Light bulb jokes

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How many Wall Street protesters does it take to change a light bulb?
None, they can't change a thing.

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If you give three liberals a light bulb what would happen?
The first one would say its causing global warming.
The second one would say its racist.
The third one would say its not a light bulb unless Obama says let there be light.

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How did the black guy escape from jail?
He unscrewed the light bulbs.

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How many men does it take to sсrеw a light bulb?
A. One - men will sсrеw anything.
B. One - men will sсrеw up anything.
C. Five - one to actually do the sсrеwing, four to listen to him brag about it.

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Q: How many dead babies does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: I don't know, there are twenty in my basement, and my basement light still isn't fixed.

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Q: How many University Graduates does it take to change a light bulb?
A: One, but it may take up to seven years!

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Q: How many Irishmen does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Two - one to hold the bulb, and one to drink until the room starts spinning.

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Q: How many Republicans does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Three. One to hire a Mexican guy and two to deport him when he's done.

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Q: How many hipsters does it take to sсrеw in a lightbulb?
A: You wouldn't know, it's kind of an obscure number.

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Q: How many Microsoft executives does it take to change a light bulb?
A: We can see no need for uninstallation and have therefore made no provision for light bulbs to be removed.

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Q: How many telemarketers does it take to change a light-bulb?
A: Only one, but she has to do it while you're eating dinner.

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How many Microsoft programmers does it take to start the November 5th bonfire?
Zero Microsoft declares darkness to be a new standard.

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Q: How many Accountants does it take to change a light bulb?
A: What sort of answer did you have in mind?
A: None - just assume it's changed.

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Q: How many cost accountants does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Hmmm... I'll just do a few numbers and get back to you.

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How many cops does it take to change a lightbulb?
None. They just beat the room for being black.

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How many prolog programmers does it take to change a lightbulb?
Yes.

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Q: How many atheists does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Two. One to actually change the bulb, and the other to videotape the job so fundamentalists won't claim that god did it.

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Q: How many Object Oriented programmers does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: None, they send it a message, and it changes itself.

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How many blondes does it take to sсrеw in a light bulb?
Too many to count.

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How many Germans does it take to sсrеw in a light bulb?
Just one. They’re fiercely efficient and not really given to jokes.

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