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A mother and her daughter were visiting the grave site of a loved one, when on their way back to the car they little girl stopped her mom. She said "Mommy, do they ever bury two people in the same grave?" A mother and son were walking through a cemetery, and passed by a headstone inscribed ‘Here lies a good lawyer and an honest man.' The little boy read the headstone, looked up at his mother, and asked "Mommy, why did they bury two men there?" En el cementerio se lee: "Aquí yace un abogado, un hombre honrado, un hombre íntegro". El campesino se persigna y dice asustado:¡Virgen Santísima, enterraron a tres hombres en la misma fosa! Στο νεκροταφείο. Matka i syn idą cmentarną aleją i mijają nagrobek z napisem: "Tu leży dobry prawnik i człowiek honoru". Chłopiec przeczytał napis, spojrzał na mamę i spytał: - Mamusiu, dlaczego pochowali tu dwóch...
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I took a day off from work to play golf. I was on the fourth hole, when I discovered a small frog sitting on the green.
I paid it no attention until I heard, "Ribbit. 9-iron."
That's curious, I thought, but decided to trust the frog.
I pulled out a 9-iron and sunk a hole-in-one.
Amazed, I picked up the frog and asked where we should go next.
"Ribbit. Vegas."
We went to Vegas, and I asked the frog what we should do first.
"Ribbit. Roulette."
We went up to the roulette table, and I won big.
I took my earnings and got the best room in the hotel.
I asked the frog if there was anything I could do to repay it.
"Ribbit. Kiss me."
I figured, what the hеll, and I kissed the frog.
It turned into a 15-year-old girl.
That's how she ended up in my room, your Honor, and if I'm lying, my name's not R. Kelly.
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Doctor my son swallowed my pen, what do I do? Use a pencil until I get there. Το στυλό - Γιατρέ, κατάπια ένα στυλό. Τι να κάνω; - Να χρησιμοποιείτε μολυβί. Γιατρέ μου, βοήθεια. Η κόρη μου κατάπιε ένα στυλό! Δεν πειράζει, γράψτε με μολύβι… ! Carabiniere telefona al dottore: "Dottore, corra subito, il maresciallo si e' ingoiata la penna!". - "Dottore,dottore... Il maresciallo si è ingoiato la stilo" - "E ora? che fate?" - "Per ora scriviamo con la matita!" Przychodzi baba do lekarza: - Panie doktorze, mój syn połknął ołówek. - To niech pisze długopisem. En man ringde till läkaren: – Du måste hjälpa mig. Min son har svalt en bläckpenna! – Okej, jag skickar ambulans. Det tar ca 20 minuter innan de kommer fram. – Vad ska jag göra under tiden? –... Jan komt bij de dokter en zegt: dokter, dokter! ik heb een potlood ingeslikt! De dokter zegt: tja jantje dan moet je voortaan maar met een pen schrijven! Sara. - Hallo, vai ātrā palīdzība? Mans bērns ir norijis pildspalvu! - Tūlīt izbraucam! - Bet ko man darīt līdz jūsu atbraukšanai? - Nū…pagaidām rakstiet ar zīmuli.
Medical and Doctor Jokes Dark Humor Jokes
An old man takes his grandson fishing in a local pond one day. After 20 minutes of fishing, the old man fires up a cigar. The young boy asks,
"Grandpa, can I have a cigar?"
The old man asks, "Son, can your diск touch your аsshоlе?"
The young boy says no.
"Then u can't have a cigar."
Another 20 minutes passes, and the old man opens a вееr. The young boy asks,
"Grandpa, can I have a вееr?"
The old man asks, "Son, can your diск touch your аsshоlе?"
The young boy says no. "Well, then u can't have a вееr."
Another 20 minutes passes, and the young boy opens a bag of potato сhiрs. The old man asks,
"Son, can I have some of your сhiрs?"
The boy asks, "Well, Grandpa, can your diск touch your аsshоlе?"
The old man says, "It sure can." The boy says,
"Well good, then go fuск yourself, these are my сhiрs."
Отиват дядо и внуче на язовира за риба, седят известно време и дядото вади едно патронче ракия.
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Once there was a King who had a beautiful daughter, but there was a problem.
Everything she touched would melt.
No matter what; metal, wood, plastic. It would melt..
Because of this, men were afraid of her. Nobody would dare marry her.
The King despaired. What could he do to help his daughter..???
He consulted Wizards and Magicians. One Wizard told the King,
"If your daughter touches one thing that does not melt in her hands, she will be cured."
The King was overjoyed. The next day, he held a competition.
Any man that could bring his Daughter an object that would not melt would marry her and inherit the King's wealth.
Three young Princes took up the challenge.
The first one brought a very hard alloy of titanium. But alas, once the princess touched it, it melted. The prince went away sadly.
The second Prince brought a huge diamond, thinking that diamond is the hardest substance in the world and will not melt.
But alas it also melted. He too went away disappointed.
The third Prince approached. He told the Princess, "Put your hand in my Pocket and feel what's in there."
The Princess did as she was asked, though she turned Crimson.
She felt something hard. She held it in her hand. And it did not melt.
The King was overjoyed, the third Prince married the Princess and they lived happily ever after..
Question: What was the object in the Prince's pants..???
(Scroll down for the answer. )









They were M&M's. - (get your mind out of the gutter)..
Everyone knows they Melt in your Mouth, not in your Hand.
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