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One day there was a hippie who got on a bus. The bus was very crowded and the man took a seat next to a young nun. He was very attracted to the nun, because she was surprisingly beautiful.
After getting his courage up, he finally said to the nun “Will you have sеx with me?”
The nun, disgusted, told the bus driver to stop the bus and she got off.
The man was very disappointed and he moved up to the front of the bus to wait for his stop. Seeing that the young hippie was upset, the bus driver decided to help him out.
He said to the young man, “I know that nun. Every night, she goes to the grave yard at 9:00 to pray at the grave of her friend. If you go there and pretend that you are Jesus, there is no way she would turn down God’s request.
Just tell her that you are Jesus and ask her to have sеx with you.” This gave the hippie great hope.
That night, he went to the graveyard, and sure enough, there was the nun. As she kneeled down, he decided to make his move. He walked over to her, dressed in a white robe with a hood and said to the nun “I am Jesus
Christ, will you have sеx with me?” Now, of course the nun could not deny the power of God, so she agreed. “I just have one request,” said the nun, “it has to be аnаl sеx, so I can remain a virgin and continue in my sisterhood.” The disguised hippie agreed and the two had sеx.
When they were done, the man thought that it would be funny to reveal his identity to the nun. He took off his robe, revealing a tye dyed shirt, ripped jeans, and hемр nacklaces. “HA HA!! I’m not Jesus, I’m the hippie!” He exclaimed.
Much to the young man’s surprise, the nun took off her habit, revealing a gray shirt and gray pants. Laughing, she yelled “HA HA! I’m not the nun, I’m the bus driver!”
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All too rarely, airline attendants make an effort to make the in-flight "safety lecture", and their other announcements a bit more entertaining.
Here are some real examples that have been heard or Reported:
1. On a Continental Flight with a very "senior" flight attendant Crew, the pilot said,
"Ladies and gentlemen, we've reached Cruising altitude and will be turning down the cabin lights. This is for Your comfort, and to enhance the appearance of your flight Attendants."
2. On landing the stewardess said,
"There may be 50 ways to leave Your lover, but there are only 4 ways out off this airplane."
3. As the plane landed and was coming to a stop at Washington National, a lone voice came over the loudspeaker:
"Whoa, big fella.
Whoa!"
4. After a particularly rough landing during thunderstorms in Memphis, a flight attendant on a Northwest flight announced, "Please Take care when opening the overhead compartments because, after a Landing like that, sure as hеll everything has shifted."
5. "In the event of a sudden loss of cabin pressure, masks will Descend from the ceiling. Stop screaming, grab the mask, and pull It over your face. If you have a small child traveling with you, Secure your mask before assisting with theirs. If you are traveling with More than one small child, pick your favorite."
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