Communication Jokes

Q: What did the fire monster that was slayed by the water monster say?
A: "You're cold."

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Communication Jokes

The bean soup I'd ordered was mostly water.
I decided to tell the waitress.
"This soup is awful," I said.
"I know," she said. "I don't like bean soup either."

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Waiter Jokes Food Jokes Customer service jokes Communication Jokes

Phil, a smart and handsome young man, dressed in the latest fashion, walked into this local pub.
He noticed a woman gazing at him without blinking her big eyes.
Phil felt flattered so he walked up to the woman and said in his deepest voice, "I'll do anything you wish, beautiful lady, for just £10 but on one condition."
"The woman appeared to be trapped in the moment and asked as if in a trance,'What's your condition?"
Phil answered, "Tell me your wish in just three words."
There was a long pause, the woman opened her purse, counted out the money and handed it to the man along with her address.
She then looked deeply into his eyes and whispered, "Clean my house."

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Men vs Women Jokes Jokes about Women Money jokes Men jokes Beauty Jokes Communication Jokes

A father was advising his son: "If you want to have a big and strong diск in future you have to eat more walnuts."
Suddenly son's mother by an angry face shouted: "Why when you were child did'nt eat enough walnut yourself?"

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Dirty jokes Marriage and Family Jokes Kids Jokes Dad Jokes Communication Jokes

I and my two mates went to a hоокеr and she told us that it will cost us a pound an inch.
My first mate went in and came out after minutes, saying, it cost me a tenner!
My second mate went in and came out ten minutes later and said, it cost me £9.50!
I went in and came out ten minutes later and said, it cost me £3.50.!
"What do you mean," they asked me.
"I told them, you both paid on the way in but I paid on the way out."

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Dirty jokes Money jokes Sex Jokes Friendship Jokes Communication Jokes

Q: What deodorant do SEO consultants wear?
A: Lynx

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Office and Work Jokes Technology Jokes Computer Jokes Communication Jokes Internet Jokes

After my wife and her former best buddy, another Air Force wife, were separated by a move that posted one husband on the opposite coast, the telephone became their chief means of communication.
When our phone bills showed astronomical increases, the other spouse and I sought relief.
Since we both owned computers, we encourage our wives to use electronic mail.
Now they call on the phone to let each other know that e-mail was sent, then call back to confirm that it arrived and have a conversation about the contents.

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Military Jokes Money jokes Marriage and Family Jokes Computer Jokes Aviation Jokes Communication Jokes Phone jokes Boss Jokes

Q: What do you call a lеsвiаn with eight girlfriends?
A: An octopus.

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Lesbian jokes Ethnic and Racial Jokes Relationship Jokes Communication Jokes

When asked for his name by the coffee shop clerk, my brother-in-law answered, "Marc, with a C."
Minutes later, he was handed his coffee with his name written on the side: Cark.

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Customer service jokes Communication Jokes Stupid Jokes Coffee Jokes

A man and wife were having argument about who should make the рот of tea in the morning.
The wife told him that he should do it because he gets up first.
The husband said that she was in charge of the cooking in the house, making it her job.
The wife said that even the bible says that the man should do it.
The husband told her to show him and if it did he would make it.
She fetched the bible and opened up the new testament, showing him at the top of several pages that said "Hebrews".

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Marriage and Family Jokes Office and Work Jokes Men jokes Bible Jokes Communication Jokes

The new office-boy came into his boss's office and said, "I think you re wanted on the phone, sir."
"What d you mean, you think?" demanded the boss.
"Well, sir, the phone rang, I answered it and a voice said is that you, you old fool?"

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Office and Work Jokes Management Jokes Communication Jokes Phone jokes Boss Jokes

The buzzword of this election is "CHANGE."
Candidates toss it around without saying what they want to change to.
Just that we need CHANGE!
This brings to mind the following illustration...
Years ago, there was an old tale in the Marine Corps about a lieutenant who inspected his Marines and told the "Gunny" that they smelled bad.
The lieutenant suggested that they change their underwear.
The "Gunny" responded, "Aye, aye, sir. I'll see to it immediately."
He went into the tent and said, "The lieutenant thinks you guys smell bad, and he wants you to change your underwear. Smith, you change with Jones, McCarthy, you change with Witkowski, Brown, you change with Schultz..."
"Change, now get on with it!"
And the moral is: A candidate may promise change in Washington... but the stink remains!

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Military Jokes Political Jokes Communication Jokes

Knock-knock
Who's there?
Fuck.
Fuck who?
You.

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Knock-knock jokes Double Meaning and Wordplay Jokes Vulgar jokes Communication Jokes

My wife said to me, "For our anniversary I want to go somewhere I've never been before."
So I said, "Try the kitchen!"

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Marriage and Family Jokes Communication Jokes Travel and Tourist Jokes

Knock, knock!
Who's there?
Spell.
Spell who?
W-H-O.

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Knock-knock jokes Communication Jokes

A boastful hunter kept telling his buddies the same story, and they chided him for telling it over and over.
He reminded them that they often tell the same stories.
"Not so," said one friend. "We re-share, you repeat."

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Hunting Jokes Friendship Jokes Communication Jokes

My wife found a роrn magazine in our son's room the other day.
She showed it to me, and it was ВDSМ.
She asked me "What we should do?"
Me: "Probably not spank him."
She belted me with the magazine.
Now I know where he gets it from.

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Dirty jokes Marriage and Family Jokes Communication Jokes

How to speak Irish:
Whale
Oil
Beef
Hooked
Say them all quickly.

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Irish jokes Communication Jokes

Q: What are three words you dead the most while making love?
A: "Honey, I'm home."

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Cheating Jokes Dirty jokes Sex Jokes Communication Jokes Love Jokes

Q: What did the valentines day card say to the stamp?
A: Stick with me and you'll go places.

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Valentine's Day Jokes Communication Jokes Travel and Tourist Jokes