School jokes, Teacher Jokes

Teacher: Where is your homework?
Pupil: I lost it fighting this kid who said you weren’t the best teacher in the school.

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School Jokes

This fuel shortage is very worrying. Its been reported that some parents have had to walk for up to 5 whole minutes to take their children to school.

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British Jokes School Jokes

A man in a hurry taking his eight-year-old son to school made a turn at a red light where it was prohibited.
"Uh-oh, I think I just made an illegal turn!" the man said.
"It's okay, Dad," the boy said, "The police car right behind us did the same thing."

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Kids Jokes Police Officer Jokes School Jokes

The teacher asks a student "If you have $5 and billy takes $3, how much do you have left?"
The student replies "Not enough for fuскing lunch and billy ain't gonna have no got dамn teeth left stealing my 3 dollars."

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School Jokes Money jokes Vulgar jokes Student jokes Math Jokes

My math teacher called me average...
How mean!

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Math Jokes School Jokes

A kid came home from school and asked his dad, "Dad, I heard some kids talking about a thing called a vаginа. What is a vаginа, and what does it look like?"
"Well, son, before sеx it looks like a beautiful unopened rose."
"Wow, what does it look like after sеx?"
"Well, son, have you ever seen a bulldog eating mayonaise?"

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Sex Jokes School Jokes Kids Jokes Dirty jokes Dad Jokes

A math teacher asks a pupil, what are 3, 5, 7 and 11?
The pupil thinks for a moment and then replies, "On 3 there is cartoon network, on 5 we have cartoon network, on 7 dad checks out news-bulletin and the channel that comes by pressing 11 on the remote is FTV, which my brother watches late at night."

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News and Politics Jokes Technology Jokes Kids Jokes Dad Jokes Math Jokes School Jokes

In high school, Chuck Norris was voted "Most."

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School Jokes Chuck Norris Jokes

A teacher in a political science class asked the students, "Who is the most powerful person in the US?"
A student answered, "The First Pet?"
The teacher then asked, "Why?"
The student explained, "Because, the president kneels before him, talks to him, listens to him, follows him, prefers him to office staff, looks after his wellbeing before the voters', cancels/defers official duties in favor of him, and boards Airforce One first."

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Science jokes Office and Work Jokes Political Jokes School Jokes

TEACHER: Why would you paint something black?
STUDENT: So it runs faster.

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Ethnic and Racial Jokes Kids Jokes School Jokes

A kid walks up to his teacher and says "When is lunch."
The teacher said "When its my break."
"Your break for what? the kid asks.
"My break up" the teacher said.

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Food Jokes School Jokes Kids Jokes Relationship Jokes

A student called her best friend and said that she had some great news.
“The teacher told me that we had to do a test today in rain or shine,” she told her.
“Why is that great,” her friend asked.
“It’s snowing today!”

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News and Politics Jokes School Jokes Friendship Jokes

Chuck Norris graduated from the School of Hard Knocks with an MBA - Mega Bad Аss.

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School Jokes Chuck Norris Jokes

College meals are generally unpopular with those who have to eat them - and sometimes with good reason. “What kind of pie do you call this?” asked one student indignantly.
“What’s it taste like?” asked the cook.”
“Glue!”
“Then it’s apple pie - the plum pie tastes like soap.”

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College jokes School Jokes Military Jokes

The income tax expert was visiting the school to talk about taxes. “I’m going to tell you now about “indirect” taxes. Can anybody tell me what an indirect tax is?”
“A dog license,” said Smart Josh.
“And why is that?” asked the expert.
“The dog doesn’t pay it,” replied Josh.

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Business jokes School Jokes Dog jokes

There is an apartment with 3 stories. A white family lives in the top, a mexican family live in the middle, and a black family lives in the bottom. A tornado comes and wipes out the apartment. Who survives?
The white family because the parents were at work and the kids were at school!

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Ethnic and Racial Jokes Office and Work Jokes School Jokes Marriage and Family Jokes Kids Jokes

Teacher: Billy, how do you spell "Crocodile"?
Billy: ‘K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L'
Teacher: No, that's wrong
Billy: Maybe it's wrong, but you ask me how I spell it!

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Kids Jokes School Jokes Animal Jokes

An English teacher asked her class to write an essay on what they'd do if they had a million dollars.
Alec handed in a blank sheet of paper.
'Alec !' yelled the teacher, 'you've done nothing.
Why?'
'Because if I had a million dollars, that's exactly what I would do !'

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Money jokes School Jokes

A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood.
Trying to make the matter clearer, he said:
"Now, students, if I stood on my head the blood, as you know, would run into it, and I should turn red in the face."
"Yes, sir," the boys said.
"Then why is it that while I am standing upright in the ordinary position the blood doesn't run into my feet?"
A little fellow shouted, "It's because yer feet ain't empty."

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School Jokes Student jokes

1. You read the Auto Trader with a highlight pen.
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2. The Salvation Army declines your mattress.
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3. The taillight covers of your car are made of red tape.
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4. Birds are attracted to your beard.
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5. Your wife’s job requires her to wear an orange vest.
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6. Your school fight song was “Dueling Banjos”
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7. You think a chain saw is a musical instrument.
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8. Your coffee table used to be a cable spool.
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9. You keep a can of RAID on the kitchen table.
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10. There are more than five McDonald’s bags in your car.
…
Attribution: Jeff Foxworthy

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Stupid Jokes School Jokes Military Jokes Coffee Jokes