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Stupid Jokes

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Q: Once there was the tooth fairy, Santa Claus, Easter bunny, a smart blonde and a dumb blonde they were walking down the road when they saw a $100 dollars bill who gets it??
A: No one the first four doesn't exist and the other blonde thought it was a gum wrapper!
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Money jokes Blonde Jokes Christmas Jokes Stupid Jokes Easter Jokes
Q: Why did two women walk into a saloon pointing bananas at people and shouting:
"GIVE US YER LOOT!"
A: They were both blonds.
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Money jokes Blonde Jokes Stupid Jokes
There were four people on a plane.
One of them, the Pilot.
The other was the president of the United States –Obama, The oldest man in the world, and a little boy.
The plane was about to crash and the only option for survival was to jump!
But there were only three parachutes.
The Pilot took a parachute and said, "I'm the pilot, so I should get a parachute."
And he jumped off.
Then Obama grabs a and jumps saying, "Since I'm the president, I get one too!"
And he jumps.
The little boy then grabs a parachute and hands it to the old man.
The man declines, saying, "No, boy, take it. I'm too old anyway."
The boy answers, "What? No! Obama took my back-pack!"
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Political Jokes Dark Humor Jokes Old People Jokes Aviation Jokes Stupid Jokes Pilot Jokes American Presidents Humor
Yo mama is so sтuрid that she thinks Tiger Woods is a forest in India.
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Yo Momma Jokes Golf jokes Stupid Jokes
I wonder what happened to that dumb blonde I went out with.
I dyed my hair!
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Blonde Jokes Beauty Jokes Stupid Jokes
Two boys have taken part in IQ tests at the well-known psychologist.
The first boy has opened the door after 30 minutes of testing and has screamed: "wow, perfect, unbelievable, I have 60 points, I have 60 points!"
After another 30 minutes has opened the door the second boy and has screamed: "wow, super, I have 62 points, I have 62 points!"
They sat down and asked each other: "and what does it mean, that you have 60 points and I have 62 points? Let us ask the psychologist what does it mean?"
The psychologist has said: "the 60 and 62 points means that you are both idiots."
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Psychology and Psychiatry Jokes Medical and Doctor Jokes Stupid Jokes
Yo momma so fат she thought planet earth was her stomach.
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Yo Momma Jokes Stupid Jokes
A mother and father took their 6 year old son to a nudе beach.
As the boy walked along the beach, he noticed that some of the ladies had воовs вiggеr than his mother's, and asked her why.
She told her son, "The вiggеr they are the dumber the person is."
The boy, pleased with the answer, goes to play in the ocean but returns to tell his mother that many of the men have larger williеs than his dad. His mother replied, "The вiggеr they are the dumber the person is."
Again satisfied with this answer, the boy returns to the ocean to play.
Shortly after, the boy returned again.
He promptly tells his mother, "Daddy is talking to the dumbest girl on the beach and the longer he talks, the dumber he gets."
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A father, mother, and son were going to Europe and were going to visit the nude beaches while they were there. Едно семейство отива на нудистки плаж. По едно време идва детето и пита майка си: - Мамо, какви са жените с големи гърди? - Те са прости, моето момче! - А жените с малки гърди? - Те са умни! Момчето задоволено от отговорите отишло да си играе. След малко пак пристига: - Мамо, какви са мъжете с... Mutter und Vater nehmen ihren 6jährigen Sohn mit zum Nacktbadestrand. Als der Junge so am Strand umherläuft, bemerkt er, dass viele Frauen größere Brüste haben als seine Mutter. Also geht er zurück... Pietje gaat met zijn ouders naar een naaktcamping. Als pietje al een dag op de camping is geweest, zegt hij tegen zijn moeder: "Ik heb vrouwen gezien met kleine tieten en met grote tieten." Waarop... Kleine Hendrik gaat met zijn vader en zijn moeder voor de allereerste keer naar het naaktstrand. Ze lopen wat rond over het strand. Hendrik's vader gaat alvast naar de zee. Hendrik kijkt wat rond...
Men vs Women Jokes Kids Jokes Old People Jokes Stupid Jokes Boob Jokes
Three guys are stuck on a deserted island when one of them finds a lamp on the beach. He picks it up and gives it a little rub and a genie pop out. The genie looks at the three guys and says:
"I normally give three wishes, but since there are three of you, I will grant each of you one wish."Well, the first guy is sick and tired of being on the island, so he wishes to go back home. РООF!He disappears. The second one said he, too, is tired of the island and wishes to go home. РООF!He too disappears. The genie then turns to the last guy and asks him what his wish is."Gee," he says," I'm awfully lonely here by myself. I wish my friends were still here!"
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Die Wunderlampe На един самотен остров останали три блондинки. Търговски представител, администатор и управител на една фирма отишли да обядват заедно. A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette were all lost in the desert. They found a lamp and rubbed it. A genie popped out and granted them each one wish. A blonde, a brunette and a redhead were stuck on an island for many, many years until one day they found a magic lamp. They rubbed it hard and out popped a genie. He said that he could only give three wishes so since there were three girls, each... Three men stranded on an island. They were walking across the sand when they came across a magic lamp; they rubbed the lamp and out came a genie. The genie said "you have three wishes but make it... Están tres náufragos solos en una isla desierta y se encuentran una lámpara maravillosa. El genio les dice que les va a conceder un deseo a cada uno. El primero dice: - Deseo irme con mi familia y... Eran tres hombres en una isla desierta, y de pronto se encuentran una lámpara mágica, y los tres hombres la frotan, de pronto sale el genio de la lámpara y les dice a los tres hombres que les va a... Esto son tres amigas que se encuentran en una isla desierta, una es morena, otra pelirroja y la otra rubia y se encuentran una lampara y una de ellas dice: - Yo he oído que si se frota sale un...
Friendship Jokes Genie jokes Stupid Jokes
Q: Does your mum like shopping on the Internet?
A: No, the trolley keeps rolling off the top of the computer.
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Technology Jokes Yo Momma Jokes Computer Jokes Internet Jokes Stupid Jokes
The boss called me into the office today and said “I’m sorry, but I don’t think you’re smart enough for this job.”
“That’s вullshiт!” I yelled. “If you sack me, I’ll tell everyone you have a small willy.”
“Yeah, that’s going to work!” she replied.
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Office and Work Jokes Stupid Jokes Boss Jokes
My husband, who uses a wheelchair, showed up at his eye doctor for an appointment.
The receptionist checked the schedule, then said, "The nurse will call you in a moment. Have a seat."
He smiled. "Done."
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Nurse jokes Marriage and Family Jokes Medical and Doctor Jokes Communication Jokes Stupid Jokes
Q: Why did the blonde keep an empty carton of milk in the fridge?
A: In case she wanted black coffee.
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Blonde Jokes Food Jokes Stupid Jokes Coffee Jokes
I went duck shooting today.
There was bits of yellow rubber everywhere and my kids climbed out of the bath screaming.
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Stupid Jokes Kids Jokes
Yo momma is so sтuрid when they asked her 1+1 she said "Ouch! it is a long story."
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Math Jokes Yo Momma Jokes Stupid Jokes
Ollie was trying to sell his car. He was having a lot of problems selling it because the car had 250,000 miles on it.
One day, he told his problem to his friend Sven who worked at the gas station. Sven told him, “Ollie, der’s a way ta make selling da car easier, but it ain’t legal.”
“Dat don’t matter,” replied Ollie, “If I can sell da car, dat’s ok.”
“Okay,” said Sven. “Here’s da address of a frienda mine. He owns a car repair shop. Tell em I sent you and he vill turn da counter in yer car back ta 50,000 miles. Den it von’t be a problem ta sell yer car anymore.”
The following weekend, Ollie made the trip to the mechanic. About one month after that, Sven asked Ollie, “Vell, Ollie, did ya sell yer car?”
“No,” replied Ole, “Vy should I sell it, ya duммy? Now it only has 50,000 miles on it.”
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- Képzeld még mindig nem tudtam eladni az autómat, senkinek sem kell. Túl sok a 350.000 km, ami benne van. Mire a másik: - Bízd rám, a barátom autószerelő, ő majd visszapörgeti neked a km órát...
Stupid Jokes Office and Work Jokes Friendship Jokes
1. You read the Auto Trader with a highlight pen.
….
2. The Salvation Army declines your mattress.
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3. The taillight covers of your car are made of red tape.
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4. Birds are attracted to your beard.
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5. Your wife’s job requires her to wear an orange vest.
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6. Your school fight song was “Dueling Banjos”
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7. You think a chain saw is a musical instrument.
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8. Your coffee table used to be a cable spool.
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9. You keep a can of RAID on the kitchen table.
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10. There are more than five McDonald’s bags in your car.
…
Attribution: Jeff Foxworthy
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Stupid Jokes School Jokes Military Jokes Coffee Jokes
One guy says to a bald guy "Your hair ran away to find someone with a brain."
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Insult Jokes Men jokes Stupid Jokes
Until 1961 it was illegal to attempt suicide in the UK.
The punishment was death.
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Stupid Jokes
Shouldn’t the air and space museum be empty?
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Stupid Jokes
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