Most Popular Jokes

My ex-wife is so thick, that it is for me, when we meet sometimes, easier to jump her over than to go around her.

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Marriage and Family Jokes Jokes about Women

Teacher: "Who can tell a story?"
Little Johnny: "Our maid's аss."
Teacher: "Why?"
Little Johnny: "Last night daddy touched her аss and was whispering: 'A wonderful story.'"

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School Jokes Little Johnny Jokes Dirty jokes Vulgar jokes Dad Jokes

A waiter walks up to a table of old ladies eating their lunch and asks, "Is anything OK?"

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Waiter Jokes Food Jokes Old People Jokes Customer service jokes Communication Jokes

After the Great Britain Вееr Festival, in London, all the Presidents of the brewreys decide to go to the pub for a drink. The Coors President said
"Can I have the only вееr made with Rocky Mountain Spring Water: a Coors, please."
The bartender gave him the drink. Then the Budweiser President orders, "The King Of Beers -- Budweiser."
The bartender proceeds with the order. The Amstel President walks in and orders "The Finest Вееr ever."
The bartender gives him an Amstel. Then the Guinness President says, "I'll have a coke please."
The bartender is taken aback by this but gives the coke to him anyway. All the Presidents looked over at him and said,
"Why have you ordered a coke?"
He replied,
"Well if you all aren't drinking вееr, then neither shall I."

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Drinking and Drunk Jokes Beer Jokes

Getting married is like buying a dishwasher.
You'll never have to do it by hand again.

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Dirty jokes Marriage and Family Jokes Masturbation jokes

Q: What do you call a very small valentine?
A: A valen-tiny!

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Valentine's Day Jokes Communication Jokes

Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Owls say.
Owls say who?
Yep, that they do.

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Knock-knock jokes Animal Jokes Communication Jokes

These two guys are riding in a convertible down a road in the desert, the road runs alongside a railroad as they are driving, as they are driving a train goes past, on the train a guy is on the train, clutching his stomach and grunting, his buddy leans over, and asks him,
"What the hеll is wrong with you?"
The guy replies, "I gotta shiт real bad, and I can't reach the bathroom in time!"
His buddy tells him "Hang your аss out the window, and let it fly."
The guy hangs his аss out the window and the shiт flies back and hits the convertible.
The guys in the convertible say "Dамn, that guy on the train spit tobacco on us!"
The guy asks his friend "Hey, pull over when the train stops and we'll find this guy and kick his аss".
After he finishes talking the guy driving the car slows down.
His friend says "Why are you slowing down, don't you wanna beat this guy up."
His friend says "No!"
The other guy says "Why".
His friend says, "Number one, that is some of the stinkiest tobacco I've ever smelled, and number two, did you see the jaws on that son of a вiтсh!"

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Car and driving jokes Dark Humor Jokes Friendship Jokes Vulgar jokes Travel and Tourist Jokes

There were only two people in line ahead of me at the electronics store, yet the wait was dragging on forever.
Finally, the customer behind me muttered, "Mr. Hare must be on vacation."
Only then did I notice the name tag on the man at the register. It read: "Mr. Turtle, sales associate."

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Customer service jokes

The secret of enjoying a good bottle of wine:
1. Open the bottle to allow it to breathe.
2. If it doesn't look like it's breathing, give it mouth-to-mouth.

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Wine jokes Drinking and Drunk Jokes

Q: Why should you keep a blonde on the job 7 days a week?
A: So you don't have to retrain them every Monday.

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Office and Work Jokes Blonde Jokes Stupid Jokes

A teller at our credit union was assisting a member with a loan application.
"Do you have references?" she asked.
The member replied, "Do they have to be living?"

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Money jokes Banker Jokes

I always arrive late to work, but I make up for it by leaving early.

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Office and Work Jokes

It's so quiet in the Hollywood Starbucks this morning, you can hear a name drop.

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Business jokes Customer service jokes

When somebody is totally angry, why not say:
"Yes, young Skywalker. Come over to the dark side of the Force."

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Geek jokes Celebrity and Pop Culture Jokes Communication Jokes Star Wars Jokes

Your mama so fат that when she had a lockdown in a gym she wasn't able to go through the window or the door.

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Yo Momma Jokes Fitness jokes

Two deer hunters met in the woods. The first one said to the other, "Boy am I glad to see you, I've been lost for hours." The second deer hunter said, "That's nothing, I've been lost for a week."

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Hunting Jokes

Q: Where's Spiderman's home page?
A: On the world wide web.

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IT jokes Technology Jokes Internet Jokes

I went to a very beautiful place yesterday.
There were blossoms, roses and bright sky like a fantasy land.
I was so happy until some idiот woke me up...

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Beauty Jokes Travel and Tourist Jokes

Half dressed redneck couple sitting on a couch watching the news on TV with man's arm around the woman.
The man says "Lookit them hомо-sekshuls a ruining the sanctity of our institution.
"We oughta go to San Francisco just to show them liberals that marriage means one man, one woman. "
"Right, Darlin."
The woman replies, "That's right, Daddy."

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Redneck jokes Marriage and Family Jokes Relationship Jokes Travel and Tourist Jokes Couple jokes