Most popular jokes

A rabbi, priest, and a preacher meet every Monday in a coffee shop to talk things over about their spiritual life.
One day, the priest makes a bet with the other guys that he could convert a bear in the woods over to his religion. The others nod and say "Yeah, I'll bet we could do it quicker than you could!"
So they all agree that the next time they meet, they'll share stories about how they were able to convert a bear.
They all end up in the hospital, but the priest is in the best shape of all of them. They decide to meet in the rabbi's room. The priest has his arm in a sling and says, "Yeah, it was tough at first, but I was able to dash it with some holy water. The next thing I know, it started saying Hail Mary. He's coming to mass this Sunday."
The other two clergymen nod in approval, and the preacher goes next. The preacher is in pretty bad shape. He's in a wheel chair, and he has a concussion, a broken leg, and a broken arm. He says "Well, when I finally happened upon it, I wrestled that thing to the ground and started beating its head with a Bible. So he lunges at me and we tumble down this hill into the river where I dunked him seven times. Finally, he came to the faith. He'll be coming to church next Sunday."
Both men turn to the rabbi to hear his story. The rabbi looks like he got the worst of it. He's in a body cast and there's no way he's getting out of bed any time soon. He looks at both men and says "Well, I probably should've started with something different than circumcision...."

69 0

Yo mama is so sтuрid when you asked her to grab McDonald's she brings the building home.

69 0

Yo Momma Jokes Food Jokes Communication Jokes Stupid Jokes

Q: What is another name for a gynecologist?
A: A private investigator.

69 0

Medical and Doctor Jokes Office and Work Jokes Gynecology Jokes Military Jokes

In 1996, Florida physical therapist Paul Shimkonis sued his local nudie bar claiming whiplash from a lap dancer's large вrеаsтs.
Shimkonis felt he suffered physical harm and mental anguish from the вrеаsтs, which he claimed felt like "cement blocks" hitting him.
Shimkonis sought justice in the amount of $15,000, which was denied.

69 0

Judge and Court Jokes Money jokes Medical and Doctor Jokes

Q: How many Accountants does it take to change a light bulb?
A: What sort of answer did you have in mind?
A: None - just assume it's changed.

69 0

Accountant Jokes Office and Work Jokes Light bulb jokes

In the war, a German ship suspected that they were being tracked by an Irish submarine.
Unfortunately, they had used up all of their depth-charges.
As an alternative, one of their Divers decided to swim down to the submarine and knock on the door.

69 0

Irish jokes Dark Humor Jokes Military Jokes Sick and Death Jokes

Q: Why did the butcher get fired from his job?
A: He was caught beating his meat.

69 0

Office and Work Jokes Food Jokes

The biggest SEO problem with trampoline websites is the high user bounce rate!

69 0

Geek jokes Technology Jokes Computer Jokes Internet Jokes

Q: How many telemarketers does it take to change a light-bulb?
A: Only one, but she has to do it while you're eating dinner.

69 0

Office and Work Jokes Food Jokes Customer service jokes Light bulb jokes

Scene: A radio newsroom.
Caller: "I just wanted to let you know you're off the air."
Host: "Yes, we know. The engineers are working on it."
Caller: "It would be nice if you put something on the air that says that."

69 0

Engineer Jokes Office and Work Jokes Technology Jokes Communication Jokes

Q: Why didn't the fixed dog cross the road?
A: Because he didn't have the ваlls to do it.

69 0

Pet Jokes Animal Jokes Dog jokes

Applying for a job, a new lawyer was asked if paying back his law school tuition would be any special problem.
He replied that he paid it back right after his first case.
When asked how he managed that, he said, "Well, my dad sued me for it and won."

69 0

Lawyer Jokes Office and Work Jokes Money jokes School Jokes

Guilt is a dish best served by Mom.

69 0

Marriage and Family Jokes

Q: How many Microsoft executives does it take to change a light bulb?
A: We can see no need for uninstallation and have therefore made no provision for light bulbs to be removed.

69 0

Microsoft and Bill Gates Jokes Technology Jokes Computer Jokes Geek jokes Management Jokes Light bulb jokes

I enjoy a glass of wine each night for its health benefits.
The other glasses are for my witty comebacks and my flawless dance moves.

69 0

Drinking and Drunk Jokes Medical and Doctor Jokes Wine jokes

Q: What is the most dangerous part of a motorcycle?
A: The nut between the seat and the handlebars.

69 0

Jokes

Patient: "Doc, recently I've been very careless."
Doc: "How? Give me an example."
Patient: "Now I'm speaking with you, it seems that I'm talking to my diск."

69 0

Medical and Doctor Jokes Dirty jokes Vulgar jokes Communication Jokes

Q: What sickness do cowboys get from riding wild horses?
A: Bronchitis.

69 0

Cowboys and Indians Jokes Medical and Doctor Jokes Animal Jokes

A busload of retired Americans was touring Switzerland. On the third day, they visited a farm known for its excellent quality goat cheese.
The young farmer's wife gave them a tour, a cheese making a demonstration, and finally some samples.
As the retirees were tasting the cheeses, she pointed to a pasture full of goats.
She said, "This is a special pasture where we let our older goats graze happily after they can no longer give milk. In the United States, what do you do with your old goats?"
An old lady piped up, "Honey, they take us on bus tours."

69 0

Food Jokes Old People Jokes Travel and Tourist Jokes American Jokes

An aircraft is flying when all over sudden a bird crashes through the cockpit and kills both the pilot and co pilot.
Having heard the crash a blonde flight attendant rushes in to find out what happened.
Once inside the cockpit the plane jerks and the cabin door slams shut and can't be opened.
So she pulls the captain out of his seat and sits down, taking the radio into her hands and says,
"May Day! May Day! Help Me! Help Me! The pilots are dead and I don't know how to fly. Help Me! Please Help Me!"
She hears a voice over the radio saying:
"This is Air Traffic Control and I have you loud and clear. I will talk you through this and get you back on the ground. I've had a lot of experience with this kind of problem. Just take a deep breath. Everything will be fine! Now give me your height and position!"
"I'm 5'4 and in the front seat of the plane."
"O.K." says the voice on the radio. "Repeat after me: Our father who art in heaven..."

69 0

Aviation Jokes Blonde Jokes Animal Jokes Stupid Jokes Travel and Tourist Jokes Military Jokes Pilot Jokes

Most Popular Jokes