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Psychology, Psychotherapy, and psychiatry jokes, Shrinks Jokes
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What's the difference between a loan and a psychologist?
The loan eventually matures and earns money.
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Pavlov's dog to his ladyfriend: "See that! Everytime I salivate, Pavlov smiles and scribbles something in his notebook."
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How many psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb?
One, but it really has to want to change.
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How do two psychiatrists greet each other?
''You are fine, how am I?''
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How many psychologists do you need to change a lightbulb?
Hm, and how many do YOU think?
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American psychologists have isolated two fundamental reasons why men frequent bars.
1) They don’t have a woman.
2) They have a woman.
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Отива една мадама при лекаря:
Пришла одна баба к врачу.
При доктора:
A lady says to the psychiatrist
- Va rog sa ma ajutati
Жінка
A woman seated herself in the psychiatrists office. "What seems to be the problem?" the doctor asked. "Well, I, uh," she stammered. "I think I, uh, might be a nymphomaniac."
"I see," he said. "I can help you, but I must advise you that my fee is $80 an hour."
"That's not bad," she replied. "How much for all night?"
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My psychologist told me not to keep things bottled up so I went home and drank all my wine.
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In a psychiatrist’s office:
A man comes in and says,
“Good day to you. I am King Arthur. I demand to Speak with the doctor.”
The nurse says wearily,
“You are not King Arthur, Mr. Crankleberry. Please sit down.”
Mr. Crankleberry exclaims,
“I am! It was God himself who told me I am King Arthur.”
Another patient stands up angrily,
“I certainly did not!”
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