Little Johnny Jokes

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During one of her daily classes, a teacher trying to teach good manners, asked her students the following question: ‘
Michael, if you were on a date having dinner with a nice young lady, how would you tell her that you have to go to… the bathroom?’
Michael said: ‘Just a minute I have to go рее.’
The teacher responded by saying: ‘That would be rude and impolite‚. What about you Sherman, how would you say it?’
Sherman said: ‘I am sorry, but I really need to go to the bathroom. I’ll be right back.
‘ ‘That’s better, but it’s still not very nice to say the word bathroom at the dinner table.
And you, little Johnny, can you use your brain for once and show us your good manners?’
Johnny said: ‘I would say: Darling, may I please be excused for a moment? I have to shake hands with a very dear friend of mine, whom I hope to introduce to you after dinner.’
The teacher was speechless….
Как един мъж ще каже тактично на една жена, с която е на вечеря в ресторант, че отива до тоалетната: During class, a teacher trying to teach good manners, asks the students: "Students, If you were on a date, having supper with a nice young lady, how would you tell her that you have to go to the... Во бон тон школо и добро однесување седат група млади и слушаат предавање. Младата професорка поставува прашање: - Перо, и се удвараш на девојка од добра и угледна фамилија, образована и ја... Durante una clase de moral y buenas maneras, la profesora dice a sus alumnos: - Miguel, si fueras a cortejar a una joven de buena familia, muy bien educada, durante una cena íntima para dos, y tuvieras necesidad de ir a los servicios, ¿qué dirías? - Espérame un momento, que voy a echar una... Dozent macht Benimmunterricht mit drei Bankern. Er fragt den ersten: "Sie haben eine charmante junge Dame zum Essen in ein Restaurant eingeladen und muessen mal auf die Toilette. Was sagen Sie?" Antwortet der erste von der Sparkasse: "Was soll ich da schon gross sagen? Ich sag halt: 'Also,... Drei Banker sind bei einem Benimm-Kurs und werden von der Trainerin gefragt, wie sie sich bei einem feinen Abendessen mit einer Dame verhalten, wenn Sie merken, dass sie ein dringendes Bedürfnis... Pendant une classe où l'on enseignait la morale et les bonnes manières, l'institutrice demande aux élèves: La prof : « Albert, comment ferais tu si tu courtisais une fille pendant un dîner et que tu avais envie d’aller au toilettes ? » Albert : « Attends je vais pisser ! » La prof : « Mais, c’est... Öğretmen, 8_10 yaşındaki erkek çocukları biraraya toplamış, nezaket, görgü kuralları ve yaşam dersleri veriyormuş. 'Michael' demiş, - 'Genç bir hanımla ilk kez akşam yemeğine çıkıyorsun. Masaya... Pewna francuska gazeta ogłosiła konkurs z następującym pytaniem dla panów: - "Siedzisz w eleganckiej restauracji z bardzo piękną kobietą. Masz pilną potrzebę wyjścia do toalety". W jaki sposób... During one of her daily classes, a teacher trying to teach good manners, asked her students the following question: - Michael, if you were on a date having dinner with a nice young lady, how would... A vendéglőben ül a pár az első randijukon, amikor a pasinak pisilnie kell. Így szól a hölgyhöz: - Elnézést, magára hagyom pár percre, mert szeretnék kezet fogni azzal a barátommal, akit még ma este... In timpul orei de dirigentie, profesorul tine o lectie De morala si bune maniere. - Va place o tanara domnisoara si ii faceti curte cu Insistenta; seara mergeti la un restaurant elegant, Pentru o... Učitel vykládá svým studentům o dobrých mravech a ptá se jednoho po druhém: „Tak Michaeli, kdybyste byl na schůzce s děvčetem a seděli byste v restauraci, jak byste jí řekl, že potřebujete na...
School Jokes Little Johnny Jokes Friendship Jokes
Mr. Dickson, the science teacher, asked his 4th graders one day if anyone knew how to put 2 holes into 1 hole.
Since no one was able to answer the question, he told the kids to go home and ask their fathers.
They came back the next day and still no one knew the answer.
“Look,” said Mr. Dickson while holding his index finger against his thumb, forming a little “zero."
"This is one hole, my nose has 2 holes, and I can put my hand over my nose and make my nose holes appear inside this other hole.”
“Aaaaaaahhhhhh,” said the children.
The next day, Little Johnny stood up and said, “Mr. Dickson,my daddy wants to know if you know how to put 7 holes in 1 hole.
“Hmmmm,” he thought, “How can you put 7 holes in 1? Well, I’ll be darned; I don’t know how to do that. Um, did your father tell you how to?”
Yes,” said Little Johnny, “You take a flute and shove it up your аss !”
School Jokes Little Johnny Jokes Kids Jokes Science jokes
The kids filed back into class Monday morning.
They were very excited. Their weekend assignment was to sell something, then share with the class how they were successful.
Little Mary led off, “I sold girl scout cookies and I made $30,” she said proudly, “my sales approach was to appeal to the customer’s civil spirit and I credit that approach for my success.”
“Very good,” said the teacher.
Little Sally was next, “I sold magazines,” she said, “I made $45 and I explained to everyone that magazines would keep them abreast of current events.”
“Very good, Sally,” said the teacher.
Eventually, it was Little Johnny’s turn. The teacher held her breath. Little Johnny walked to the front of the classroom and dumped a box full of cash on the teacher’s desk. “$2,467″ he said.
“$2,467!” cried the teacher, “What in the world were you selling?”
“Toothbrushes,” said Little Johnny .
“Toothbrushes?” echoed the teacher, “How could you possibly sell enough toothbrushes to make that much money?”
“I found the busiest corner in town,” said Little Johnny , “I set up a chocolate chip cookie stand and gave everybody who walked by a free sample.
They all said, “This tastes like SНIТ!” Then I replied, “It is. Wanna buy a toothbrush?”
School Jokes Money jokes Little Johnny Jokes Kids Jokes Chocolate Jokes
- Мамо, мамо, а пък днес в училище Гошко си показа пишката! Момиченце се връща от училище: Две блондинки говорят: - Вчера влязох в мъжката тоалетна и представи си, видях пениса на шефа. - А как е? - Ами за моя вкус, прекалено солен. Разговараат две плавуши: - Вчера го промашив женското ВЦ и влегов во машкото. Замисли му го видов пенисот на шефот. - И каков му е? - Па за мој вкус премногу киселкасто - солен. Little Johnny... Peanut Little Sally came home from school with a smile on her face, and told her mother, - Mamá, mamá, Pablito tiene la pilila como un cacahuete Дочь подходит к маме. Un enfant a sa mère : - Maman, maman la zigounette de theo on dirait une cacahuète ! - Pourquoi tu dis ça Kevin, parce qu'elle est petite ? - Non parce qu'elle est salée... - Maman , Maman ! Raphael m'a montré son zizi a la recré hier ! - Ah bon ? - Oui c'etait un peu comme une cacahuète. - C'etait petit ? - Non , salé ! Το πουλάκι. Τυρογαριδάκι Lilla Sally kom hem från skolan med ett leende på läpparna och berättade för sin mamma: - Olle visade snoppen för mig idag! - Vad säger du, flicka? - Mmm.. Den påminde om en jordnöt. - Jaså? sa... – Mamma! Kusin Mahmoud har en snopp som en jordnöt! – Är den så liten? – Nej, men den smakar salt. Prvňačka Anička přišla domů ze školy a říká mamince: „Mami, představ si, že Honzík má penis jako burský oříšek.” Matka, celá zhrozená o čem dcera vypráví, se jí ptá: „Takový malý?” „Malý ne, ale...
Little Johnny Jokes One-Liner Jokes
One day in class, the teacher brought a bag full of fruit and said, "Now class, I'm going to reach into the bag and describe a piece of fruit and you tell me which fruit I'm talking about. Alright, the first one is round, plump, and red. Little Johnny raised his hand high but the teacher ignored him and picked Deborah who promptly answered, "Apple." The teacher replied, "No Deborah, it's a beet, but I like your thinking. Now the second one is soft, fuzzy and colored red and brown." Johnny is hopping up and down in his seat trying to get the teacher to call on him but she calls on Billy. "Is it a peach?" Billy asks. "No, it's a potato, but I like your thinking," the teacher replies. "Okay the next one is long, yellow, and fairly hard." Johnny is about to explode as he waves his hand frantically but the teacher calls on Sally who say, "A banana." The teacher responds, "No, it's a squash, but I like your thinking." Johnny is irritated now so he speaks up loudly, "Hey, I've got one for you teacher. Let me put my hand in my pocket. Okay, I've got it. It's round, hard, and it's got a head on it."
"Johnny!" she cries, "That's disgusting!"
"Nope," answers Johnny, "It's a quarter, but I like your thinking!"
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