School Jokes

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The kids doing drugs should be the only ones expected to get an 'A' in chemistry. 'Alright, I'll let you students know only one of you received 100% on the final lab exam: Brad Catlet for turning in the ounce of crystal метh.'

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Partying and Bad Behavior Jokes Kids Jokes School Jokes

Teacher: What do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?
Student: A teacher!

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School Jokes Communication Jokes

Teacher: Tomorrow there will be a lecture on Sun.
Everyone must attend it.
Mary: No madam! I will not be able to attend it.
Teacher: Why?
Mary: My mother will not allow me to go so far!

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School Jokes

What’s the difference between an art student and a philosophy student? … …
…
A philosophy student asks you why you want fries with that

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School Jokes Philosophy Jokes

A child at a Christian school was studying the early days of Mormonism in his class. He wrote on his paper,
“The early Mormons believed in having more than one wife. This is called polygamy. But we believe in having only one wife. This is called monotony”

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Religion jokes School Jokes Christian Jokes

One day a college student comes home for spring break, and he and his dad start a conversation.

"So how are your classes?" Asks the father.

"Good."

"How is the football team playing this year?"

"Okay."

"Making new friends?"

"Some."

"What are you thinking of majoring in?"

"Communications."

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College jokes Friendship Jokes Dad Jokes School Jokes Military Jokes

Tequila is an excellent teacher...
Just last night it taught me to count...
One Tequila, Two Tequila, Three Tequila, Floor!

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One-Liner Jokes Drinking and Drunk Jokes Bar and Bartender Jokes School Jokes

These are real notes written from parents in a Mississippi School District. (Spellings have been left intact.) My son is under a doctor's care and should not take P.E. today. Please execute him. Please excuse Lisa for being absent. She was sick and I had her shot. Dear School: Please ekscuse John being absent on Jan. 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, and also 33 Please excuse Roland from P.E. for a few days.Yesterday he fell out of a tree and misplaced his hip. John has been absent because he had two teeth taken out of his face. Chris will not be in school cus he has an acre in his side. Please excuse Jimmy for being. It was his father's fault. I kept Billie home because she had to go Christmas shopping because I don't know what size she wear. Please excuse Jennifer for missing school yesterday. We forgot to get the Sunday paper off the porch, and when we found it Monday, we thought it was Sunday. Maryann was absent December 11-16, because she had a fever, sore throat, headache and upset stomach. Her sister was also sick, fever and sore throat, her brother had a low grade fever and ached all over. I wasn't the best either, sore throat and fever. There must be something going around, her father even got hot last night.

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Medical and Doctor Jokes Christmas Jokes Monday jokes School Jokes

At my 40th high school reunion a friend asked me, ‘Why didn’t we have a drug problem when we were growing up?’ …
….
I replied that I had a drug problem when I was young: …
…
I was drug to church on Sunday morning. …
….
I was drug to church for weddings and funerals. ….
….
I was drug to family reunions and community socials no matter the weather. ….
….
I was drug by my ears when I was disrespectful to adults.
I was also drug to the woodshed when I disobeyed my parents, told a lie, brought home a bad report card, did not speak with respect, spoke ill of the teacher or the pastor.
I was drug to the kitchen sink to have my mouth washed out with soap if I uttered a profanity.
I was drug out to pull weeds in mom or grandma’s garden and flower beds.
Those drugs are still in my veins and they affect my behavior in everything I do, say, or think. They are stronger than сосаinе, сrаск, or hеrоin, and if today’s children had this kind of drug problem, the USA would be a better place.
God bless the parents who drugged us.

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Friendship Jokes School Jokes Marriage and Family Jokes God Jokes USA Jokes

One day Little Billy is at school showing off his new Spiderman watch. When Little Johnny spots it he asks, “How did you get that watch?”
“I walked in on my Mum & Dad having sеx.” explained Billy “My Dad shouted at me, then later came to apologise and bought me this new watch to say sorry”.
That night Johnny had a plan, he’d stay awake until he heard his Mum & Dad getting down to it and then burst in on them and maybe get a watch for himself. Everything went to plan and as he burst in shouting,
“I wanna watch!”
“Go get yourself a chair and be quiet then.” replied his Dad.

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Sex Jokes School Jokes

I drink every night. I still haven't gotten over the fact that I don't have school tomorrow.

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School Jokes Partying and Bad Behavior Jokes

The parents were very disappointed in the grades that their son brought home.
“The only consolation I can find in these awful grades,” lamented the
father, “is that I know he never cheated during his exams.”

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School Jokes

A man walks into a drug store with his 8 year old son. They happen to walk by the соndом display, and the boy asks, "What are these, Dad?"

The man, matter-of-factly, replies, "Those are called condoms, son. Men use them to have safe sеx."

"Oh I see," replied the boy pensively. "Yes, I've heard of that in health class at school."

He looks over the display and picks up a package of three and asks, "Why are there three in this package."

The dad replies, "Those are for high school boys. One for Friday, one for Saturday, and one for Sunday."

"Cool!" says the boy. He notices a pack of six and asks "Then who are these for?"

"Those are for college men," the dad answers. "Two for Friday, two for Saturday, and two for Sunday."

"WOW!" exclaimed the boy. "Then who uses these?" he asks, picking up a 12-pack.

With a sigh, the dad replied, "Those are for married men. One for January, one for February, one for March..."

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Sex Jokes School Jokes Marriage and Family Jokes Men jokes Dad Jokes Love Jokes

Teacher: What do you all aspire to become?

Student 1: A Doctor!

Student 2: An Engineer!

Student 3: A Lawyer!

Student 4: I just want to watch and see whether they'll become what they say they'll become."

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College jokes Medical and Doctor Jokes Lawyer Jokes School Jokes

Teacher: Daniel, I’ve had to send you to the principal every day this week.
What do you have to say for yourself?
Daniel: I’m glad it’s Friday!

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School Jokes

A college student said to his mother, “I decided that I want to be a political science major and that I want to clean up the mess in the world!”
“That is very nice,” muted his mother. “You can go upstairs and start with your room.”

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Political Jokes Science jokes College jokes School Jokes Military Jokes

Little Johnny’s teacher was grading student essays about actual family experiences. She came upon Little Johnny’s paper entitled, “The time my dad told me to jump out of the tree and he would catch me.”

Tearing up his teacher knew she’d been too hard on little Johnny for misbehaving and such. She felt terrible just knowing how hard his life must be. Not wanting to read each painful word she decided to give Little Johnny an 'A' without reading it.

Surprised to see an 'A', Johnny was quite puzzled. He thought to himself, "My teacher couldn’t have like the part when my dad caught me and told me that some people can be trusted. She must have liked the part where I stomped on his big toe and called him a wimp."

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Marriage and Family Jokes Little Johnny Jokes Dad Jokes School Jokes

How many schoolteachers does it take to change a light bulb?
None. Anything not completed during the lesson is added to the homework.

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School Jokes

Question : What is love and explain in details ?.........(40 marks)
USA's Student.......
Answer: Love is life.
(marks : 10 from 40)
UK's Student......
Answer : Love is pain.
(marks : 10 from 40)
Indian Student........Answer :
.
Definition:
A serious disorder of heart due to relationship between men & women that can cause death of 1 or both depending on the resistance associated
- TYPES:
1 sided & 2 sided
- AGE:
Usually occurs in teenages but nowdays can be found in any age
- SYMPTOMS:
Tension
Daydreaming
Insomnia
Phone Addiction
- DIAGNOSIS BY:
Diary
Photos
Mobile
- TREATMENT:
Anti-LOVE therapy by Father's Shoe
or
Mother's Sandal......
(marks 40 from 40) Excellent !

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Relationship Jokes School Jokes Cowboys and Indians Jokes

Fifty Children’s Books Now At Your Local Library
1-10
You are Different and That’s Bad
Take a Walk Down the Railroad Tracks with Me
Dad’s New Wife ‘Greg’
Fun Four-Letter Words to Know and Share
Hammers, Screwdrivers and Scissors: An “I-Can-Do-It” Book:
A Children’s Guide to Hitchhiking
Kathy Was So Bad Her Mommy Stopped Loving Her
Curious George and the High-Voltage Fence
All Cats Go to hell
How to Kick Аss At School
11-20
Some Kittens Can Fly
Adoption: A Fresh Start
Grandpa’s new Casket
Fun With Abandoned Refrigerators
Garfield Gets Feline Leukemia
The Pop-Up Book of Human Anatomy
Strangers Have the Best Candy
Whining, Kicking and Crying to Get your Way
Why You Were An Accident
Things Rich Kids Have, But You Never Will
21-30
Pop! Goes the Hamster, And Other Great Microwave Games
The Man in the Moon is Actually Satan
Nightmares: Be Afraid, Be Very Afraid
A Child’s Guide to Final Arrangements
Eggs, Toilet paper, and your School
Why Can’t Mr. Fork and Ms. Electrical Outlet Be Friends?
Places Where Mommy and Daddy Hide Neat Things
Daddy Drinks Because You Cry
The Surprise at the Bottom of the Pool
If It Feels Good, Touch It!
31-40
Making Grown-Up Friends On The Internet
101 Fun Games To Play In The Road
You Can’t Help It If You’re Stupid
Patty Went Splat! (Don’t YOU Forget Your Seatbelt)
Bullies Have More Fun
Mommy’s Got A New Baby To Love
Timmy’s The Wrong Color To Be Your Friend
I Dare You! 101 Challenges To Prove You’re Not A Sissy
Michael Jackson’s “Fun” Place
Harry Potter and the Sтоnеd Sorcerer
41-50
Why Does Mommy Almost Sneeze So Much in Her Bedroom?
Who’s My Daddy?
Small Objects and Electrical Outlets
Different Daddies Each Day of the Week
Operation and Nomenclature of the Colt 1911 45 ACP
Little Hands, Big Toasters
How To Make A Plastic Bag Space Helmet
Santa Claus And Other Lies Your Parents Told You
Why Don’t We Celebrate Father’s Day Like Other Kids?
Fun With Things Under The Kitchen Sink

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Christmas Jokes School Jokes Kids Jokes Make My Day Laughs Men jokes Double Meaning and Wordplay Jokes Friendship Jokes Dad Jokes Internet Jokes Harry Potter Jokes