School jokes, Teacher Jokes

Little Johnny came home from school and heard the word "b*tch." He asks his mom what the word meant and she responds, "It means priest." The next day little Johnny comes home and hears the word "sh*t" and asks his dad what it means. His dad answers, "It means food on the table." At school, he hears the word "f*cking" and asks his mom what it means. She responds, "It means getting ready." The next day a priest came over for dinner and little Johnny opened the door and says, "Hey son of a b*tch. There's sh*t on the table and my parents are upstairs f*cking!"

0 0

Teacher: “You know you can’t sleep in my class.”
Boy: “I know. But maybe if you were just a little quieter, I could.”

41 0

School Jokes

Little Johnny's teacher asks him, "If I have 5 cookies, and I give you 2, how many cookies do I have left?"
Little Johnny replies, "Zero, you're giving me more than just 3 cookies. I'm taking all 5 baby!"
The teacher just facepalms herself. "I can strongly suggest that you work on your math skills Johnny." the teacher suggests.
"Oh I know math, one man plus one girl, subtract a соndом, equals a baby!" Little Johnny says.

49 0

School Jokes Little Johnny Jokes Dirty jokes Math Jokes Baby Jokes

Math Teacher:
"If I have 5 bottles in one hand and 6 in the other hand, what do I have?"
Student:
"A drinking problem."

172 1

School Jokes Math Jokes

Once there was a little boy who lived in the country. For facilities, they had to use an outhouse. The little boy hated it because it was hot in the summer, cold in the winter and smelled all the time. The outhouse was sitting on the bank of a creek and the boy determined that one day he would push that outhouse into the water.

One day after a spring rain, the creek was swollen so the little boy decided today was the day to push the outhouse into the creek. So he got a large stick and pushed. The outhouse toppled into the creek and floated away. That night his dad told him they were going to the woodshed after supper. Knowing that meant a spanking, the little boy asked why.

The dad replied, "Someone pushed the outhouse into the creek today. It was you, wasn't it, son?"

The boy answered yes. Then he thought a moment and said, "Dad, I read in school today that George Washington chopped down a cherry tree and didn't get into trouble because he told the truth."

The dad replied, "Well, son, George Washington's father wasn't in that cherry tree at the time."

0 0

School Jokes Farmer Jokes Dad Jokes Banker Jokes

School shooting happens
Foreign exchange student: Sobbing under desk
American student: “First time?”

8 0

School Jokes USA Jokes Student jokes American Jokes

Professor: And now, Mr. Jones, what do you know about French syntax?

Student: I didn't know they had to pay any.

0 0

College jokes School Jokes

Little Johnny was sitting in class, and he was behind a girl called Sally. The teacher asks the class, “Who created the Earth?” And Little Johnny pokes Sally in the back with his sharpened pencil, and she jumps and says, “MY GOD!” And the teacher says, “Yes, Sally, God did create the Earth.” Sally sits down. Then, the teacher asks, “Where do you go after you live a good life?” and Little Johnny pokes Sally again, and she jumps up and says, “HEAVENS TO BETSY!” And the teacher says, “Yes Sally. You will go to heaven after you live a good life.” Sally sits down, knowing full well Little Johnny was poking her. Sally gave Little Johnny an angry glare, and she turns around. And then, the teacher asks the class, “What did Eve say to Adam after their 77th child?” and Little Johnny pokes Sally HARDER this time in the back, and Sally jumps, turns around and says, “If you stick that thing in me one more time, I swear I’m gonna lose it!” And the teacher faints.

9 1

Jokes about Women School Jokes Kids Jokes God Jokes Heaven And Hell Jokes

Q: How do you know when an Asian robs your house?
A: Your technology has been upgraded, your homework is finished, but he's still trying to back out of your drive way.

54 0

Technology Jokes Car and driving jokes School Jokes Asian jokes

Muslims commit suicide to go to Paradise and get 72 virgins… I just go to the local primary school

9 0

Virgin Jokes School Jokes

The teacher asked her class to use definitely in a sentence. Little Johnny raised his hand to answer, yet the teacher passed him and went on to Kevin. “The sky is definitely blue."
"Very good Kevin,but the sky can also be blue or black.” the teacher replied. Little Johnny raised his hand again as high as he could, yet the teacher passed right over him. And picked Annie from the back of the room. “The grass is definitely green."
"Very good Annie, but it can also be brown.” Little Johnny was waving his hand like crazy seeking her attention. Finally she called on him. “Mines more of a question, but do farts have lumps in them?"
"Why no Johnny why would you ask such a question?” She questioned. “Well if they don’t have lumps in them, then I definitely just shiт myself.”

9 0

Fart Jokes School Jokes

“Dad, can you write in the dark?”
“I think so. What is it you want me to write?”
“Your name on this report card.”

37 0

School Jokes Dad Jokes

Student: 503 bricks are on a plane. 1 falls off. How many are left?
Teacher: 502.
Student: How do you put an elephant in a fridge?
Teacher:No you can’t fit an elephant in a fridge!!
Student: Just open door, put elephant in, close door.
Student: How do you put a giraffe in the fridge?
Teacher: open door,put giraffe in, close door
Student: no! Open door, take elephant out, put giraffe in, close door.
Student: The Lion King is having a B-day party. All the animals are there, except one. Which one?
Teacher: let me guess the lion?
Student: No!The giraffe because He’s in a fridge.
Teacher: WOW!
Student: Sally has to get across a large river home to many alligators. They are very dangerous, but Sally swims across safely. How?
Teacher: Sally stepped on the alligators mouth?
Student:The gators are at the party.
Student: But Sally dies anyway. Why?
Teacher:She drowned?!
Student: no! She got hit in the head by a flying brick.

45 2

Sports Jokes School Jokes Animal Jokes Aviation Jokes Fitness jokes Student jokes Sick and Death Jokes

Q: What do college students and deer have in common?
A: They both stand in the middle of the road and stare at your headlights.

0 0

College jokes School Jokes

An American is lecturing a British person, saying things like “it’s an elevator not a lift” and “it’s сhiрs not crisps” etc. After a while of this the British person calmly retorted “they’re schools, not shooting ranges”.

29 0

School Jokes USA Jokes American Jokes

Two men were talking about their wives.
First:
"I'm a teacher whenever we are in bed my wife says repeat please."
Second:
"I'm a driver when we are sexing she thinks I'm in a gas station so she screws my diск and says:
'fill it up super!'"

45 0

Office and Work Jokes School Jokes Men jokes Sex Jokes Dirty jokes

After picking her son up from school one day, the mother asks him what he did at school. The kid replies, "I had sеx with my teacher." She gets so mad that when they get home, she orders him to go straight to his room. When the father returns home that evening, the mother angrily tells him the news of what their son had done. As the father hears the news, a huge grin spreads across his face. He walks to his son's room and asks him what happened at school, the son tells him, "I had sеx with my teacher." The father tells the boy that he is so proud of him, and he is going to reward him with the bike he has been asking for. On the way to the store, the dad asks his son if he would like to ride his new bike home. His son responds, "No thanks Dad, my вuтт still hurts."

6 0

School Jokes News and Politics Jokes Kids Jokes Sex Jokes Dad Jokes

Teacher:
"If I gave you 2 cats and another 2 cats and another 2, how many would you have?"
Johnny:
"Seven."
Teacher:
"No, listen carefully... If I gave you two cats, and another two cats and another two, how many would you have?"
Johnny:
"Seven."
Teacher:
"Let me put it to you differently. If I gave you two apples, and another two apples and another two, how many would you have?"
Johnny:
"Six."
Teacher:
"Good. Now if I gave you two cats, and another two cats and another two, how many would you have?"
Johnny:
"Seven!"
Teacher:
"Johnny, where in the heck do you get seven from?!"
Johnny:
"Because I've already got a freaking cat!"

7 0

School Jokes

A boy washed with his mum in the bathroom and saw her vаginа and asks:
"what the hеll is this".
"It is called a cave" replied the mother.
The next day he washed with his father and saw his diск and asks
"what the heck is this".
"This is called little Johnny".
The next day he went to school and his teacher was mad that he came late to school so she told him to sing a song.
He started to sing
"when the black clouds came out of the mountain little Johnny ran into the cave."

54 1

Sex Jokes School Jokes Dirty jokes Music and Musician Jokes Communication Jokes

Teacher: "How much is half of 8?"
Little Johnny: "Up and down or across?"
Teacher: "What do you mean?"
Little Johnny: "Well, up and down makes a 3 or across the middle leaves a 0!"

57 0

Math Jokes Little Johnny Jokes School Jokes