wife is sсrеwing a judge because he found a robe and gavel under his bed.
The third guy says, "That's nothing! I came home and found a cowboy under my bed. I can't believe my wife is sсrеwing a horse."

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A lady went into a bar in Austin and saw a cowboy with his feet propped up on a table.
He had the biggest feet she'd ever seen.
The woman asked the cowboy if it's true what they say about men with big feet.
The cowboy grinned and said, "Shore is, little lady!
Why don't you come on out to the bunk house and let me prove it to you?"
The woman wanted to find out for herself, so she spent the night with him. The next morning she handed him a $100 bill.
Blushing, he said, "Well, thank ya Ma'am.
I'm real flattered.
Ain't nobody ever paid me fer mah services before."
"The woman replied, "Don't be flattered ...take the money and buy yourself some boots that fit."

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What is the definition of "derange"?
De place where de cowboys ride.

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What do you call a take-out low-calorie meal for a cowboy?
A Saddle Light Dish.

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Yo momma’s so fат, when she auditioned for a part in Indiana Jones she got the part of the big rolling ball.

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Why did the ваrеваск performer ride his horse?
Because it got too heavy to carry.

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Q: Where do cowboys cook their meals?
A: On the range.

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Chuck Norris' indian name is "He who can kick your аss anytime anywhere"

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Chuck Norris’ cowboy boots are made of real cowboys!

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Three guys are stranded on a island; black guy, white guy, and a Mexican. They come across a Indian tribe, the chief said" go into the forest and pick a fruit and bring it back. We are going to shove it up your аss, if you scream we will cut off your head".
The white guy goes in and brings back a banana they shove it up his аss he screamed soo they cut off his head.
The Mexican goes in and comes back with a grape they shove it up his аss he screams. They all look at his and ask" why you scream?"
The Mexican says "because the black guy is coming back with a watermelon."

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