Newest jokes - Page 735

How many potatoes does it take to кill an Irishman?
Zero.

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People believe in God. God believe in Chuck Norris.

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God Jokes Chuck Norris Jokes

I know when god becomes angry.
When teenage girls get pregnant and their parents exclaim, "Oh god! What have you done?!"

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God Jokes Kids Jokes

Yo momma so sтuрid you have to dig for her IQ!

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Insult Jokes Yo Momma Jokes Stupid Jokes

A man goes to a bar and sees a fат girl dancing on a table. He walks over to her and says, "Wow, nice legs!" She is flattered and replies, "You really think so?" The man says, "Oh definitely! Most tables would have collapsed by now."

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Insult Jokes Men jokes Fat Jokes

A blonde guy gets home early from work and hears strange noises coming from the bedroom.
He rushes upstairs to find his wife nакеd on the bed, sweating and panting.
"What's up?" he says.
"I'm having a heart attack," cries the woman.
He rushes downstairs to grab the phone, but just as he's dialing, his 4-year-old son comes up and says,"Daddy!
Daddy!
Uncle Ted's hiding in your closet and he's got no clothes on!"
The guy slams the phone down and storms upstairs into the bedroom, past his screaming wife, and rips open the wardrobe door.
Sure enough, there is his brother, totally nакеd, cowering on the closet floor.
You rotten ваsтаrd, "says the husband,"my wife's having a heart attack and you're running around nакеd scaring the kids!!!

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Jokes about Women Office and Work Jokes Kids Jokes Blonde Jokes

Q: How was break dancing invented?
A: Little black kids stealing hub caps off of moving cars.

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Ethnic and Racial Jokes Car and driving jokes Kids Jokes Black People Jokes

Little Johnny wanted to go to the zoo and pestered his parents for days.
Finally his mother talked his reluctant father into taking him.
"So how was it?" his mother asked when they returned home.
"Great," Little Johnny replied.
"Did you and daddy have a good time?" asked his mother.
"Yeah, daddy really liked it too," exclaimed Little Johnny, "especially when one of the animals came home at 30 to 1!"

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Little Johnny Jokes Animal Jokes Dad Jokes

Little Johnny: „Mom, can I get a dog at Christmas, please?"
Mother: „No, you'll be getting turkey, like every year!"

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Christmas Jokes Little Johnny Jokes Food Jokes Animal Jokes Dog jokes

What’s the difference between a sеx night with the husband and one with the truelove?
About a half an hour...

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Sex Jokes Marriage and Family Jokes Love Jokes

Yo mama is so sтuрid she married a carpenter just to get nailed.

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Marriage and Family Jokes Yo Momma Jokes Stupid Jokes

Jennifer, wanna go to my place?
I am not Jennifer
But I didn't ask about that...

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Men vs Women Jokes Jokes about Women Men jokes

A true gentleman holds the door for his woman... then smacks her аss as she walks by.

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Jokes about Women Men vs Women Jokes Men jokes

Is everything expensive or I'm just poor?

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Money jokes

A Brazilian, a Frenchman, and a Nigerian were in a plane. The pilot told them that they have to jump out of the plane when they find their country. The Brazilian jumped out when he saw the Сhrisт the Redeemer statue. The Frenchman jumped out when he saw the Eiffel Tower. When it was the Nigerian's turn the pilot asked, "When will you jump?" The Nigerian put his hand outside the plane window. When he brought it back in, his watch was gone. He said, "Ah, we've reached my country."

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Nationality Jokes Aviation Jokes Pilot Jokes

After years of scrimping and saving, a husband told his wife the good news:
“Honey, we’ve finally saved enough money to buy what we started saving for in 1979.”
“You mean a brand-new Cadillac?” she asked eagerly.
“No,” said the husband, “a 1979 Cadillac.

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Car and driving jokes News and Politics Jokes Money jokes Marriage and Family Jokes Old People Jokes

Bill Clinton walks out on to his front porch, and written in urinе was "The president must go."
Bill Clinton storms into his office and demaned to know who did it.
So his two body guards run out to find out who it was.
Five hours later the two gaurds come back in, they told Bill, "We have some bad news, and we have worse news."
"What is the bad news?" asked Bill.
"Well, the bad news is, we took a urinе test, and it was his vice-president, Al Gore."
"Whats the worst news?" asked Bill.
"The worst news is that it is Hillary's hand writing!"

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Office and Work Jokes Celebrity and Pop Culture Jokes News and Politics Jokes Political Jokes American Presidents Humor

I was recently involved in kind of a serious driving accident, which you may have suspected. It was not completely my fault because the other guy involved was really drunк. But he was at a slight disadvantage because he didn't have his car with him at the time.

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Partying and Bad Behavior Jokes

Isn't it amazing how cigarette smoking is becoming illegal, but marijuana's becoming decriminalized? Do you know that in a few years I'm going to have to pretend I'm getting high in order to enjoy a Camel Light? I'm going to have to take the filter off, twist the ends up -- 'For the next hour and a half, act like my I.Q.'s dropped 80 points.'

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Partying and Bad Behavior Jokes

Why does Rick Ross rap about cars when he cant fit in them.

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Celebrity and Pop Culture Jokes Music and Musician Jokes

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