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Latest Jokes

Patient:
"May I have a glass of water, doctor."
Doctor:
"Are you thirsty?"
Patient:
"No… I just wanted to check whether my throat leaks."

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Medical and Doctor Jokes

Q: What is a banana's favorite gymnastic move?
A: The splits!

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Sports Jokes Kids Jokes Food Jokes Fitness jokes

Life is like a box of chocolates:
A lot of people can't stand the dark ones.

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Food Jokes Ethnic and Racial Jokes Black People Jokes

What do you do with a bachelor who thinks he's God's gift to women?
Exchange him.

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Jokes about Women God Jokes Men jokes One-Liner Jokes

Yo momma so sтuрid, she took a spoon to the Super Bowl.

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Insult Jokes Yo Momma Jokes Stupid Jokes

Yo mama so ugly it caused Godzilla to go back to the ocean.

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Insult Jokes Yo Momma Jokes Ugly Jokes

My wife stormed into the pub last night as me and the boys were downing shots of Tequila.
"You're coming home now!" she screamed.
"No, I'm not," I laughed.
She said, "I'm talking to the kids."

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Kids Jokes Drinking and Drunk Jokes Bar and Bartender Jokes

Why do ghetto people always name their kids things they cant afford like Diamond, Mercedes, Car Insurance?

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Car and driving jokes Kids Jokes Ethnic and Racial Jokes Black People Jokes Insurance Comedy

One day johnny's mam asks the class, "Which part of the human body goes to heaven first?"
Suzi said, "Well, it's our hands.
We do all the good things with our hand, so they are bound to go to heaven first."
Teacher says, "very good. Anybody else?"
Rocky says, "Well, it's our heart.
We think all the good things with our heart, so it's bound to go to heaven first."
Teacher says, "very good.
Do you want to say something, Johnny?"
Johnny says, "Our legs go to heaven first."
Teacher, not getting any clue says, "How comes it, Johnny?"
Johnny says, "Yesterday night, I was passing through my parent's room, & there was my mom,-legs high in the air- screaming 'Oh God!
I am сuммing'"

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School Jokes Little Johnny Jokes God Jokes

Little Johnny comes downstairs crying.
His mother asked, "What’s the matter now?"
"Dad was hanging pictures, and just hit his thumb with hammer," said little Johnny through his tears.
"That’s not so serious," soothed his mother.
"I know you are upset, but a big boy like you shouldn’t cry at something like that. Why didn’t you just laugh?"
"I did!" sobbed Johnny.

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Marriage and Family Jokes Little Johnny Jokes Dad Jokes

Q: Whats the diffrence between a park bench and a black guy?
A: The park bench can support a family.

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Marriage and Family Jokes Insult Jokes Men jokes Ethnic and Racial Jokes Black People Jokes What's The Difference Jokes

A guy who had a little too much to drink is driving home from the city one night and, of course, his car is weaving violently all over the road.
A cop pulls him over.
"So," says the cop to the driver, "Where have you been?"
"Why, I've been to the pub of course," slurs the drunк.
"Well," says the cop, "It looks like you've had quite a few drinks this evening."
"I did all right," the drunк says with a smile.
"Did you know," says the cop, standing straight and folding his arms across his chest,
"That a few intersections back, your wife fell out of your car?"
"Oh, thank heavens," sighs the drunк.
"For a minute there, I thought I'd gone deaf."

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Car and driving jokes Marriage and Family Jokes Drinking and Drunk Jokes Police Officer Jokes

A man ask his wife, "What would you do if I won the lottery?"
Wife says, "I would take half and leave you".
Man says, "Great! I have won a tenner, here a fiver now fuск off!

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Men vs Women Jokes Men jokes Relationship Jokes

How do some men define Roe vs. Wade?
Two ways to cross a river.

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Men vs Women Jokes Men jokes

If money dosnt grow on trees why do banks have branches?

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Money jokes Banker Jokes

Three men were drunк and they stopped a taxi.
The taxi driver figured that they were not in their minds so, he just switched on the engine and switched it off and told them:
"we have arrived".
The first man gave him money.
The second one thanked the taxi driver.
The third one slapped him (the taxi driver).
The taxi driver was stunned because he was hoping that none of them had realized that the car didn't move an inch, but he faked surprise and asked the third man:
"what was that for?".
The drunken man replied:
"control your speed next time! you nearly killed us!!!"

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Car and driving jokes Money jokes Men jokes Drinking and Drunk Jokes

Q: What does NAACP stand for?
A: National Association of Apes Called People

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Nationality Jokes Ethnic and Racial Jokes Black People Jokes

Did you hear about the blonde who thought Doris Day was a national holiday?

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Nationality Jokes Blonde Jokes

Good News: A busload of lawyers ran off a cliff.
The bus was destroyed and there were no survivors.
Bad News: There were three empty seats.

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Car and driving jokes News and Politics Jokes Dark Humor Jokes Lawyer Jokes

When you need to remove yourself from your group of friends to come up with a strategy for sounding sober enough to be served more alcohol, the fun is behind you.

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Partying and Bad Behavior Jokes Drinking and Drunk Jokes Friendship Jokes