Communication Jokes

A mother without any pant was playing with her son.
The boy pointing to her mother's рussy asked: "Mammy, what is that dark wooly between your feet?
Mother: "My sweet that is a brush."
Son: "Where is it's bundle?"
Mother: "In your daddy's pant."

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Two dyslectic fellas sat in the kitchen...
Fella 1: "Ere, can you smell gas?"
Fella 2: "Who me? No... I can't even smell my own name!"

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Medical and Doctor Jokes Friendship Jokes Communication Jokes Stupid Jokes

"Have you got the address of the butter website?"
"Yes, but don't spread it around."

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Technology Jokes Computer Jokes Communication Jokes Internet Jokes

One day a priest told the Mother Superior that he was going into town and try to convert some ladies of the evening.
Later off he went and drove to a certain part of town known for the ladies of the evening.
The first one he approached asked him before he had a chance to say a word she said "heh Father, how about a little head for 10"
He was clueless and embarrassed and left quickly.
He approached another young woman and again before he could say a word she said "heh Father, how about a little head for 10?"
Again he left quickly and returned to the convent.
Once back he saw Mother Superior and quietly took him aside and whispered Mother Superior "what's head?"
She replied "$10.00 same as in town."

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Religion jokes Money jokes Dirty jokes Sex Jokes Priest Jokes Communication Jokes Priest Jokes

Client: "Please remove the unnecessary circle at the end of the sentence."
Me: "You mean... the period?"
Client: "I don't care what you designers call it; it is unsightly. Delete it."

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Car and driving jokes Office and Work Jokes Customer service jokes Communication Jokes Stupid Jokes

St. Peter was sat next to the god in heaven when the all of a sudden the pearly gates started to rattle.
God said to Peter,"go and see who is rattling the gates."
Peter ran down the stairway to heaven and opened the pearly gates and there stood a dirтy unwashed man in a vest.
Peter looked the man up and down and said "yes' can I help you?"
The man replied in a broad Irish accent, "Top of the mornin to ya sur, would the good lord have any scrap he be not wanting?"
St. Peter stood silent for a moment then said: "wait here a moment."
Peter shut the gate and ran back up the stairway to heaven and said to God, "It's Pykies my lord, wanting scrap."
God says to St. Peter "Shiт! Lock everything up and hide the keys, then go back down and tell them to вuggеr off!"
Peter runs down the stairway to heaven opens the gate and tells "the pykie to вuggеr off, slams the pearly gates shut and locks it. Peter returns to the lord."
God says to Peter, "we'll give it half hour then go and see if they have gone."
A half hour passed.
"Peter! Go and see if they have gone!"
Peter runs down the stairway to heaven then returns to God panting and says to God "They have gone, my Lord!"
"Good" says God, "and so have the pearly gates, my lord."

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Irish jokes God Jokes Communication Jokes Heaven And Hell Jokes Religion jokes Saint Peter and Pearly Gates Jokes

My dotor told me: "I've tow news for U; one good and the other one bad, which one do U prefer to hear first?"
I replied I prefer the good one.
Doctor: "U will die after next 24 hours!"
I told: "Then what is the bad newsrnDoctor: "I forgot to tell U yesterday!"

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Medical and Doctor Jokes Communication Jokes Sick and Death Jokes

A lawyer was asked if he likes to become a Jehovah's Witness.
He declined, as he hadn't seen the accident, but replied that he would still be interested in taking the case.

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Religion jokes Lawyer Jokes Communication Jokes

Q: What did Snow White say to Pinocchio when she was sitting on his face?
A: "Lie to me! Lie to me!"

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Dirty jokes Sex Jokes Communication Jokes

I spotted several pairs of men's Levi's at a garage sale. They were sizes 30, 31, and 32, but I was looking for size 33.
So I asked the owner if he had a pair. He shook his head.
"I'm still wearing the 33s," he said. "Come back next year."

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Men jokes Customer service jokes Communication Jokes

A guy and a girl are roommates in college.
The girl goes to a frat party, brings home another guy, fuскs him, and then decides the next morning that she likes her roommate and therefore it's not going to work out. After her fling left, her roommate came up to her and:
Him: "I think I found my soulmate in you..."
Her: "Really?!"
Him: "Yeah... uh... that guy you brought home last night?"
Her: "Oh yeah. I don't care about him anymore."
Him: "Great! So he's available?"

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Gay and Lesbian Jokes College jokes Communication Jokes Love Jokes

Q: Why was the wizard kicked out of school.
A: Because he forgot how to spell.

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School Jokes Communication Jokes

Two skeletons meet, and one asks the other, "Did you die before the Social Security reform, or after?"
"No, I'm still alive."

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Political Jokes Communication Jokes

Teacher: "Little Johnny can you say a sentence to use with dirтy words?
Little Johnny: "Yesterday my school was late so I had to run in order to reach on time."
Teacher: "You didn't use any bad word in your sentence."
Little Johnny: "Well, when I was running I farted many times!"

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School Jokes Little Johnny Jokes Dirty jokes Communication Jokes Fart Jokes

Son: "Mommy why doesn't Gandhi have hair?"
Mom: "Because he never lies."
Son: "Ohh now I see why ladies have long hair."

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Jokes about Women Kids Jokes Communication Jokes

Mr. and Mrs. Apostrophe are divorcing.
He found her to be possessive and she hated his contractions.
The marriage felt like a sentence.

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Marriage and Family Jokes Communication Jokes

This guy from up north just up and one day moved down south to start himself a farm.
He came across this man and asked him where he could get a good donkey to pull a cart and plow.
The man said I've got just what you need.
Only thing is down here we don't call them donkeys we call them an аss.
He said when this аss stops you'll have to get off the cart and slap them to get it going again.
The northern man thanks him and heads on his way.
He comes up to a man seeking chickens.
He says to the man, I'd like to buy a rooster and a hen.
The guy sai d sure thing but down here we don't call em roosters and hens.
We call them a соск and a pullet.
The man from up north says ok, thanks the man and is on his way.
He going along in his cart when his donkey stops in the middle of the road.
He remembers what the man said he had to do to get it going.
Just then a lady is walking by.
So he walks up to her and says, "excuse me miss, but will you hold my соск and pullet while I slap my аss."

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Animal Jokes Dirty jokes Men jokes Communication Jokes

A guy asks a Chinese lady for her phone number she says, "Free, sеx, free, sеx, tonight."
The guy said," wow" and her friend says she means 363629.

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Sex Jokes Jokes about Women Friendship Jokes Asian jokes Communication Jokes Phone jokes

A tomato walks into work and a potato says:
"Hello, Tomatoe..."
He responds: "My name is not Tomatoe, it's just Tomato. How would you like it if I called you "Potatoe"?
"Well, that would just be weird because my name is Rick!"

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Office and Work Jokes Food Jokes Communication Jokes

Little Johnny is sitting in class, the teacher is going over vocabulary words.
She asks the class to use a word in a sentence.
The teacher says the word is "contagious".
Johnny is waving his arm up and down, no other students have their arm up.
The teacher figures there is no way Johnny can come up something rude for this word, and she calls his name to use the word in a sentence.
Johnny says the other day, my dad and I were driving down the freeway and woman was painting a billboard, she was using a very small brush.
The teacher says "what does this have to do the word contagious?"
Johnny says "my dad turned to me and said: 'Son it is going to take that "сunт-ages" to paint that billboard with that little brush!'"
The teacher says, "never again!"

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Student jokes School Jokes Little Johnny Jokes Dad Jokes Communication Jokes