At the New York Zoo, a little boy felt the urge to feed his banana to a big gorilla there.
His mother didn’t allow it.
The boy started to cry, and made his mother to change her mind.
Proudly, the boy goes near the gorilla with the banana and as he was about to give it away, the gorilla grabbed him and was prepared to eat him.
Crying and shouting, the boy tries to escape, but even his mother stood still in the sight of it.
Suddenly, something sounded like a hum up in the air... It was Superman!
Superman rescued the child!
The crowd relieved applauses.
The Media arrived at that point, and the reporters started interviewing Superman.
"Which newspaper are you from?" Superman asked to one of them.
"New York Times."
"You can ask me now." Superman said.
"Were you scared while saving the kid?"
"Yes, but it doesn’t matter to me. I want to help other human beings, no matter the cost."
To the next reporter:
"Which newspaper are you from?
"Herald Tribute. Which are your beliefs about children?"
"I believe that children are the future of our world and that we should, all of us protect them from evil."
The third reporter:
"Which newspaper are you from?"
"Risebroker"
(Rizospastis, a Greek newspaper)
"To you, you dамnеd communist, I’m not saying a word!"
Next Day, Newspapers write in their FrontPage:
New York Times – Superman, the abnegation and human sасrifiсе standard!
Herald Tribute – Superman, the defender and children Savior!
Risebroker – Superman, Propagandist, right winged fascist, deprives food from South-African immigrant!
At a restaurant, one of the customers notices that all of the waiters have two spoons in their vest pockets. A waiter explains, "We see that the most frequently dropped silverware is spoons, therefore we keep them for replacement."
Then the customer notices a string hanging out of all the waiters' flies. "The string is for us to go to the bathroom," explains the waiter. "That way, when we pull it, it shoots and aims straight, and we don't need to use our hands."
The customer asks, "Well, that's how you get it out, but how do you get it back in?"
The waiter replies, "Well, that's another reason we carry the spoons."
What Do I Look Like?
A newlywed couple just moved into their new house. One day, the wife asked her husband, "Honey, one of the bathroom pipes is leaking. Could you fix it?"
The husband looked at his wife and said, "What do I look like - Mr. Plumber?"
A few days went by, and his wife asked for a favor. "Honey, the car won't start. I think it needs a new battery. Could you change it for me?"
"What do I look like - Mr. Goodwrench?"
A couple weeks later, the wife found a leak in the roof. "Honey, there's a leak on the roof. Can you please fix it?"
"What do I look like - Bob Vila?" He sat down with a вееr and watched a game on TV.
One rainy weekend, the husband realized the leak on the roof was gone. He went to the bathroom and found that the pipe behind the sink wasn't leaking anymore either.
When his wife returned home, the husband asked, "Honey, how come there aren't any more leaks and the car's running?"
She replied nonchalantly, "Oh, the other day I ran into one of our new neighbors, Jon. What a nice man. He came over and fixed everything.
"Wow, did he charge us anything?"
"No, he said he'd do it for free if I either baked him a cake or had sеx with him."
"Cool. What kind of cake did you make?"
"Cake? What the hеll do I look like - Betty Crocker?"