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Top 10 List of what Moms REALLY want...
10. To be able to eat a whole candy bar (alone) and drink a soda without any floaties, ie... backwash.
9. To have my 14 year-old daughter answer a question without rolling her eyes in that, "Why is this person my mother?" way.
8. Five pounds of chocolate that won't add twenty.
7. A shower without a child peeking through the curtain with a "Hi Ya Mom!" just as I put a razor to my ankle.
6. A full time cleaning person - period!
5. For my teenager to announce, "Hey, Mom! I got a full scholarship and a job all in the same day!"
4. A grocery store that doesn't have candy/gum/toys displayed at the checkout line.
3. To have a family meal without a discussion about воdily secretions.
2. To be able to step on a plane with my toddlers and NOT have someone moan, "Oh no! Why me!"
And #1... Four words: Fisher Price Play Prison
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Когато ме попитат какво предпочитам - вино или жени, отговарям така: - Тебе вино больше нравится или женщины? - Смотря какой год производства. Francuz do kolegi: - Z czego byś zrezygnował - z wina, czy z kobiet? - Aaaa, to zależy od rocznika. – Og hva foretrekker De som 80-åring i dag? Kvinner eller vin? – Å, unge mann, det kommer helt an på årgangen. "Das Ergebnis ist eindeutig", sagt der Arzt nach der Untersuchung zu dem Herrn in den Fünfzigern. "Ihrem Gesundheitszustand nach müssen Sie eines aufgeben: die Frauen oder den Wein. Was werden sie... В одного француза запитують: — Вам що більше подобається? Вино чи жінки? На що він відповідає: — Це залежить від року випуску. Az orvos megvizsgálja a beteget, majd így szól: - Mondja uram, maga mit szeret jobban? A nőket vagy a bort? - Az az évjárattól függ, doktor úr! — Що ти більше любиш – вино чи жінок? — Це залежить від року виготовлення. "Sag mal Rudi, auf was würdest du eher verzichten: Frauen oder Wein?" - "Nun, kommt ganz auf den Jahrgang an."
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The Priest of a small village was very happy with his flock of ten hens and a cockerel.
He kept them in a hen house behind the parish, but one Saturday night, the cockerel was missing.
The priest, suspecting fowl play decided to say something about it at church the next morning.
At last, he asked the congregation, has anyone got a соск? To which all the men stood up.
“No,no,” he said, some what flustered, “that’s not what I meant. “Has anybody SEEN a соск?” All the women stood up.
“No, no,” he said. “Thats not what I meant either. Has anyone seen a соск that doesn’t belong to them.” Half the women stood up.
“No, no,” He said, now thoroughly embarrassed “Perhaps I should rephrase the question: Has anybody here seen MY соск?” All the choirboys stood up.
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