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Dirтy Places
Arsoli (Lazio, Italy)
Assonet (Massachusetts, USA)
Bastard (Norway)
Bastardstown (County Wexford, Ireland)
Bear Butte (South Dakota, USA)
Beaver (Oklahoma, USA)
Beaver Head (Idaho, USA)
Beaver Liск Baptist Church (11460 US Hwy 42; Union, KY 41091-9483;USA)
Big Воnе Liск State Park (Kentucky, south of Cincinnati; USA)
Bonar Bridge (Scotland)
Brown Willy (Cornwall,UK)
Bumpass Creek (Alabama, USA)
Butte City (Idaho, USA)
Butt's Corner (New York, USA)
Chinaman's Кnов (Australia)
Climax (Colorado, USA)
Climax Springs (Missouri, USA)
Cocksgag (Ohio, USA)
Cocke County (Tennessee, USA)
Cunt (Spain)
Cunter (Switzerland)
Devil's Dyке (United Kingdom)
Dikshit (India)
Dildo (Newfoundland, Canada)
Dong Rack (Thailand-Cambodia border)
Dongo (Congo - Democratic Republic)
Effin (Limerick, Ireland)
Erect (Randolph County, North Carolina, USA)
Fairy Glen (Saskatchewan, Canada)
Fanny Bay (Australia)
Fertile (Iowa, USA)
Flasher (North Dakota, USA)
Fucking (Part of the municipality of Tarsdorf, in the Innviertel region of Upper Austria)
Frenchman Butte (Saskatchewan, Canada)
Fuku (Shensi, China)
Fukue (Honshu, Japan)
Fukui (Honshu, Japan)
Fukum (Yemen)
Gayhead Island (Martha's Vineyard, MA.....yes there is a ferry to Gayhead Island)
Gaylordsville (Connecticut, USA)
Gassville (Arkansas, USA)
Gnaw Воnе (Indiana, USA)
Hardup (Utah, USA)
Hell (Michigan, USA)
Hold With Hope (Greenland)
Hookersville (West Virginia, USA)
Humptulips (Washington, USA)
Intercourse (Pennsylvania, USA)
Kisslegg (Bavaria, Germany)
Knob Liск (Kentucky, USA)
Koksoak River (Canada)
Lickey End (West Midlands, UK)
Lick Run (Pennsylvania, USA)
Likwang (China)
Little Dix Village (West Indies)
Lord Berkeley's Кnов (Sutherland, Scotland)
Middle Inтеrсоursе Island (Australia)
Moorhead (Mississippi, USA)
Muff (Northern Ireland)
Naked City (Indiana, USA)
Nobber (Donegal, Ireland)
Onenut (California, USA)
Packwood (Iowa, USA)
Penisthorpe (England, recently changed to Pensthorpe) Penistone (South Yorkshire, UK)
Pis Pis River (Nicaragua)
Sexmoan (Luzon, Philippines)
Seymen (Turkey)
Shafter (California, USA)
Shag Island (Indian Ocean)
Shitlingthorpe (Yorkshire, UK)
Slackbottom (Yorkshire, UK)
Smuts (Saskatchewan, Canada)
Stains (France)
Stillorgan (Ireland)
Smackover (Arkansas, USA)
Tingley (Iowa, USA)
Titisee (Freiburg, Germany)
Tittybong (Australia)
Tong Fuк (Japan)
Top Ryde (New South Wales, Australia)
Turdo (Romania)
Twatt (Orkney, UK)
Wank (Germany)
Wankendorf (Schleswig-Holstein, Germany)
Wankener (India)
Wankie (Zimbabwe)
Wankie Colliery (Zimbabwe)
Wanks River (Nicaragua)
Wankum (Germany)
Wet Веаvеr Creek (Australia)
While the pope was visiting the USA, he told the driver of his limo that he has the sudden urge to drive. The driver was a good Catholic man, and would not ever dream of questioning the pope's authority. So the pope sat at the wheel, while his driver got in the back.
They were traveling down the road doing between 70 and 80 mph, when a policeman happened to see them. As he pulled them over, he called in to headquarters reporting a speeding limo, with a VIP inside it.
The chief asked:
"Who is in the limo, the mayor?"
The policeman told him:
"No, someone more important than the mayor."
Then the chief asked "Is it the governor?"
The policeman answered:
"No, someone more important than the governor."
The chief finally asked:
"Is it the President?"
The policeman answered:
"No, someone even more important than the President."
This made the chief very angry and he bellowed:
"Now who is more important than the President?!"
The policeman calmly wispered:
"I'll put it to you this way chief. I don't know who is this guy, but he has the pope as his chauffeur."
Two elderly couples were enjoying friendly conversation when one of the men asked the other, "Fred, how was the memory clinic you went to last month?"
"Outstanding," Fred replied.
"They taught us all the latest psychological techniques, visualization, association,it made a huge difference for me."
"That's great! What was the name of the clinic?"
Fred went blank He thought and thought, but couldn't remember.
Then a smile broke across his face and he asked, "What do you call that flower with the long stem and thorns?"
"You mean a rose?"
"Yes, that's it!"
He turned to his wife, "Rose, what was the name of that clinic?"
There is an overweight guy who is watching TV. A commercial comes on for a guaranteed weight loss of 10 pounds in a week. So the guy, thinking what the hеll, signs up for it. Next morning an incredibly beautiful woman is standing at his door in nothing but a pair of running shoes and a sign about her neck that reads, "If you can catch me, you can have me." As soon as he sees her, she takes off running. He tries to catch her, but is unable. This continues for a week, at the end of which, the man has lost 10 pounds. After this he tries the next weight loss plan, 15 pounds in a week. The next morning an even more beautiful woman is standing at the door, in similar conditions. The same happens with her as the first woman, except he almost catches her. This continues for a week, at the end of which he, as suspected, weighs 15 pounds less. Excited about this success, he decides to do the master program. Before he signs up, he is required to sign a waiver and is warned about the intensity of this plan. Still he signs up. The next morning, waiting at the door, is a hulking 300 pound muscle man with nothing but a pair of running shoes, a raging еrестiоn, and a sign around his neck that says, "If I catch you, you're mine!" The man was supposed to lose 25 pounds in the week; he lost 34.
A guy decides that maybe he'd like to have a pet and goes to a pet shop.
After looking around he spots a parrot sitting on a little perch; it doesn't have any feet or legs.
The guy says out loud, "Geez, I wonder what happened to this parrot?"
"I was born this way," says the parrot. "I'm a defective parrot."
"Ha, ha," the guy laughs. "It sounded like this parrot actually understood what I said and answered me."
"I understand every word," says the parrot. "I am a highly intelligent and thoroughly educated bird."
"Yeah?" the guy asks. "Then answer this: how do you hang onto your perch without any feet?"
"Well," the parrot says, "this is a little embarrassing, but since you asked, I will tell you. I wrap my little parrot реnis around this wooden bar, kind of like a little hook. You can't see it because of my feathers."
"Wow," says the guy, "you really can understand and answer; can't you?"
"Of course. I speak both Spanish and English. I can converse with reasonable competence on almost any subject: politics, religion, sports, physics, philosophy. And I am especially good at ornithology. You should buy me; I am a great companion."
The guy looks at the $200.00 price tag.
He says. "I can't afford that."
"Pssst," the parrot hisses, motioning the guy over with one wing. "Nobody wants me because I don't have any feet. You can get me for $20.00; just make an offer."
The guy offers twenty dollars and walks out with the parrot.
Weeks go by and the parrot is sensational.
He's funny; he's interesting; he's a great pal, he understands everything, sympathizes, and gives good advice.
The guy is delighted.
One day the guy comes home from work and the parrot says, "Pssst," and motions him over with one wing.
The guy goes up close to the cage.
"I don't know if I should tell you this or not," says the parrot, "but it's about your lover and the mailman."
"What?" asks the guy.
"Well," the parrot says, "when the mailman came to the door today, your lover greeted him in a pair of briefs that showed everything and kissed him on the mouth."
"What happened then?" asks the guy.
"Then the mailman came into the house and put his hand on your lovers crotch and began petting him all over," reports the parrot.
"My God!" the guy says. "Then what?"
"Then he pulled down the briefs, got down on his knees and began to liск him, starting with his chest, slowly going down and down."
The parrot pauses for a long time...
"What happened? What happened?" says the frantic guy.
"That's what рissеs me off. I don't know." said the parrott. "I got a hard-on, and fell off my fuскing perch."
One fine day, a bus driver went to the bus garage, started his bus, and drove off along the route. No problems for the first few stops, a few people got on, a few got off, and things went generally well.
At the next stop, however, a big hulk of a guy got on. Six foot eight, built like a wrestler, arms hanging down to the ground. He glared at the driver and said, "Big John doesn't pay!" and sat down at the back. Did I mention that the driver was five feet three, thin, and basically meek? Well, he was. Naturally, he didn't argue with Big John, but he wasn't happy about it.
The next day the same thing happened - Big John got on again, made a show of refusing to pay, and sat down. And the next day, and the one after that, and so forth. This grated on the bus driver, who started losing sleep over the way Big John was taking advantage of him. Finally he could stand it no longer. He signed up for body building courses, karate, judo, and all that good stuff. By the end of the summer, he had become quite strong; what's more, he felt really good about himself.
So on the next Monday, when Big John once again got on the bus and said, "Big John doesn't pay!", the driver stood up, glared back at the passenger, and screamed, "And why not?"
With a surprised look on his face, Big John replied, "Big John has a bus pass."