Ethnic and Racial Jokes

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Q: What's the difference between an Aboriginal and a park bench? A: The park bench can support a family of five but the Aboriginal can't. Kuo skiriasi parko suolelis nuo juodo vaikino? Parko suolas gali palaikyti šeimą. Czym się różni ławka od murzyna ? - Ławka może utrzymać rodzinę.
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INDIAN ECONOMICS
You have two cows.
You worship them.
PAKISTAN ECONOMICS
You don’t have any cows.
You claim that the Indian cows belong to you.
You ask the US for financial aid, China for military aid, Britain for warplanes, Italy for machines, Germany for technology, France for submarines, Switzerland for loans, Russia for drugs and Japan for equipment. You buy the cows with all this and claim of exploitation by the world.
AMERICAN ECONOMICS
You have two cows.
You sell one and force the other to produce the milk of four cows.
You profess surprise when the соw drops dead. You put the blame on some nation with cows & naturally that nation will be a danger to mankind. You wage a war to save the world and grab the cows.
FRENCH ECONOMICS
You have two cows.
You go on strike because you want three cows.
GERMAN ECONOMICS
You have two cows. You re-engineer them so that they live for 100 years, eat once a month and milk themselves.
BRITISH ECONOMICS
You have two cows.
They are both mad.
ITALIAN ECONOMICS
You have two cows.
You don’t know where they are. You break for lunch.
SWISS ECONOMICS
You have 5000 cows, none of which belong to you.
You charge others for storing them.
JAPANESE ECONOMICS
You have two cows.
You redesign them so that they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary соw and produce twenty times the milk.
You then create cute cartoon соw images called Cowkimon and market them worldwide.
RUSSIAN ECONOMICS
You have two cows.
You count them and learn you have five cows.
You count them again and learn you have 42 cows.
You count them again and learn you have 17 cows.
You give up counting and open another bottle of vоdка.
CHINESE ECONOMICS
You have two cows.
You have 300 people milking them.
You claim full employment, high bovine productivity and arrest anyone reporting the actual numbers.
SRI LANKAN ECONOMICS
You have a соw and a bull, you let the соw be president and the bull be prime minister and let them blame each other for the state the country is in.
Светска политика Voodoo Enronomics Η παγκόσμια οικονομία με παραδείγματα Funktionsweise verschiedener sozialer Systeme anhand eines einfachen Beispieles: Sozialismus Du besitzt zwei Kühe. Eine Kuh musst du deinem Nachbarn abgeben. Kommunismus Du besitzt zwei Kühe. Die Regierung nimmt dir beide weg und verkauft dir die Milch. Nationalsozialismus Du besitzt zwei Kühe.... SI al menos me lo hubieran explicado así en el colegio... SOCIALISMO Tienes 2 vacas... pero el Estado te ordena regalarle una a tu vecino. COMUNISMO Tienes 2 vacas. El estado te las quita y te regala la leche. FASCISMO Tienes 2 vacas. El estado te las quita y te vende la leche. NAZISMO Tienes... Какво е социализъм, комунизъм и капитализъм? Обясняваме с крави: Основни понятия Феодализъм: Имате 2 крави. Вашият господар прибира част от млякото. Социализъм: Имате 2 крави. Давате едната на съседа. Комунизъм: Имате 2 крави. Държавата прибира и двете крави и ви дава малко мляко.... Traditionell kapitalism: Du har två kor. Du säljer den ena och köper en tjur. Hjorden förökar sig och ekonomin växer. Du säljer dem och kan pensionera dig på inkomsten. Ett amerikanskt företag: Du... De verschillende economische systemen uitgelegd aan de hand van koeien *Socialisme* Je hebt twee koeien en je geeft er één aan je buurman die geen koeien heeft. *Communisme* Je hebt twee... Sosialismi: - Sinulla on kaksi lehmää. Valtio antaa toisen niistä naapureillesi. Fasismi: - Sinulla on kaksi lehmää. Hallitus ottaa molemmat ja ampuu sinut. Maolaisuus: - Sinulla on kaksi lehmää.... SOCIALISMO Tenés 2 vacas. Le regalás una a tu vecino. COMUNISMO Tenés 2 vacas. El estado te quita las dos y te regala un poco de la leche. FASCISMO Tenés 2 vacas. El estado te las quita y te vende... Capitalismo ideal: Você tem duas vacas. Vende uma e compra um touro. Eles se multiplicam, e a economia cresce. Você vende o rebanho e aposenta-se, rico! Capitalismo americano: Você tem duas vacas....
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A blonde joke An Irishman, an Aussie and a Blonde Guy were doing construction work on scaffolding on the 20th floor of a building. They were eating lunch and the Irishman said, "Corned beef and cabbage! If I get corned beef and cabbage one more time for lunch, I'm going to jump off this building." The Aussie opened his lunch box and exclaimed, "Steak again! If I get steak one more time I'm going to jump off, too." The blonde opened his lunch and said, strasburg again! If I get a strasburg sandwich one more time, I'm jumping too." The next day, the Irishman opened his lunch box, saw corned beef and cabbage, and jumped to his death. The Aussie opened his lunch, saw steak and jumped, too. The blonde guy opened his lunch, saw the strasburg and jumped to his death as well. At the funeral, the Irishman's wife was weeping. She said, "If I'd known how really tired he was of corned beef and cabbage, I never would have given it to him again!" The Aussie's wife also wept and said, "I could have given him ham & cheese! I didn't realise he hated steak so much." Everyone turned and stared at the blonde's wife. The blonde's wife said, "Don't look at me. He made his own lunch.
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