Jokes about Banks and Bankers

Why are Irish bankers so successful?
Because their capital's always Dublin.

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Boy: What's a palindrome?
Teacher: racecar
{10 years later}
Boy: [bursting out of bank in ski mask] where's the palindrome
Getaway driver: [sitting in kayak]

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School Jokes Banker Jokes

A young woman walks into a bank to withdraw some money.
‘Can you identify yourself?’ asked the bank clerk.
The young woman opens her handbag, takes out a mirror, looks into it and says, ‘Yes, it’s me all right.’

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Jokes about Women Money jokes Banker Jokes

I loaned a blind guy some money.
It’s OK though. He said he’d pay me back next time he saw me.

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Money jokes Disability Jokes Banker Jokes

What do you call it when you put all your borrowed money in a single place, isolated from all your other money?
A loan to gather.... [Alone Together]

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Money jokes Single People Jokes Banker Jokes

A man hires a taxi to take him to court for his bankruptcy trial.
When they arrive he says to the driver, ‘Well, I suppose you might as well come in too.’

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Money jokes Men jokes Banker Jokes

Bank machines charge you $1.99 to get your own cash, but tell you to cover your pin so nobody robs you, talk about double fuскin standards

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Banker Jokes

There’s a significant difference between a regular bank and a sp-erm bank.
At a sp-erm bank, once you make a deposit you lose interest.

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What's The Difference Jokes Banker Jokes

Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac got together and got married in Loan Town, USA. And had a baby the banks called Foreclosure, and they lived unhappily ever after in their new economy life styles.

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Marriage and Family Jokes USA Jokes Business jokes Banker Jokes

I went to the bank the other day and asked the banker to check my balance, so she pushed me!

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Double Meaning and Wordplay Jokes Banker Jokes

I'm not saying that the customer service in my bank is bad, but when I went in the other day and asked the clerk to check my balance, she leaned over and pushed me.

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Money jokes One-Liner Jokes Banker Jokes

The banker fell overboard from a friend's sailboat.
The friend grabbed a life preserver, held it up, not knowing if the banker could swim, and shouted, "Can you float alone?"
"Obviously," the banker replied, "but this is a heck of a time to talk business."

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Money jokes Friendship Jokes Banker Jokes

A mother in China gave birth to a 15-pound baby. Chinese officials say it’s so big, it can do the work of two babies.” -Conan O’Brien
Donald Trump announced he is building a new hotel four blocks from the White House. And with any luck, that will be about as close to the White House as Donald Trump will ever get.” -Jay Leno
“President Obama has ordered new sanctions against Iran’s central bank for engaging in deceptive practices. I’ve got a better idea, how about sanctions against OUR banks for deceptive practices?” -Jay Leno
A new report found that Facebook has created more than 450,000 jobs. Unfortunately, photos posted on Facebook have ended 550,000 jobs.” -Jimmy Fallon
According to USA Today, more Chinese tourists are coming to America. They get to see things they’ve never seen before: the Grand Canyon, the Statue of Liberty, adults working in factories.” -Jay Leno
Today, the United Nations approved a resolution to lift the sanctions against Iraq. … Yeah, the move will allow Iraqis to buy things they don’t have, such as medicine and weapons of mass destruction.

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Office and Work Jokes News and Politics Jokes USA Jokes Facebook Jokes Hotel Jokes Banker Jokes American Presidents Humor

Kathy goes to her local bank, walks into the manager’s office, and says, “I want a loan; I am going to divorce my husband.” “Oh, we don’t give loans for divorces,” the manager says. “We offer loans only for things like real estate, appliances, automobiles, businesses, and home improvement.” Kathy interrupts:
“Stop right there. This definitely falls into the category of ‘Home Improvement.’”

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Office and Work Jokes Business jokes Banker Jokes Boss Jokes

An insect falls into a mug of вееr.
Englishman: Throws his mug away and walks out.
American : Takes the insect out and drinks the вееr.
Chinese : Eats the insect and throws the вееr away.
Indian : Sells the вееr to the American and insect to the Chinese and gets a new mug of вееr.
Pakistani : Accuses the Indian for throwing the insect into his вееr, relates the issue to Kashmir, asks the Chinese for military aid and takes a loan from the American to buy one more mug of вееr.

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Military Jokes Political Jokes American Jokes Banker Jokes Beer Jokes Cowboys and Indians Jokes

One day in New York City, a banker was driving his new Jaguar down the streets. He parked it and opened the door to get out. Suddenly a taxi went by and ripped the door off. The driver reported this to a nearby police officer. The officer saw the whole thing and said "You bankers are so involved in your possessions. You didn't even notice that your arm was ripped off as well" The banker stared at where his arm used to be and said "OH NO! My new Rolex is gone too!"

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Office and Work Jokes Police Officer Jokes Business jokes Banker Jokes

What do you call a group of blondes on roller skates?
A mobile sреrм bank!

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Blonde Jokes Banker Jokes

Who robs banks and squirts ink?
Billy the Squid.

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Animal Jokes Banker Jokes

‘A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don’t need it.’
Bob Hope

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Money jokes Banker Jokes

Why do goalkeepers have so much money in the bank?
Because they are really good at saving.

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Banker Jokes