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A man was found guilty of overusing commas.
The judge warned him to expect a really long sentence.
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"Last Sunday I found a wallet packed with money down by the church."
"Did you give it back?"
"Not yet. I'm still trying to decide if it's a temptation from the devil or the answer to a prayer."
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Q: What's worse than a redhead and a brunette trying to build a house underwater?
A: A blonde trying to set fire to it.
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"I'm suffering dreadfully from insomnia. I've tried all sorts of remedies, but I can find nothing that will send me to sleep."
"Why don't your try talking to yourself?"
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If you rearrange the letters of MAILMEN...
They get really upset.
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NED: I have a knocker on my house door.
ED: Really. You have a knocker.
NED: Does that impress you?
ED: Yes. You deserve the No Веll prize.
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From a passenger ship one can see a bearded man on a small island who is shouting and desperately waving is hands.
"Who is it?" a passenger asks the captain.
"I have no idea. Every year when we pass, he goes mad like that."
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В живота на мъжа има три периода:
Три стадии взросления мужчины
Quelles sont les quatre étapes de la vie ? 1) You believe in Santa Claus 2) You don't believe in Santa Claus 3) You are Santa Claus 4) You look like Santa Claus
Il y a quatre âges dans la vie de l'homme : - celui où il croit au Père Noël ; - celui où il ne croit plus au Père Noël ; - celui où il est le Père Noël ; - celui où il ressemble au Père Noël.
Quelles sont les quatre étapes de la vie ? 1) Vous croyez au Père-Noël 2) Vous ne croyez pas au Père-Noël 3) Vous êtes le Père-Noël 4) Vous ressemblez au Père-Noël
Живота на всеки мъж протича на три етапа: 1. Вярваш в Дядо Коледа. 2. Не вярваш в Дядо Коледа. 3. Ти си Дядо Коледа.
Det finns fyra stadier i en mans liv: 1 Han tror på jultomten. 2 Han tror inte på jultomten. 3 Han är jultomten. 4 Han har glömt bort jultomten.
Når det gjelder julenissen gjennomgår de fleste mennesker tre stadier: – Først tror de på julenissen – Så tror de ikke på julenissen – Og så må de være julenissen
1) Han tror på julenissen. 2) Han tror ikke på julenissen. 3) Han kler seg ut som julenissen. 4) Han ser ut som julenissen. 5) Han tror han er julenissen.
De fire stadier i livet som mand: 1. du tror på julemanden 2. du tror ikke på julemanden 3. du er julemanden 4. du ligner julemanden
Elämän kiertokulku: 1. Uskot joulupukkiin. 2. Et usko joulupukkiin. 3. Olet joulupukki. 4. Näytät joulupukilta.
Aprendi que o homem tem quatro idades: 1 quando acredita em Papai Noel
1. Amikor elhiszed
Cele 3 stadii ale vieţii Stadiul unu: Crezi în Moş Crăciun. Stadiul doi: Nu mai crezi în Moş Crăciun. Stadiul trei: Devii Moş Crăciun.
The 4 stages of man...
He believes in Santa Claus.
He doesn't believe in Santa Claus.
He is Santa Claus.
He looks like Santa Claus.
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"You see, doctor, I’m always dizzy for half an hour after I get up in the morning,” said Carla.
"I have the solution for you," replied the doctor.
"Really, what is it?"
“Well, try getting up half an hour later."
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I can guarantee you won't feel any pain, in “no one's hurtin” terms.
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If a man is bald in front, he's a thinker...
If he's bald in the back, he is a lover...
If he's bald in the front and back, he thinks he's a lover.
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Теретана
El anciano que va al gimnasio
Генко към фитнес инструктора:
Във Фитнеса Момче отива във фитнес залата и пита фитнес инструктура:
Today is my first day at the gym… I walk in and see a bunch of hot women working out
Komt een man bij de fitness. Deze vraagt aan de instructeur met welk apparaat hij de meeste indruk kan maken bij de dames. De instructeur zegt als je naar buiten gaat dan vindt je om de hoek een...
Egy pasi a konditerembe odamegy az edzőhöz. - Melyik gépet kell használnom
Egy dagadt pasi az edzőteremben meglát egy fiatal
An old guy was working out in the gym when he spotted an attractive young lady.
He asked a nearby trainer, "What machine should I use to impress that lady over there?"
The trainer looked him up and down and said, "I would try the ATM in the lobby.
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While visiting a water show a tourist asked one of the divers, "Why do scuba divers always fall backward off their boats?
To which the diver replied, "If they fell forward, they'd still be in the boat."
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They say that an apple a day will keep the doctor away...
Why stop there?
An onion a day will keep everybody away!
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A truck loaded with Vick’s VapoRub overturned on the highway.
Amazingly, there was no congestion for eight hours.
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Доктора: Ако ви кажа
Doctor: "Would you have the money if I said you needed an operation?"
Patient: "Would you say I needed an operation if you thought I didn't have the money?"
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Fact of Life: After Monday & Tuesday Even the Calendar says W T F
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A young woman gazed up from her hospital bed at the very handsome doctor who was examining her chart. She fluttered her eyelids and said, "They tell me that you are a real lady killer."
The doctor smiled and shook his head. "No, I make no distinction between the sexes."
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